A key to successful homeschooling is managing how you spend your time. After twelve years of teaching my children at home, I am still working to better manage my time.
I began using Managers of Their Homes years ago which enabled me to think of time in terms of half-hour increments. This scheduling approach also helped me to see that every subject and activity didn’t have to be done every day. I still have a schedule that I follow loosely as follows:
6:00 a.m. Up and workout while listening to sermons on iPhone
7:00 a.m. Devotional time
7:30 a.m. Set out breakfast and get kids up while I shower
8:00 a.m. Family devotions; morning chores
8:30 a.m. School time
12:00 p.m. Lunch and break
1:00 – 3:00 p.m. School subjects not completed; outside classes; mom’s to do’s; weekly chores
3:00 p.m.-5:00 p.m. Snack and continue with previous
5:00 p.m. Dinner preparation
6:00 p.m. Dinner
7:00 p.m. Evening chores and family time
9:00 p.m. Bedtime routines
10:00 p.m. Reading, time with husband
11:00 p.m. Lights out
The foregoing is our schedule on a VERY good day. We tend to be night owls here, so if we don’t get to bed on time, everything is pushed back in the morning. I have found that I resist regimented schedules and that routines work even better for me. I began establishing good routines years ago when I started getting FLYLady‘s emails. Today I use the well-designed HomeRoutines app on my iPhone. It helps me tremendously to have a reminder of all the subjects I want to teach. My goal, though, is not to complete every single step of every routine I have. If it were, I would be disappointed every day. My goal is to get an A for the day and to get most (90%) of those routines completed on most days.
I have also had periods in my homeschooling when I didn’t have much of a schedule. One advantage was not feeling obligated, but free to enjoy teaching. Another was that I was better able to work around my work-at-home husband’s more spontaneous style. A disadvantage was making less progress in important subjects, and finding myself spending too much time online.
As you determine the scheduling approach that will work best for you and your family, consider what you believe about time in general. After reading this excellent article on a Christian approach to time management, I was motivated to ask myself some important questions about how I am spending my time–schooling or otherwise. The article advises tracking how you spend your time. After having done this numerous times on paper and via a variety of iPhone apps, I already know how I spend my time. I quickly made a list of all my activities. Then I answered these questions for each of them:
“What would happen if this were not done at all?” And if the answer is, “Nothing would happen,” then obviously the conclusion is to stop doing it.
Which of the activities on my time log could be done by someone else just as well, if not better?
What do I do that wastes your time without contributing to your effectiveness?
The answers were very revealing. Now I will explain why I have a picture of Dr. Phil at the top of this post. Were you wondering? Dr. Phil, in discussing dysfunctional behaviors with guests, is fond of asking, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” I understand what he’s getting at. He is trying to help people recognize that they are experiencing negative effects of bad choices. But here’s the problem with that question. If you have to ask the question, it must still be working for them. They’re still getting something out of overeating, the procrastination, and the refusal to communicate or they wouldn’t keep doing it.
You may still be confused. The last question I asked myself about each activity I invest time in really brought me up short. “What do I do that wastes your time without contributing to your effectiveness?” This question was obviously designed for people in a traditional workplace. But as homeschoolers, we don’t have bosses or administrations. Or do we? I realized that all that I have, including my children and my time, are God’s. He has given me the job of educating His children. I had to answer the difficult question of what I am doing to waste His time without contributing to His overall effectiveness. It became clear to me that I couldn’t figure out a good schedule for our homeschool without reflecting on God’s goals for my children.
Here’s the connection. I might think that web surfing for hours while my children play video games is workin’ just fine for me, but there is no way I can think it’s workin’ well for His purposes for me and my family. As you seek to create or recreate your homeschool schedule, pray about how God would use your family to increase His effectiveness.
