I was born with soft, paper-thin, peeling nails and never understood why I hadn’t been given the gene for my mother’s gorgeous fingernails.
I never bothered to paint them, because in no time, my nails would tear off and look hideous anyway.
The Search for a Solution
As a teen, I’d heard that Knox gelatin could change my nails. I can’t honestly say I consumed lots of this stuff, but what I did eat didn’t seem to make a difference.
I tried getting expensive salon nails, because I figured I was destined to require them. I was at a dance when mine started flying off, leaving even thinner nails behind.
My next attempt at rescuing my nails was to use a nail strengthener. Over the past 30 years, I’ve used many of them. They always worked temporarily. If I was religious about using them, my nails grew a bit before they were torn off.
The most researched solution I tried was biotin. This vitamin is supposed to make a difference in your nails, but alas for me, it didn’t. My nails continued to be weak, despite taking biotin faithfully.
I was hopeful that I had found the answer, however. Lack of iron is supposed to contribute to poor nails. As I’d been anemic in the past, I figured iron supplements would do the trick. Nope! Layers of my nails continued to peel.
I was ready to give up when I read an article online that gave me the surprising solution to my no-nails dilemma.
How to Grow Your Nails
1. Keep your nails from getting wet. If you wash dishes or clean with wet solutions frequently, wear gloves. I knew that wasn’t my problem. Instead, as long as I could remember, I had put my nails in my mouth. A lot. I didn’t bite them off, but I put them in my mouth as a nervous habit. When I was driving or trying to solve a problem, my nails went in my mouth. When I was most anxious, I chewed them like leather.
2. File away the rough edges immediately. I wasn’t doing this consistently. I put it off, ignoring the fact that rough edges made it inevitable that my nails would catch on something and tear off.
I had to be constantly vigilant to put this advice into action. I had no idea how frequently I put my nails in my mouth! And what’s more, I couldn’t believe that I thought I could chew on my nails and have them be strong. But as I refrained from doing so and filed as soon as I saw any sharp corners or ragged edges on my nails, they started to grow.
My nails had grown before, but this time was different. While they weren’t rock hard nails, they were strong. I could actually tap them on the counter and make noise! And that was without nail strengthener. The photo taken above was taken before I had grown them to their maximum length. Surprisingly enough, I’ve found I don’t like them as long as they can be! I’ve cut myself with them playing tennis. For the first time, I actually have to trim my nails with a clipper. They’re so strong that they don’t tear off. They actually break!
What Does This Have to Do With Changing Your Life?
No, having longer, stronger nails hasn’t really changed my life. What has is what I’ve learned in growing them out. As with so many other areas of my life where I’ve desired change, I spent lots of time looking for the unique solution to growing my nails. I was sure there was some magic potion that would accomplish what I wanted. There wasn’t.
Instead, I learned that most of the time, changing your life means not destroying it yourself. It isn’t that we need a new diet or exercise plan. We need to stop eating when we aren’t hungry. It isn’t that we need a better coupon organizing system; we need to stop buying things we don’t need. I didn’t need to find the right nail strengthener. I needed to stop weakening my nails by putting them in my mouth and chewing them. I was like the foolish woman who tore her house down with her own hands (Prov. 14:1). It wasn’t genetics that had destroyed my nails; it was me.
The solution is often so simple, we don’t see it.
The second piece of advice is like it. Filing away the ragged edges immediately is like addressing life’s problems right away. When we eat those cookies when we’ve already had a filling meal, we need to ask ourselves why and take steps to prevent it in the future. When we come home with a purchase we don’t need, we need to return it right away. It’s like my mama always used to say: “Nip it in the bud!”
If we ignore this wisdom, we will continue living with weak nails and a weak life. We’ll waste our time and money on solutions that aren’t solutions at all.
What about you? What have you tried to grow your nails and change your life? What will you try now?
I read Jen Hatmaker’s post on the trouble with including Santa in the celebration, the problem with commercialism, and the guilt we ought to feel about purchasing goods produced by slave labor.
When I finished reading, I continued on to read the comments, of which there were many. Most of them were cheering Jen on with cries of, “Exactly! This is why my family celebrates this way (or doesn’t celebrate at all).”
I was left wondering if I was celebrating Christmas the right way.
I mean, I can’t really disagree with most of what Jen said and I’m one of the most guilt-prone people I know. But something kept me from wanting to beat myself up one more time.
I was confused by my confusion. Why wasn’t I reacting to this message the way I ordinarily do?
I took the matter to the Expert on all things Christmas and was surprised by what He said.
I expected to hear that although I celebrate well in some respects–like giving gifts similar to those the Wise Men gave–I was really messing things up. I figured He’d give me what for on the Santa stuff especially–lying to my children! How could I?
Then I was sure He would take me to task on how excited I get about buying gifts for people. He would remind me of the giddy anticipation I have of Black Friday and how it pales in comparison to my anticipation of Good Friday. He would be right.
But that isn’t what He said. He said, “Melanie…
Christmas isn’t about what you do.
