No, I don’t suppose God looks like Clark Gable. But I do believe that our God isn’t just an Officer of the law, but a Gentleman of grace as well.
A few weeks ago, I was driving to my tennis match in a downpour. It seems that our habitat has evolved into a rain forest with as much rain as we have gotten lately. I hastily prayed, “Lord, it would be so wonderful to get a close parking space and for the rain to stop so I don’t get drenched on my way in.”
Now, I realize that there are plenty of you who believe that I was bothering God with my petty concerns. I will admit that my concern with entering the tennis club looking like a drowned raccoon with mascara running is petty. But I won’t admit that I was bothering God.
I have a single friend who was having car trouble one night. She prayed, “Lord, you are my husband. Husbands fix cars. Please fix this car!” The result was that she was able to get her car running again. I was thinking about her when I prayed my no-rain-great-parking-spot prayer. Although I am married, my husband wasn’t with me. If he had been, he would have dropped me off at the door!
After praying, I pulled into the lot and found the spot next to the handicap spaces open and waiting for me. That never happens! I typically walk blocks! Then the rain slowed to an intermittent drip as I left my car.
God is a Gentleman who loves to meet our every need. Today our niece got married. All week the big fear has been that it would rain during the afternoon pictures and evening indoor/outdoor reception as that was the forecast. I honestly wasn’t surprised that today is sunny and beautiful. I know people like me get criticized for praying for no rain because of the proverbial farmer who is praying in opposition to me. I felt very confident with all the flooding that NO farmers were praying for rain!
I have been exercising regularly for over 20 years now. The habit didn’t come easily to me, but I am very thankful for it. I don’t believe I could homeschool six children without the energy, stress relief, and better health I gain as a result of working out. If you would like to develop the exercise habit (and I hope you do!), here are my best tips for making it happen.
Associate with people who exercise. I list this first because I believe this is arguably the main reason this naturally sedentary person has become a faithful exerciser. I married a workout fanatic. Deep down I hoped that his habit would rub off on me and it did. I just didn’t realize that he would often rub me the wrong way in the process! If you didn’t marry an exerciser, you can still gain the power of peer pressure. While encouraging a friend who doesn’t exercise to join you for a walk or workout is a great idea, it’s an even better one to buddy up with someone who already gets moving week in and week out. I currently benefit from knowing that friends who exercise are going to ask me if I’ve been doing my latest workout.
Arrange to work out at the best time of day. I have exercised faithfully at every time of day during various seasons of my life. Currently, I exercise first thing in the morning. I find that moving early wakes me up, removes the need for more than one shower, and prevents interference. But I don’t believe the first thing in the morning is the ONLY time that works. I’ve also split my workouts into two daily sessions and that worked, too.
Anticipate your inner slug. I know exactly what the lazy me is going to do and say when I’m tired, cold, and cranky. So I make it easy for her. I make sure my workout space is clear (I currently work out at home) before I go to bed. I have my tennis shoes and socks waiting for me right outside my bathroom. I used to have my exercise attire folded and ready to go, too. Now because I can be really, really stubborn, I have made it even easier to get moving. I wear my exercise clothes as pajamas! If the thought of sleeping in a sports bra gives you nightmares, you could always leave your bra with your shoes. If I still don’t want to work out when I get up, I have to take off my workout clothes which is a little like driving to the gym and then going home; it’s silly. Sometimes the lazy me is really insistent. In those cases, I imagine how I will feel later in the day after skipping my workout. If the whiner still carries on about it, I give her permission to do as little of the workout as she wants as long as she starts.
Agree to make it fun. I honestly understand why so many of us struggle to make regular exercise a part of our lives. Our ancestors got all the activity they needed as part of their work. The activity was always purposeful. Women beat rugs, kneaded bread, and walked everywhere. Now we ask women to pedal bikes that don’t go anywhere, walk on treadmills like caged hamsters, and repeatedly lift weights that don’t need to be put away. If you can get your exercise doing meaningful work instead, by all means, do it! But most of us are going to have to find ways to give meaningless activity some purpose. Some things that have worked for me are working out with a friend (the time flies as we talk), working out with my kids (I love to teach anything!), participating in a challenge or competition (I did Body for Life for 12 weeks), playing a sport (tennis), and mixing it with entertainment (listening to audiobooks or reading that I only do while exercising). There are so many great options for exercising today and you don’t have to stick with just one! Keep trying activities until you find something you enjoy.
What tips and tricks have you found that motivate you to exercise?
