I blogged about the book, The House That Cleans Itself, on Wonder Women and the great impact it had on my housekeeping and filing systems. Lately I’ve been wondering if the principles of the book can be applied to homeschool motivation. I think it can!
The most powerful idea in Mindy Starns Clark’s book for me was the idea of working with what is rather than what we wish it were (I love alliteration, don’t you?). This concept enabled me to let go of the idea that I would ever be a meticulous filer. Instead I worked with what I am, which is a file digger. By filing everything in broad categories into large Pendaflex files by time (most recent folders in front), I’ve been able to find things but haven’t had the stress of the massive to-file pile. I then used this notion to help me find a solution to the kids’ bathroom disaster.
My homeschool isn’t teaching itself yet, but I definitely have some ideas that could move it in that direction.
What I Wish
We were early morning homeschoolers
We could get all our school done before lunch
The kids would do more work independently
I had more energy at certain times than I do
Working With What Is
We start school later now to accommodate later bedtimes. The bonus is I get more morning time alone which is my optimal work time.
We do the fun stuff after lunch. The kids bug me to do it which motivates me to keep working into the afternoon.
I work with the kids on stuff they would otherwise resist on their own (that’s the joy of homeschooling, right?).
I quit scheduling anything for those times when I know I’ll be too tired and got rid of guilt.
Stop Fighting and Start Flourishing!
Making it Work for You
Start by making a list of the aspects of your school that have been very resistant to change. Next, imagine that those things won’t change (depressing, I know). Finally, decide what you can do to make your homeschool run more smoothly, despite those less-than-optimal students and teacher(s).
It may take a while for you to find satisfactory solutions, but the process will be much easier when you let go of those wishes and start working with what is.
P.S. This process works with personal goals, too! Give it a try and let me know what happens.
Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Thomas Edison have something in common besides being renowned for their genius: they all struggled in school. Their teachers thought them stupid, but most likely they were distracted by their own divergent thinking. Some of our students will also have a hard time focusing on their studies. What is a homeschool teacher to do?
Limit seat work. I don’t know how young boys survive in a traditional school setting, required to sit quietly at a desk for hours. This isn’t how God designed boys. Their brains have legs and most of them learn best by moving them. Kids who have difficulty with focus should spend more time pursuing their passions and less time in front of a workbook. Use a timer for work that must be done while seated.
Learn what they like to do. Observe what absorbs your child’s attention. Incorporate his interests into your studies. Your son likes video games? Find a library book on the subject, find educational video games, or help him learn how to create his own. Use his favorite activities as rewards for completing the less favorite.
Let them sweat it out. When my kids are having a hard time paying attention, I will have them do jumping jacks, sit ups, or push ups. Lest you think I’m a drill sergeant, you should know that my kids love doing these exercises. I recently purchased some exercise DVDs for kids that I will use for this purpose, too.
Lead them to a private place. Some children’s systems are so easily drawn in by other interesting things, that they need to be isolated for a while. Depending on how creative your child is in being distracted, you may need to sit near her until her work is done. Praise her when she is finished and admit that you also have a hard time staying focused sometimes.
Lecture no more. I can’t tell you how many times I lose my focus while listening to someone lecture. Our children are even less able to focus when there is nothing offered to capture their imaginations. Today’s homeschool teacher has so many incredible mediums for teaching: field trips, videos, audio books, music, drama, crafts, experiments, group exercises, guest teachers, cooking, board and video games, puzzles, puppets and more! The Internet makes the “I’m not creative” excuse invalid. Check out my Pinterest boards for inspiration. When you do have to lecture, stop frequently to ask questions and get kids involved.
Let it go. Strong-willed children can sense when something is overly important to us (like the language arts curriculum we just spent $200 on). They will experiment to see how we will respond if they insist they aren’t going to read that book or do their math lesson. Ever! While disobedience must be dealt with, your child won’t be harmed by taking a break from a subject or especially a curriculum. In the meantime, you may find a better solution that makes you both happy.
Listen for wisdom. Talk to homeschooling friends, other educators, and especially to the Lord about your distracted pupil. No doubt you will get a fresh perspective and will be comforted by tales of kids who couldn’t pay attention, going on to be productive citizens. Often when it comes to what our kids are doing or not doing in school, we can be like Martha, “worried about many things.” I imagine the mothers of Einstein, Newton, and Edison worried about them, too! But when our focus is right, the fear disappears.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this (Psalm 37:5)
My friend who will be homeschooling in the fall for the first time asked me this question. As that is one of the purposes of this entire site, it isn’t a question I can answer in one post. But I did have some thoughts!