Christmas isn’t about what I do? But that’s all I hear about these days–what people DO for Christmas. Facebook, Pinterest, even the news is all about what we do for Christmas. There are all kinds of ideas for gifts, decorating, and food. There are even lots of ideas about how to focus on the Reason for the Season.
While I was still trying to make sense of what He’d said, He explained:
Christmas is about what I did.
The grammarian in me recognized immediately His use of the past tense. Christmas is about what God had already done. He sent His Son, Jesus, to be born to a most humble couple in the most humble of circumstances.
What God had done changed my life. That’s the past perfect tense. What God did for you and me in the past, He did perfectly in Jesus. But I still wondered if I was celebrating Him in the right way. His answer surprised me again.
I sent Jesus to answer that question.
He sent Jesus to tell me whether I was celebrating Christmas the right way? To tell me about Santa and slave labor? Then I understood.
The answer to the question is a resounding “no.” I’m not celebrating Christmas the right way. What’s more, I’m not living the right way. But if I were capable of living right, I wouldn’t need a Savior. Doh.
I was seized by a joy that I haven’t experienced at Christmas in years. Christmas isn’t about what I do. It’s about what God did!
The most glorious truth about the birth of our Savior is that I can’t mess it up. Christmas is here whether Santa steals the spotlight or some Grinch steals our goodies.
Christmas is here whether the whole world trades “Merry Christmas!” for “Happy Holidays!” It’s here even if Black Friday begins the day after Halloween. It’s here no matter what you and I do.
We’re not celebrating Christmas the right way, friend. But Jesus came for that very purpose.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
This post is part of the Inspired Holiday Hop. You may enjoy these participating posts:
I’m not asking about life after you’ve just had a baby. I’m wondering if you feel like you’re the walking dead, not because you’re so exhausted, but because something is missing in your life. Maybe you’re not Undead, but someone you know is.
My Life as a Zombie
During my first years of graduate school, I staggered around campus exhausted, not because of the work or even the stress, but because I was existing apart from God. I thought psychology could put life into my life and solve my many problems, but it couldn’t. Studying psychology for me, was like a Zombie thinking that devouring brains could assuage the pain raging inside them. My book, So You’re Not Wonder Woman, is about my transformation from Zombie to Wonder Woman through the Super Power of God. Wonder Woman became the object lesson I used to tell women they don’t have to live as Zombies amid piles of dirty laundry, unpaid bills, and broken relationships.
Zombies: The Ultimate Object Lesson
I’ve had many women tell me that Wonder Woman is a powerful word picture for them of who they can be through the power of Christ. That’s why I was excited to read Undead by Clay Morgan. The book not only depicts life apart from God as a Zombie-like existence, it turns the entire Bible into a series of macabre stories that share the Gospel. The book is well-written (I’m a very picky reader), funny (Clay creatively uses footnotes to inject humor), and incredibly informative. He shares a rationale for our obsession with all things zombie (and vampire, too) and gives us fascinating lessons in history and science along the way.
You Need to Get Undead If
You feel like something’s missing. Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve been to church, you’ve been having a difficult time, or you’re just curious about Jesus or the Bible. Undead will encourage you.
You have a child fascinated with zombies or vampires. If you’re a Christian homeschooler, the book would serve as an excellent unit study.
You have a relationship with a young adult who has left the church. Clay speaks directly to the UnChristian generation, but especially to those who have some church background.
You want to learn a method of reaching unbelievers. My sister-in-law teaches story-telling as a means of sharing the Bible with people of all cultures. Even if you could not get someone to read the book, you can learn Clay’s method of turning the Bible into creepy stories–and I mean creepy in a good way!
One Important Note
On page 33, Clay writes, “Most conservative Christians don’t like to consider any other possibility outside of God creating all of existence in six literal days, although I think it’s possible that the origins of the universe aren’t as squeaky clean as that.” He then goes on to make it clear that he does not believe in traditional evolution wherein everything was created by chance. In saying this, he certainly appeals to a culture that clings to the evolution-based premise that the earth is billions of years old, while refusing to agree with a universe that was not created. If someone takes your suggestion to read the book and isn’t familiar with evidence against evolution, I highly recommend the video, The Grand Experiment, produced by our friend, Dr. Carl Werner. Our baby has a bit part in it! This superb material is also available in book form.
Finally, I must disclose that I requested a free copy of the book to review. As an author myself, I know how important social media and reviews are to getting books into the hands of readers, so I wanted to be of help. However, if I hadn’t liked the book, I wouldn’t have given a positive review (unless of course I were a zombie).
Get a Free Copy of Undead
In the interest of getting the word out about Undead (this is the official book page) and also building this blog’s following, I will be giving away a free copy to one of my readers. If you buy and read the book, please take a few minutes to leave a review on Amazon. While you’re there, please review So You’re Not Wonder Woman as well. Reviews are the number one determinant of buying decisions. Have a great Undead day!
Recently, my pastor said he needed to talk with me. We talked within view of his wife (one of my dearest friends) and he asked if I would be willing to do something for him. He explained what it was and the reason he was asking, then told me to take the time I needed to think and pray about it. The truth is, I knew what my answer would be before he even asked.