He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, (2 Tim. 1:9)
I really believe that I have tried absolutely everything to get my kids doing chores thoroughly and independently. I have tried every conceivable chore chart: refrigerator, printed, spur-of-the-moment, elaborate peg boards, computer, iPad, clip-on. My current system is an improvement over the past. However, the main reason chores aren’t as much of a problem today is because my youngest is almost six. Everyone can do every chore (especially with help).
My current system is a simple table created in Word, listing morning and evening chores for each child for each day of the week. Every chore rotates to each child and even to mom or dad. Chores include clearing and wiping the table and counters, unloading the dishwasher, loading the dishwasher, cleaning various bathrooms, taking care of the dog, helping with meals, and picking up various rooms. Chores everyone has to do daily (e.g., make your bed) are not listed on the chart, nor are weekly individual chores (e.g., vacuuming). I use another list for the latter.
People with smaller, non-homeschooling families often marvel at our chore chart which is posted on the refrigerator. I wish they wouldn’t, because frankly our chore chart doesn’t work. Sure, it works better than anything else has, but in my mind, it’s still a complete failure. For example, when it’s my turn to clean the bathroom, it’s clear it hasn’t been cleaned all week, despite cheerful proclamations by my kids that they’ve done it. When it comes to evening chores, we all take turns not doing them. Don’t get me wrong. We have co-op meet in our house each week and lots of company, so our house gets cleaned. But not as quickly or as peacefully as it should be.
I was listening to a promo for Dr. Randy Carlson’s program, Intentional Living, when a mom complained that she couldn’t get her kids to clean their rooms, despite all of her nagging. She said she usually just broke down and cleaned their rooms because it was her house and she wanted it clean. Dr. Randy said (and I’m paraphrasing), “So essentially you’ve trained your kids to believe that they have a really crabby maid.” LOL! Wow, that sounds familiar, only I’ve also trained my kids that they have a really crabby mom. I spend lots of time complaining about the kids not doing their chores or doing them really poorly. Then I become the drill sergeant who insists that they get them done NOW.
So yesterday for the 8,000th time, I sat before the Lord really, really frustrated about chores. Sure, I knew I needed to check their chores. I knew it was all my fault. But knowing this had never solved the problem. In the movie, Courageous, a father tells his pastor, “I just wanna know how to be a good dad.” That’s what I said to the Lord yesterday. Lord, I just want to know how to be a good mom. I really want to solve this chore challenge. If you tell me what to do, I will do it.
Honestly, I expected God to tell me that I was lazy and selfish and I would have agreed! Instead, he surprised me with an insight that has completely changed the way I am approaching chores and character, too! Here it is: Approach chores the same way you approach teaching any other school subject. Well, that seems rather obvious, doesn’t it? But not to me. Whereas, I would never tell my kids how to write an essay once or twice and then expect that they would have it down; and whereas, I would never get mad at my kids for making mistakes in math; and whereas, I would never fail to check my kids’ schoolwork, allowing them to go for days on end without doing their lessons, I was doing all of those things with chores. Being the chore checker was a job I dreaded and resented, while being a teacher is a job I treasure and enjoy. I am now my kids’ chore teacher!
The difference that role change makes for me is huge. I now check my children’s chores because I want to see if they understand what to do, not because it’s one more responsibility on my shoulders. I am praising them for getting so much of it right, rather than criticizing them for what they still don’t know. I am teaching them to make meals to mastery, rather than asking them to do cooking tasks haphazardly. I am also accepting that many of my children are still years away from working completely independently.
What I marvel at is how this huge mental shift occurred as an answer to prayer. What a wonderful teacher is our God, who is so patient and positive with a mom like me. Maybe you need a different approach to the challenge of chores. I know Who you can ask to tutor you.
The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promoteinstruction. (Proverbs 16:21)
Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Thomas Edison have something in common besides being renowned for their genius: they all struggled in school. Their teachers thought them stupid, but most likely they were distracted by their own divergent thinking. Some of our students will also have a hard time focusing on their studies. What is a homeschool teacher to do?