Choose curriculum you love. If you love it, even if it’s not what everyone else is using, your enthusiasm for it will get you out of bed on those cold winter mornings. I plan to share curriculum that has kept me motivated, but for now, if you love what you’re using, you’re on the right track.
Be realistic in your homeschool planning. I told my friend to plan to teach about half of what she thinks she will. I made friends with another new homeschooler when she bemoaned that her 7-year-old son just wasn’t adopting her plan. I had such a good laugh with her about that. Our kids won’t adopt our plans if they aren’t based in reality. It’s not realistic to do every activity, every area of study, or every workbook page in a school year. It isn’t realistic to homeschool from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. either. I’d like to address this issue more in the future, but the best tip I can give you is to share your schedule and expectations with a veteran homeschooler (preferably one who knows you). If she laughs, you need to modify your plans.
Make it fun in the early years. One of the greatest benefits of homeschooling is not having to adopt institutional learning practices for young children. Some children love traditional workbooks, but many don’t. What my children (and I) remember most are the times we mummified brother, had a family version of the Olympics, and invited Uncle Steve over to share his slides on Africa. I look forward to sharing ideas for making learning fun in future posts.
Let children teach themselves. In recent years I have done more unschooling in the afternoons. As long as it was truly educational (Mario Kart doesn’t count), I let the kids explore their interests. As a result, the kids became origami experts and my 10-year-old shot and uploaded a video teaching kids paper crafts. I can only imagine the reaction I would have gotten had I assigned these projects! Aside from allowing your children to explore on their own, your curriculum plan should include plenty of materials that your kids can use on their own, especially once they are reading.
Take time to recharge. Being a homeschooling mother is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done, but when I had many young children, it was often the most exhausting and discouraging. I wouldn’t have made it without lots of answered prayer, the listening ear of my husband, the support of other homeschooling moms, and time to regroup. I’ve mentioned previously that at various times during the last 12 years, I have had a housekeeper and a regular babysitter. Having someone thoroughly clean my house once every two weeks made the mess a little less stressful. If you can’t afford hired help, perhaps you could find a friend to clean with. You’ll make quick work of it and you’ll have fun chatting at the same time. I also hired my niece to watch the kids for a few hours one afternoon a week. I used that time to shop without babies and even to have an early date with my husband. The expense was much less than a therapy session. 🙂
Remember that the days are short. I’ve had those days of constant interruptions and sibling bickering that follow sleepless nights when I’ve wondered how I would ever make it. Now I wonder why I ever worried. I look at pictures like the one featured with this post and I gasp at the privilege I have had of teaching these beautiful children. Get out your photo albums or watch a video and you’ll see how far you’ve come. You’ll be motivated to keep teaching. God bless you as you do.
The biggest thing going on with our family lately is our adventure into video ministry at church. Here's one of our latest offerings starring us! While we are working hard to develop our video talents, I must confess that the carving talent is NOT mine! I carved one pumpkin. The great looking jack-o-lanterns belong to my talented neighbor. 🙂
I thought I could do this last week, but the effort it took to keep all the balls in the air left no time to take Ali’s challenge as described in Aby Garvey’s blog. I was honestly thinking of bagging the whole thing and then I listened to a superb talk on helping children remember while I was working out this morning. I was practically in tears at the gym. That’s a danger of listening to podcasts I guess. The woman (the podcast never gave her name!) described journaling for herself as a Mom and for her children. I realized that the most precious memories I have are just slipping away from me.
So today, I am not only going to do a week in my life blog (which I will later turn into a scrapbook), but I am going to begin journaling. Yep, I’m busy! But that’s what I’ll want to read about later, right? Today’s big event was a homeschool trip to Incredible Pizza. I have never been to Homeschool Day at Incredible Pizza; therefore, fielding the incessant “What are we going to do there?” questions was a challenge. Turns out we learned science (one demonstration pictured above), creative writing, creative thinking, and math. That was all before we were allowed to play games which really messed with my two-year-old’s mind.
By the time we got to play and the money was gone, the poor little guy lost it. As he tried to break in to take another ride, I realized I could relate. We both needed a nap, but only one of us took one. Some cute things I want to remember from today are: E asking me how we were going to fit the money into the game card; B’s answer to my question of how to complete our creative story about a student cheating on a test. I said, “What kind of test was he cheating on?” B said, “An art test.”
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