How could I say yes before I even knew the request?
Because I trust my pastor more than I trust myself. Don’t get me wrong. He isn’t perfect. In fact, he’s quite honest about his weaknesses. Of course, his humility makes his weaknesses anything but. When my pastor asked me to do something for him, I knew he would have:
Prayed about it. He would have sought the Lord fervently before ever bringing it to my attention. I knew he would have asked his wife to pray as well.
Determined it was necessary. My pastor asked me to do something that he wouldn’t have had it not been important.
Considered my needs. Had he thought it would be detrimental to me or my family, he wouldn’t have asked.
I also knew that he would leave the decision to me. He would never insist that I do something, even if it was the right thing to do.
The whole discussion in which I agreed to help my pastor without a second thought didn’t surprise me. What surprised me is realizing that I don’t have the same no-reservations agreement to doing things for my Lord and Savior. Yet:
The Holy Spirit would never ask me to do anything outside the Father’s will.
He would never ask me to do something if it weren’t necessary.
He would never ask me to do something that He couldn’t use for my good.
And He would always leave the decision to me.
From now on, when the Holy Spirit seeks to have a conversation with me, my answer–to the best of my ability–will be yes.
But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. (1 John 2:5-6)
How about you? Are there people you would do anything for, but are there things you’ve been reluctant to do for God?
Like a married woman who becomes dissatisfied reading romance novels, I have become dissatisfied with mundane Christianity as I’ve read the thrilling adventures of missionaries–men and women like Gladys Aylward, Esther Kim, Hudson Taylor, Samuel Morris, and Eric Liddell.
Our Kids are Bored
The book, Already Gone: Why your kids will quit church and what you can do to stop it, makes the argument that young people are leaving the Christian church in droves because the church isn’t addressing the big questions on evolution and the veracity of the Bible. I agree, but I also believe that young people are leaving because they’re bored. My son is currently on his mission trip to Africa. He called me from Nairobi more excited than I’ve heard him in years. The Kenyan church is on fire for God, he told me. I don’t want the flame to go out when he returns.
I’m Bored, Too
I’m only 40-something, but I’m bored, too. By boredom, I don’t mean that God is boring, because He isn’t. The relationship I have with Jesus Christ is the most exciting relationship I’ve ever had or will ever have. One reason He is so exciting to me is because He challenges me. He isn’t like a teacher who keeps saying, “Good, good” to everything I do. Instead, He says, “Good! Now try this.” What I’m asked to do always seems beyond my reach, but it isn’t.
Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. (Deut. 30:11)
While my personal relationship with Christ is exciting, my corporate relationship isn’t. In other words, I don’t feel my church challenges me the way Jesus does. Instead, I’m asked to do easy things I could do when I was six. I’m still dropping money in the offering basket, singing songs, and folding my hands to pray. Is that all there is?
I don’t think so. Anything becomes boring when it’s repetitive and disconnected from its purpose.
God Isn’t Boring
A few years ago, a friend of mine asked me to donate shoes to her missionary friend who works in a remote area of Africa. I gathered up shoes from my closet with no more thought than I give to any decluttering. Some time later, I received a photo (I can’t find it or I would share it) of the women wearing my shoes, so giddy with joy they were practically levitating. I sat at my computer and wept and wept. Giving shoes was suddenly anything but boring.
I was expecting my fourth child as a mother of three sons. At the time, I had a number of online friends who also had boys and only boys. One of them shared that she had prayed about the gender of the child she was expecting and her son then had a dream that she would have a girl. The ultrasound revealed that he was right. I decided to pray about my child’s gender, too. I knew I would be happy either way, but this time (for what I thought was for sure my last child), I wanted to know.
I prayed and opened my daily Bible to the date my ultrasound was scheduled. The passage for that day read:
Genesis 35:17 And as she was having great difficulty in childbirth, the midwife said to her, “Don’t despair, for you have another son.”
Now, I was pretty sure there wasn’t a passage in Scripture that said, “Guess what? You’re having a daughter!” But I was still so struck by the direct answer to my prayer that I believed come ultrasound day, I would learn that boy number four was joining our family.
The ultrasound technician confirmed what God had already told me through His Word.
That evening, I had arranged to go out for dinner with my Bible study friends to give them the news. They were dying to know and not long after we were seated, a family with four boys sat behind us. I just gestured to them and said that my family would look just like that. After my friends were sure that I wasn’t upset about not having a daughter, they began deciding what I should name our son.
I had given my three sons biblical names, so that made the decision easier for them. Names were written on a paper napkin and then the debate started. Finally, after much discussion, they told me his name ought to be Benjamin. As I considered this name, I thought about the Scripture God had given me predicting another son. When I got home, I read further in Genesis:
18 As she breathed her last—for she was dying—she named her son Ben-Oni. But his father named him Benjamin.
Of course, I hoped I wasn’t going to die in childbirth! But I knew that my son’s name would be Benjamin and that God had known him even before he was conceived.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5)
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