Limit seat work. I don’t know how young boys survive in a traditional school setting, required to sit quietly at a desk for hours. This isn’t how God designed boys. Their brains have legs and most of them learn best by moving them. Kids who have difficulty with focus should spend more time pursuing their passions and less time in front of a workbook. Use a timer for work that must be done while seated.
Learn what they like to do. Observe what absorbs your child’s attention. Incorporate his interests into your studies. Your son likes video games? Find a library book on the subject, find educational video games, or help him learn how to create his own. Use his favorite activities as rewards for completing the less favorite.
Let them sweat it out. When my kids are having a hard time paying attention, I will have them do jumping jacks, sit ups, or push ups. Lest you think I’m a drill sergeant, you should know that my kids love doing these exercises. I recently purchased some exercise DVDs for kids that I will use for this purpose, too.
Lead them to a private place. Some children’s systems are so easily drawn in by other interesting things, that they need to be isolated for a while. Depending on how creative your child is in being distracted, you may need to sit near her until her work is done. Praise her when she is finished and admit that you also have a hard time staying focused sometimes.
Lecture no more. I can’t tell you how many times I lose my focus while listening to someone lecture. Our children are even less able to focus when there is nothing offered to capture their imaginations. Today’s homeschool teacher has so many incredible mediums for teaching: field trips, videos, audio books, music, drama, crafts, experiments, group exercises, guest teachers, cooking, board and video games, puzzles, puppets and more! The Internet makes the “I’m not creative” excuse invalid. Check out my Pinterest boards for inspiration. When you do have to lecture, stop frequently to ask questions and get kids involved.
Let it go. Strong-willed children can sense when something is overly important to us (like the language arts curriculum we just spent $200 on). They will experiment to see how we will respond if they insist they aren’t going to read that book or do their math lesson. Ever! While disobedience must be dealt with, your child won’t be harmed by taking a break from a subject or especially a curriculum. In the meantime, you may find a better solution that makes you both happy.
Listen for wisdom. Talk to homeschooling friends, other educators, and especially to the Lord about your distracted pupil. No doubt you will get a fresh perspective and will be comforted by tales of kids who couldn’t pay attention, going on to be productive citizens. Often when it comes to what our kids are doing or not doing in school, we can be like Martha, “worried about many things.” I imagine the mothers of Einstein, Newton, and Edison worried about them, too! But when our focus is right, the fear disappears.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this (Psalm 37:5)
My friend who will be homeschooling in the fall for the first time asked me this question. As that is one of the purposes of this entire site, it isn’t a question I can answer in one post. But I did have some thoughts!
Choose curriculum you love. If you love it, even if it’s not what everyone else is using, your enthusiasm for it will get you out of bed on those cold winter mornings. I plan to share curriculum that has kept me motivated, but for now, if you love what you’re using, you’re on the right track.
Be realistic in your homeschool planning. I told my friend to plan to teach about half of what she thinks she will. I made friends with another new homeschooler when she bemoaned that her 7-year-old son just wasn’t adopting her plan. I had such a good laugh with her about that. Our kids won’t adopt our plans if they aren’t based in reality. It’s not realistic to do every activity, every area of study, or every workbook page in a school year. It isn’t realistic to homeschool from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. either. I’d like to address this issue more in the future, but the best tip I can give you is to share your schedule and expectations with a veteran homeschooler (preferably one who knows you). If she laughs, you need to modify your plans.
Make it fun in the early years. One of the greatest benefits of homeschooling is not having to adopt institutional learning practices for young children. Some children love traditional workbooks, but many don’t. What my children (and I) remember most are the times we mummified brother, had a family version of the Olympics, and invited Uncle Steve over to share his slides on Africa. I look forward to sharing ideas for making learning fun in future posts.
Let children teach themselves. In recent years I have done more unschooling in the afternoons. As long as it was truly educational (Mario Kart doesn’t count), I let the kids explore their interests. As a result, the kids became origami experts and my 10-year-old shot and uploaded a video teaching kids paper crafts. I can only imagine the reaction I would have gotten had I assigned these projects! Aside from allowing your children to explore on their own, your curriculum plan should include plenty of materials that your kids can use on their own, especially once they are reading.
