Maybe, like me, you have so many reasons to be joyful, but it seems that someone or something seems to run off with this spiritual treasure. What can we do to stop 'em from stealing our joy?
Quit doing business with them. In our local news lately have been reports of home invasions that strike fear in the hearts of neighbors. The fact that the criminals were doing business with the victim makes everyone feel a little bit more at ease. We can feel safer emotionally by choosing not to do business with people who attack us verbally or physically or who only make emotional withdrawals, never deposits.
Claim your right to the joy. Some theft victims are reluctant to press charges because they feel guilty for having so much. We are never to feel guilt for having joy, even if others are depressed. We may not be able to share our joy, but we can share its Source.
Stop stealing from yourself. I've had my share of things stolen, but I've robbed myself of more than any thief has. I haven't taken care of my belongings and they've been misplaced or destroyed. In the same way, we can steal our own joy by not taking care of ourselves. Joy is harder to come by when we don't have optimal sleep, nutrition, or exercise.
Use a security system. Most of the times I've been robbed have been when I've left a car door unlocked or left my valuables in plain sight. We don't have to hide from others to keep our joy, but we do need a security system. God's Word is not only an inexhaustible source of joy, but it's a weapon we can use to ward off the lies the con men use to get access to our treasure. The Bible is the best security system there is, but even it won't be effective if we keep letting the thieves in the door through the media we take in.
Have you found any other ways of keeping your joy, short of gun ownership? 😉
You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. (Hebrews 10:34)
Tonight I watched Game 6 of the World Series in which Cardinals player, David Freese, dropped an easy pop fly that one of my kids could have caught. He choked. In front of an audience of millions.
My heart went out to him. I've been there. Almost literally! I was a catcher in a girls' softball championship tournament and dropped an easy pop fly. I think more than once! Fortunately I don't remember that little detail. But I'll never forget the sick feeling in my stomach, the shame, and the self-loathing.
The game (in case you weren't watching) looked like a sure loss for the Cardinals because David Freese's wasn't the only error. My husband was practically snoring in the ninth inning. We both thought, "We messed up; it's over."
But miracle of miracles, the Cardinals' hopes were resuscitated with a last-minute hit from none other than David Freese. Much too soon, that hit seemed for naught because once again the rival Rangers were up two runs. We figured we had a nice rally, but the night would end in defeat. Instead, in extra innings, home boy David Freese hit a home run to end the game.
Suddenly, David who we expected to be despised and dejected when the game was over, was heralded as a champion. When he was interviewed afterward, David was able to laugh about "looking like an idiot" because he had been redeemed. He explained the Cardinals' unlikely victory by crediting his coach, Tony LaRussa. David said, "He knows what he's doing."
What a thrill this game was, not just because it was a nail biter and my team won, but because we saw our lives being played out on that field. We're all chokers like David. While we expect to be despised and rejected for looking like idiots, we'll be redeemed champions when the game's over. After all, we have a Coach who "knows what He's doing."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:37)
Like you, I’ve been hurt many, many times. While the scrapes, burns, and injuries are soon forgotten, the emotional hurts can fester for years. I have not become perfectly proficient in healing relationship wounds, but I have learned a few things professionally and personally. Perhaps one of these “bandages” will help you handle hurt, too.
Admit you’re hurt. Denying that someone hurt you makes it more likely that you will act out and hurt yourself or someone else. Even if you don’t have the courage to tell the person who hurt you, acknowledge the pain and tell someone you trust.
Get it out. Like thorns in the flesh, emotional wounds that aren’t removed can infect us, destroying our health. I’ve found the best ways to get it out are to write it out, talk it out, and cry it out.
Look for the root. Seeking to understand the real cause of the hurt can help you heal. Most of the time we’re either being overly sensitive or the perpetrator is acting out of her own pain. Often what was said or done isn’t about us. Understanding doesn’t excuse wrong behavior, but enables us to get over it more quickly.
Don’t take it too seriously. Some of the things people say and do that are hurtful are quite comical when you look at them a different way. My master’s research was on laughter’s impact on pain perception. Humor helps physical pain, but it’s a great analgesic for relationship hurts, too.
Don’t pick at the wound. Once we’ve shared our heart with a trusted confidante, continuing to talk about the painful words or behavior is like reopening a scab. Commit to leaving it alone so it will heal.
Exchange your hope. We may find ourselves hoping that the perpetrator will finally understand how they’ve hurt us and will express their deep regret for doing so. That kind of hope leaves our wounds open to infection. Instead, hope in the God who allowed the situation so He could work it for your good and His glory.
Pray for the one who hurt you. The most healing prayer is not that the perpetrator will be hit by a speeding bus! Instead, pray that the Lord would heal her and forgive her so she will not hurt herself or others anymore. Of course, as we pray we recognize that we have inadvertently hurt others, too. Thank God for His mercy and forgiveness.
If none of these help, email me. My husband is a black belt in ju jitsu and he would be happy to beat up the person who hurt your feelings. Hope that made you smile. 🙂
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)
I've experienced a disappointment this week, but DINO — Discouragement Is Not an Option. Why should you and I have Dino-like joy in spite of disappointment?
Disappointments create endurance. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2)
Disappointments create patience.being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, (Colossians 1:11)
Disappointments create understanding of the Scriptures. For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. (Romans 15:4)
Disappointments create empathy. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Cor. 1:3-4)
Disappointments create faith.Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:11-12)
Disappointments create hope.Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” (Isaiah 49:23b)
Disappointments create kinship with Christ.For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. (2 Cor. 1:5)
Disappointments create greater glory. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (1 Peter 1:6-7)
I was in my third month of expecting my fourth child when I had a very disturbing dream. I dreamt that I miscarried in very vivid detail. I remember looking in the mirror the morning after, feeling satisfied that all was well. I had seen my doctor several weeks before and he said I was fine.
A short time later, however, that dream came true. How good of God to prepare me for one of the toughest times of my life using a dream. The OB on call reassured me that bleeding could be perfectly normal, but in my heart of hearts, I knew it wasn’t. Not for me. At the hospital, the ultrasound technician confirmed that my baby had stopped growing four weeks previously. There was nothing to do but go home and wait for the loss to be complete. I didn’t feel comfortable doing anything surgically. I had driven myself to the hospital and my husband had met me after we got someone to watch the kids. I felt completely alone when I got behind the wheel and turned on the radio. The lyrics playing on my favorite Christian radio station were, “When you feel like you’ve lost it all, Jesus will still be there.”
I was comforted and really thought that knowing for sure I had lost a baby would be the worst of it. It wasn’t. The next several weeks brought excruciating pain as I miscarried at home alone, a hormonal roller coaster that made PMS seem refreshing, and painful questions about God, relationships, and the future. Even while in the middle of the valley, I knew that I was there for a reason. I called my editor and asked to write a pamphlet for Lutheran Hour Ministries called “Losing a Baby Without Losing Hope.” My experience and the process of writing opened my heart to so many women I knew who had miscarried. I even called a friend who lost a baby years before and apologized for not being as sensitive as I should have been.
One of the recommendations I made in the pamphlet was to find a way to memorialize the baby. I knew I wanted a Christmas ornament, but I hadn’t yet chosen one when I spoke at a church on the subject of grief and loss. (As an aside, that speech happened to be scheduled the day after 9/11.) I was given a gift as a presenter–an angel ornament. I am comforted looking at that ornament every year as I decorate the tree, but I really look forward to seeing my angel in heaven one day.
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
