Well, I'm still scuba diving. And that has given rise to fear. Today my sweet hubby heard this on the radio and shared it with me. I found it so encouraging. I hope you do, too! In honor of Dr. Stanley's advice and in honor of my friend, Deb's, practice of requesting five favorites on Friday, I decided that I would share my five favorite ways that God has been faithful to me. Please share your favorites even if Friday is long since past as they will encourage me and my other readers.
1. It was 1985 and I was a lower middle class girl from South Dakota wanting to attend a private Christian college. I was a finalist for what was called a Faculty Scholarship. It was for $10,000 which at that time was a lot. I had done all the interviews and I felt sure I would be awarded that scholarship. I remember clearly trudging through the snow to the tiny post office in my hometown (of 100 residents) to pick up the envelope that had my college fate inside. After I opened it, I couldn't believe that God had let me down. I had not gotten the scholarship. My little life had been mostly full of successes up to that point. I was reeling as I realized that I couldn't attend college there. I showed the letter to my mom and I made the difficult phone call to the college to tell them that I was withdrawing my registration. To my surprise, the admissions person said that although I hadn't won the scholarship, I had been awarded enough other scholarships and financial aid to pay for all my schooling. God is faithful!
2. In 1989 I traveled to Europe and the Soviet Union as part of a college seminar after I graduated. I left my passport and all my critical belongings (credit card, airplane ticket, visa, etc.) but $200 on a train in Moscow. I was told that my passport would most likely have been sold on the black market immediately and that it would take the cash I had just to call home. My seminar leader told me that they would have to go to the next country without me. I went to my hotel room and took a shower that alternated between scalding hot water and freezing cold. Maybe just to make the story better? LOL I remembered that we are to pray about crises like this until we have peace. That is just what I did. I said, "Lord, you can make the person who finds my passport turn it in." I fell asleep after feeling the matter was decided. I was awakened by my leader who told me the passport had been found. When I retrieved it the next day, not one coin had been removed from it. God is faithful!
3. In the late 1990s, I received a phone call that my dad was near death. I was devastated. I wasn't ready for him to go home. I prayed and prayed and asked God for affirmation from His Word. I opened my Bible randomly to read Psalm 6. It said my prayers had been answered and my dad couldn't praise God from the grave. My dad did indeed recover. In 1999, I had the habit of calling my dad in the nursing home every Wednesday evening. Often if I had something else to do, I would forget to call him and would call on Thursday. I remembered one Tuesday evening that I would be at church the following night so called my dad. We had a conversation that encouraged me that my dad knew the Lord. The next night I received a phone call before I left for church that my dad was once again near death. I knew that he would not live. But I also knew that God had assured me of my dad's salvation. He died that night. God is faithful!
4. In 2001, I aspired to be a "real" writer. One afternoon I received a copy of Woman's Day magazine that asked for nominations of women who make a difference in their communities. I put the magazine in my massive to-do pile, intending to nominate Sharon Rohrbach, an acquaintance from church who had founded Nurses for Newborns. A couple months later, I came across the magazine and emailed a letter with a brief prayer, sure that it was too late. Several months later I learned that Sharon would be an award recipient and would be flown to NYC to meet the First Lady. I was shocked when a few weeks later one of Woman's Day's editors called and invited me to come, too. I met with an editor who asked me to send her a story idea (the story idea is an incredible answer to prayer, too). Suddenly, my writing was printed in a magazine with a circulation of 6,000,000. God is faithful!
5. In 2001, I had also suffered a painful miscarriage. I had also wrestled with the grief of never having a daughter. I was so thankful for my healthy baby boys and loved them all passionately, but had to let go of the dream of a girl. In 2003, I was nursing my fourth precious boy when I began to feel extremely fatigued. I was sure I wasn't pregnant as I had not even started cycling again. I had always planned my pregnancies to the minute in the past. But sure enough, I took a pregnancy test and was stunned to learn I was expecting again. Because I had no idea how long I had been pregnant, I had to have an ultrasound. The technician gave me the baby's due date and I sobbed all the way home. It was the same due date as the baby I had miscarried. Months later I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. God is faithful!
An acquaintance of mine asked me recently what I’ve been doing this summer. This shouldn’t be a tough question. I mean, isn’t this a kid’s favorite essay topic upon returning to school in the fall? Yet for me, the question was a challenging one. My acquaintance seemed puzzled by my reaction as I struggled to produce a list of activities that sounded good. After a few awkward moments and my acquaintance looking as though she were sorry she’d asked, I told her the truth: I’ve been deep sea diving.
My husband introduced me to the delights of snorkeling on our honeymoon 17 years ago. In exchange for very little risk (you wear a life jacket and float on top of the water), snorkeling offers you a little glimpse of heaven. Beneath tropical waters lies a breathtakingly beautiful new world where colorful fish, plants, and creatures live and play. I was so enamored with snorkeling that when my husband suggested deep sea diving, I said no, thank you. I preferred floating on top of the water where I had a ready source of oxygen and was close to shore should a shark decide to ruin my fun.