Take time to recharge. Being a homeschooling mother is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done, but when I had many young children, it was often the most exhausting and discouraging. I wouldn’t have made it without lots of answered prayer, the listening ear of my husband, the support of other homeschooling moms, and time to regroup. I’ve mentioned previously that at various times during the last 12 years, I have had a housekeeper and a regular babysitter. Having someone thoroughly clean my house once every two weeks made the mess a little less stressful. If you can’t afford hired help, perhaps you could find a friend to clean with. You’ll make quick work of it and you’ll have fun chatting at the same time. I also hired my niece to watch the kids for a few hours one afternoon a week. I used that time to shop without babies and even to have an early date with my husband. The expense was much less than a therapy session. 🙂
Remember that the days are short. I’ve had those days of constant interruptions and sibling bickering that follow sleepless nights when I’ve wondered how I would ever make it. Now I wonder why I ever worried. I look at pictures like the one featured with this post and I gasp at the privilege I have had of teaching these beautiful children. Get out your photo albums or watch a video and you’ll see how far you’ve come. You’ll be motivated to keep teaching. God bless you as you do.
I have a friend who will begin her homeschooling journey this fall. She has been asking some excellent questions like this one: how do you homeschool with toddlers and newborns? I homeschooled for nine years with toddlers and newborns and while I didn’t do a perfect job of it, I do have some things to share.
The first and most important way to homeschool with little ones is to reign in your expectations. In this regard, I had an advantage because I had never homeschooled WITHOUT toddlers and newborns in my home. If I had, I probably would have been tearing my hair out! As it was, it was all I knew. If you are picturing school at home rather than a home that is a school, you will end up frustrated. Babies and toddlers aren’t allowed at traditional schools. It’s impossible to create the same quiet, orderly atmosphere at home as a classroom teacher can when you have little ones. But that doesn’t mean your homeschool is inferior!
Recognize that there are advantages to having babies and toddlers in your homeschool. They aren’t an interruption in your school day; they are the reason you are teaching. Having older children experience young children is a part of their education. I taught a college developmental psychology course and had to ask the students to find a way to spend time with young children. The sad fact is that in our lower birthrate, age-segregated society, having a lot of experience with young children is rare. Younger siblings teach your older children to be gentle, patient, and less self-absorbed. The olders learn how to teach the youngers. The youngers learn from their siblings and listen in as you teach the olders.
Homeschool in the most baby-friendly area of your home. The last thing you need to worry about is the littles getting hurt while you’re explaining long division to junior. The room I used as our primary school room was attached to our playroom. I allowed the youngers to move from room to room as they chose. Lower shelves in our school room had toddler-friendly books and toys. Consider having a box of school time toys that are only available at set times.
Buy your toddlers the same workbooks as their siblings. David Hazell of My Father’s World does an excellent talk on the subject of occupying toddlers. One of his best suggestions has to do with the fact that we homeschoolers buy all kinds of new school goodies for our elementary kids every fall and nothing for the toddlers. David calls this “Christmas Without Me.” He recommends buying identical workbooks even if it costs you a little dough. The peace you get in return is well worth it!
Schedule projects that aren’t baby-friendly during nap time. I spent lots of time reading to my older kids while nursing babies. When it came time to do the timed science experiments, the baking, or the obstacle course races, I made sure the little guys were sleeping. Does that always work? Nope! Some days there is no nap. That’s when you reign in your expectations. Tomorrow is another day.
Schedule play dates with other homeschooling moms with young kids. You’ll discover you’re not alone and your friends will help you reign in those expectations. For several years, I participated in a Bible study with other moms while a teen watched our youngsters. A Mothers of Preschoolers group is another great way to connect with moms in the trenches.
