Stop Worrying; Start Homeschooling

Do you have worries that keep you from homeshooling? If so, you’ll want to listen to the first part of this article. Once you do, you’re ready to read worries 6-10.

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#6 The kids won’t listen to you

That’s a real worry. If your kids won’t obey you, you’re in trouble. You won’t be able to get them to do schoolwork, chores, or the things that will keep them safe and healthy. So how can you homeschool if your kids won’t listen to you? If that’s your worry, homeschooling isn’t the issue. If you send the kids to school and they won’t obey you, how will you get them to do schoolwork, chores, or the things that will keep them safe and healthy?

[READ WHAT IF MY KIDS WON’T LISTEN TO ME?]

At one time, school teachers were able to discipline students. That’s no longer the case. Teachers’ hands are often tied in even depriving students of privileges. If there are no consequences in the home either, kids may continue to be defiant and suffer the results of an undisciplined life. If you don’t discipline your child, no one else will.

If you worry that your kids won’t listen to you, you should worry! But only if you aren’t willing to change that immediately. Require obedience. If your kids openly refuse to do homework or chores, remove a privilege that matters. In the article I wrote on the top question parents ask me, I give you some ideas. But just to repeat, wait until your child asks for something — a snack, game time, a visit with a friend. The answer then is no. When your child asks why, explain that they didn’t obey. Let them pitch the biggest fit, but the answer is still no. You can switch the order for kids who aren’t openly defiant and refuse to grant privileges until the schoolwork or chore is done. Stop worrying that your kids won’t listen to you and start making discipine a key part of your homeschool today.

#7 My kids will be unhappy being homeschooled and will want to go to school

Let’s first discuss the worry that our children will be unhappy being homeschooled. I had this worry for years and it was completely unnecessary. Here’s why:

It’s normal for kids to be unhappy doing school. It’s normal like it is for adults to be unhappy going to work. Work is work! But kids and adults alike are unhappy in their free time too. We get bored doing the same things. It’s not as exciting as we would like it to be. But for some reason as homeschool moms we think our kids have to be Disney-World happy in their education all the time or we’re failing. Wrong.

My kids, like kids who go to public or private school, don’t like some aspects of school. They complain. They try to put it off. That makes them normal. It doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong. In fact, it means I’m doing something right. I am disciplining them in the habit of learning and studying. This is not to say that I don’t think learning should be fun. That’s a soap box for me and why I created Grammar Galaxy the way that I did. But discipline must accompany fun in a child’s education. Don’t worry if your child doesn’t like homeschooling. Ask children who go to traditional school if they like it. Most of them will look at you like you’re crazy and say no. You don’t have to frantically pursue fun classes and curriculum in an effort to make kids happy in their homeschooling. Most likely it won’t work anyway.

But what if the unhappiness gets so bad that your child wants to go to school? Listen to the podcast episode I did on this situation. I lived through my child wanting to go to school and actually attending public high school. I wrote about the unexpected positive results from that experience and interviewed my son for the podcast as well. He just graduated from college, by the way, and is starting his career in sales. We are so proud of him! My son’s desire to go to school was not because I failed in homeschooling him. In fact, he has said that he loved being homeschooled. It served him well until he needed the opportunities available to him in high school. None of my fears about him going to school were founded. That experience was one of my sons attending one school and I can’t generalize my experience to you. However, worry doesn’t serve any good purpose.

So my daughter, who will be a high school freshman, told me she was wanting to go to school. I dropped her off to shadow for the day and I wasn’t worried. I had had a good experience with the school with her brother. But I was sad. So much so that I prayed for peace. God gave that to me immediately. I felt at peace when my daughter said she had made the decision to start high school there in the fall. A few weeks ago, though, she told me she had changed her mind and wanted to continue homeschooling. I immediately realized what a waste my anxiety and upset would have been. No wonder the Lord immediately gave me peace. Stop worrying about your child being unhappy and start homeschooling.

#8 Your kids won’t have enough friends as homeschoolers

I have to admit that I’ve worried about this a lot. At the beginning of my homechool journey, all my homeschooling friends had girls and only girls while I had boys. I worried that they would have no male friends. Years later my homeschooling friends all had boys and there were few girls for my daughter to be friends with. I worried that we wouldn’t know where to make friends. Then a P.E. class led to friendships that led to a co-op in my home. Then those kids graduated, moved, or quit homeschooling, and I worried that my younger kids would have no friends. And I haven’t been alone in this worrying. My husband is an extreme extrovert and worries when the kids don’t have as many homeschooled friends as he thinks they should. He has wondered if the kids would be better off in school.

If you share this worry, let me share some things to reassure you. God knows our kids need friends. He promises to meet all their needs. If He is calling you to homeschool, He will provide your children with friends. These are some of the ways God has provided friends for my children: new neighbors with kids, Sunday school, youth group, sports, homeschool classes, reaching out to our local homeschool group, online friendships with my friends’ kids, and jobs.

If you’re saying BUT right now, I get it. I’ve been in a place where my kids hadn’t made friends in these ways, or more specifically what I considered to be enough friends. I’ve had the opportunity to see my adult introverted son’s friendships develop. Until he was a teen, he had very few friends of his own. Most of them were his brothers’ friends. Now that he is in college, I am amazed by the number of friends he has. What’s interesting is that he never once complained about having too few friends. Nor was he affected negatively because he didn’t have dozens of friends as a kid. If your child has a close friend or two and is happy, you do not have anything to worry about.

If your child wants more friends, I recommend praying together first. Then look for them in one of the ways I mentioned previously. Be patient. Friendships take time to develop. Stop worrying about your child’s friendships and start homeschooling.

#9 Your finances may not allow you to homeschool in the future

Worrying about what-ifs robs us of joy and opportunities now. Early in our marriage, my husband’s fellow sales reps told him that the company he worked for was on the verge of being sold, meaning he would be out of a job. We worried about it. If that happened, we worried about paying our mortgage and me not working. We worried about it for 15 years when the prediction finally came to fruition. The company was sold and my husband was out of a job. But within a week, he had another job that was far better than the one he’d worried about keeping all those years.

This is not to say that we won’t have a time that we have to work and homeschool or even give up our homeschooling because of finances. But worrying about it now will make homeschooling miserable. I know many homeschooling moms who have homeschooled their children on a modest, single income. They didn’t have all the luxuries we are told are musts, but they had the precious experience of teaching their children at home. Homeschooling can be very inexpensive and it is possible to earn an income while you teach. So stop worrying about finances and start homeschooling.

#10 Homeschool haters

The final worry I’ll discuss is about homeschool haters. I did a podcast episode on handling them that I recommend to you. If we worry about people who aren’t supportive of our homeschooling, we give them power. They feel emboldened to continue attacking our choice. Protect yourself legally. I recommend joining HSLDA. Follow your state’s law to the letter. Then kindly set boundaries with people who attempt to interfere with your family’s choice to homeschool.

If you persist in attempting to win a hater over, you’ll likely continue to worry. I have heard from my listeners about family members who continue to hate on homeschooling even after their children have graduated and are successful in a career. If our happiness in homeschooling depends on pleasing anyone else, our happiness won’t last for long. Appeal to the Lord for protection from those who would give you grief. Then stop worrying about homeschool haters and start homeschooling.

Conclusion

No good comes from worrying. Use the time and energy you are spending on worrying to get on with the business of homeschooling! If you need help with worry in general, listen to the podcast episode called Help for Anxious Homeschoolers.

Which of these five worries has been the biggest problem for you? Comment and let me know.