My husband accepted my refusal, but this summer, God didn’t. He decided I was ready to dive. Deep sea diving requires that you wear a heavy air tank that helps you descend into the depths and is also rather essential for breathing. This spring is when I noticed that I started to feel weighed down. A number of troubling new physical symptoms appeared and some that I’ve been familiar with grew worse. I convinced myself that I could hold my breath until I reached the surface in a few days. But before long I had to admit I was continuing to descend and needed another source of air.
Frankly, my devotional life had become like snorkeling. I would take God’s Word in with a short tube, but I never kept my face in the water for long. But now that the weight of illness had me sinking further and further into the dark and murky depths, I was desperate. I began praying fervently, reading and studying my Bible, and taking in a neglected devotional: Streams in the Desert. Streams in the Desert told me that I was diving and why. God had weighed me down and was keeping me in the depths so that I might find pearls.
I’ve never been a huge fan of pearls, especially because you can buy an imitation strand for next to nothing. But when it comes to pearls of wisdom, I soon learned that God thought I had chosen cheap imitations long enough. My fake pearls were the healing advice of those who denied God. This worldly wisdom couldn’t withstand the pressure I was now under. As my symptoms drew me into deeper, murkier waters, the more fervently I searched for answers that would return me to a healthy life on shore. I was really glad when I found those first few real pearls. God showed me some of the reasons for my illness and I made some significant changes. I waited to begin ascending to the surface. But it didn’t happen. I continued to breathe in what God had to say in the Bible and I continued to search for pearls. Every time I found another precious bit of wisdom, I would be certain my ascent back to good health would begin. But it didn’t.
I am so thankful my dive hasn’t been entirely solitary. God has never left my side and every so often, my husband, family, and friends dive down to encourage me and send up prayers on my behalf. So many times I have thought I was done collecting pearls. I would have been happy collecting enough for a ring, but God apparently has me stringing together a long necklace! One thing I do know: I am not just enriching myself. As I search for the answers to my own health problems, I find pearls of wisdom for loved ones who are suffering. I have prayed for so long for so many of those whose precious pearls I am now collecting in the depths. When I return from my dive, I am eager to share the answers to prayer I have found.
I am still diving. I do not know how long it will be until I return to good health. But I know that the same air tanks that brought me low will sustain me. I know God’s dives are never too short or too long. I am so thankful that God sent me to this fearful place. What incredible treasures I would have missed had I stayed safely floating on the surface. Before this summer, I was a snorkeler; now I am a deep sea diver. I do not wish illness on anyone, but I do pray that God will draw you into a living, breathing, life-transforming relationship with Him. If He does, then when someone asks what you did this summer, you can smile and answer, “I went deep sea diving.”
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. (Psalm 139:8).
The kids and I studied human birth and development this year and I had to pass along a fantastic resource for Christian parents: Life Before Birth. It doesn't tell the whole story of conception so it's appropriate for younger kids. It also discounts the evolutionary dogma that leads to pro-abortion attitudes. If you're a homeschooler, this a wonderful resource. But if you're just a mom or grandma who wants to share the miracle of conception and birth with your children, this book is a must-have!
I continue to be fascinated by procrastination and in a broader sense by motivation. I am still using AutoFocus to get things done (see www.markforster.net for more information. I notice time and time again that the tasks that get left on my list are those that I don’t know how to do.
My mother loves to remind me that I didn’t want to go to school because I couldn’t read and I didn’t want to take swimming lessons because I couldn’t swim. I could actually do both but I didn’t have the competence I thought would be expected of me.
With my history of fear of failure, incompetence, rejection or whatever it is, I should not be surprised that novel tasks are put off. My most recent new projects were grooming my dog and making beef jerky. Adding to my fear of grooming my dog were my relatives who said to take her to a pro. I was afraid I would hurt her at worst and make her ugly at best.
The jerky making project involved using an electric slicer for the first time. At worst I was afraid of hurting myself. Then I dealt with the fear that I had wasted a lot of money on a slicer and dehydrator and meat for no return.
Despite the fear I attacked both projects. Most likely my fear of spending money on equipment I never used outweighed my fear of messing up. I also used some positive self-talk:
These things take practice. You’ll get better at them. If it just doesn’t work, you can get help. You have taught yourself to do many other scary things. Just doing it is less anxiety provoking than seeing it on your list every day.
The end of the story is the dog is groomed. I did hurt her once, but she has forgiven me. She looks much better. Does she look professional? No. The great thing is it was much easier than I imagined; I learned something new. I saved money.
I also made fabulous beef jerky with no additives. It was so much easier and faster than I thought it would be. I didn’t get cut. The pieces are too small but otherwise I am thrilled.
What are you procrastinating doing because you don’t know how? Talk to yourself like a coach would and just do it! You will be so glad you did.
If you are inspired by stories of changed lives, look no further than Transformation.com. Bill Phillips's new website has photos and videos of dramatic transformations. If you need a little push to get in shape, put your life back together after tough times, or help breaking free of addiction, you may find it here. What you won't find, however, is consistent Christian teaching. Although some of the people profiled are clearly Christians, many are not. As a warning, the discussion on the forum is quite New Age. My Bible-based opinion is that true transformation is not possible by searching within or focusing on some "light," but only by the power of God working in and through you.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