Make sure you have “me” time. When I had lots of little ones, I had a housekeeper come in twice a month. I also had my niece watch the kids for me a couple of hours every week. Occasionally, I would use that respite time to go on dates with my husband. It helped me enormously! If you can’t afford these options, swap babysitting duties with a friend or clean together. I’ve used these approaches, too. Having some time away isn’t selfish; it helps you to be a better mom and wife.
Remember that this is a short season. Even though I had nine years’ worth of little ones in my homeschool, it flew by. Now I wonder why I had such a fit about all the books being pulled off the shelves, the toys scattered everywhere, and the lessons we didn’t finish. These are precious days. Enjoy learning together.
Do you have any other suggestions for homeschooling with babies and toddlers? Join the conversation at Homeschool Sanity on Facebook.
I was reading some blog comments about homeschooling today that really got my goat. I realized that I consistently hear people propagating myths about homeschooling that I would like to dispel.
Homeschooled kids don't have social skills. This myth is the most pervasive and for me, the most upsetting. This notion presupposes that the only way we get social skills is by spending most of the day in an institution where we are largely required to listen and not speak. What we are free to do in these institutions is to fend for ourselves when the bullies come to call. I don't know about you, but in my adult life, I am allowed to talk with people for most of the day and I haven't been beat up since I was 11. The truth is that homeschoolers have more opportunities to develop mature social skills than traditionally schooled students and fewer opportunities to develop immature skills like how to speak to adults disrespectfully.
Homeschoolers are disadvantaged academically. I have had people seriously worry about how my children are going to do on college admission tests and get accepted to the best schools. These issues aren't my primary concern, first of all. I want my children to have a good education, but more importantly, I want them to have a good character. While there are a few opportunities not available to homeschoolers, it's actually the case that traditionally schooled students suffer the disadvantage. Homeschoolers have all day long to study, go on fascinating field trips, and be apprentices while their peers are in school. Test scores suggest that homeschooling is an incredible academic advantage. More and more, top colleges are looking to admit them.
You have to be really organized and patient to homeschool. What's interesting to me is that I've never heard anyone say that to a classroom teacher. Why is that? The truth is that there are disorganized, impatient homeschoolers just as there are classroom teachers. But it's also true that homeschooling teaches you to be more organized and more patient than you would be if you sent your children away to school all week. The corollary to this notion is this question: how can you teach SIX children? I answer: how can a classroom teacher teach TWENTY FIVE?
Homeschoolers should have to be more accountable to the state. First let me say that while there are homeschoolers who neglect or abuse their children, the overwhelming majority do not. If you don't enjoy your children, you are more likely to send them away to school for the better part of the day than to keep them home with you. Child abuse and neglect are a part of many traditionally schooled students lives, too. Are we doing enough to adequately protect them? Is homeschooling really a primary risk factor? Many times I hear people clamoring for more testing of homeschoolers. Remember that homeschoolers score four grade levels ahead of public schoolers and then think about what the state would do with more testing data. Even if you have a learning disabled child who is working at the maximum of his ability because of homeschooling, the state could use a low test score to require that he be sent to public school. If testing can be used this way for homeschoolers, it would have to be used this way for private schools. The application of such a policy for public schools implies that when their students score poorly on a test, the parents ought to be able to demand a private education or funds to homeschool him. Because I don't see that happening, I don't want mandatory testing of my students.
Homeschooling is an expensive, elitist education. Recent research suggests that student achievement is not related to how much parents spend for their children's home education. I have several friends whose income is lower middle class and who successfully home educate. One does not have a home computer. The number of free resources available today is staggering. More and more, African American families are choosing to home educate, too.
Homeschoolers are weird. This one is the most true of all of the myths I've listed. Homeschoolers are engaging in a counter-cultural activity, so of course they're weird. I know homeschoolers who are weird in other ways. There's no denying it. However, homeschoolers haven't cornered the market on weird. I know very weird private and public school families, too. Don't you?
I understand if homeschooling isn't for you. But please don't perpetuate the myths that could keep families who would benefit from home educating from giving it a try.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