No, I’m not suggesting that the church begin selling computers and mobile devices or relocate to malls (although the latter isn’t necessarily a bad idea). What I AM suggesting is:
– The church should be packed with people because it offers what they want. I went to the Apple store yesterday to have my son’s iPod repaired and there were people in every square foot of the store. It was so crowded, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get in. The church, on the other hand, has seen a steady decline in numbers. Is it because the church no longer offers what the people want? Yes, in my opinion. We still have what the people NEED, but we offer it in a package that fewer and fewer want.
– The church should be successful because of the great advertising done on its behalf. Apple does ads with promotions like, “This changes everything.” Churches advertise with slogans like “Turn to Jesus today.” Imagine if the iPhone’s slogan was simply, “Buy an iPhone.” A good case can be made for the church being unable to afford media advertising, but no such argument can be made for the more powerful word-of-mouth advertising. Too often, Christians give the unappealing prompt to unchurched friends, “You should come to my church.” Our churches could be full if our members were sharing, “Jesus changes everything” and then proceeded to explain how.
– The church should be user-friendly. I was so intimidated by the crowd at the store that I would have made a quick exit, had I not quickly been greeted by someone asking to help. Church greeters typically say hello. If they recognize someone as a visitor, more direction might be given. But what if everyone were greeted with, “How may I help you this morning?” My name was noted and an appointment made for me. In that throng of people, I was recognized as an important person. In our larger churches, how often have people entered as a visitor and left feeling more alone than when they arrived? Or how often has a church member left disappointed that no one asked how they were doing? I was told exactly where to go for my appointment so I didn’t feel foolish. Many church visitors aren’t offered the same clear direction.
– The church should offer grace in response to clear teaching about sin. I wasn’t kept waiting for my appointment and I explained my problem. The young man explained that my son had damaged his iPod by shoving the charger in the wrong way. He then explained my options–both of which were costly. I took the least expensive option of replacing our current iPod. When the man returned, he had the new iPod but said he wouldn’t be charging me. I was incredulous. “Why?” He said that even though damage wasn’t covered under warranty, they just wanted to replace it free of charge. Unfortunately, the church today is less willing to say that we are responsible for damaging our lives by refusing to discuss sin. Even if the church offers people the Gospel (a free replacement life in Christ), the value of the gift is greatly diminished without an acknowledgement of our responsibility.
I left the Apple store feeling blessed and wanting to tell everyone the good news I heard there. We don’t have to hire Steve Jobs to pastor our churches to have the same result. We can ask the Holy Spirit to breathe new life into the church and to let it begin with ‘me.’
I believe in clean enough. I am okay with less than 100% correct. I am obviously comfortable with blogging less than daily. Thus, I am not a perfectionist.
But I do have a problem when it comes to some activities or life changes; I am a Gestaltist. A gestalt is a whole. God designed us to see a circle in the picture above, even though part of it is missing. Not only do we see the whole, but we desire the whole. You might argue that desiring the gestalt is perfectionism, but I beg to differ. Perfectionism is a standard set so high that it can and often does interfere with daily functioning. Gestaltism is, in many respects, the opposite. The desire for completion is what spurs us on when the workout is almost over or the dishwasher is almost unloaded. This is a functional desire.
However, like perfectionism, Gestaltism can present difficulties, too. This morning I was contemplating journaling in my junk journal (I would like to blog about this later!) and didn’t want to. When I asked myself why, I realized that I was reluctant to write this month because I didn’t write anything last month. I felt that my journal was going to be incomplete, and thus less desirable, even if I continued to write in it for the rest of the year.
How can we get past the dysfunctional aspects of Gestaltism, so I can do things like write in my junk journal and you can do things like lose weight?
– Create a new whole to complete. Rather than concern myself with the journal as a whole, I can think about finishing the month of May. If you blew your diet for lunch, make dinner your new complete.
– Redefine complete. To get myself writing, I can call a few retrospective entries in the calendar for the last two months complete. If you overate for lunch, but made sure you were really hungry before you started, the latter can be your completion.
– Trust God to complete what you have started. Many Scriptures speak of God finishing what we start. Whether I finish my journal or not, I can focus on what a complete joy this journal will be one day to me, my children, and grandchildren. If you messed up your eating at lunch, trust that God will enable you to use what you learned to complete your weight loss goal.
In order to complete this post, I need to give photo credit. Have a completely wonderful day in the Lord!
I was reading some blog comments about homeschooling today that really got my goat. I realized that I consistently hear people propagating myths about homeschooling that I would like to dispel.
Homeschooled kids don't have social skills. This myth is the most pervasive and for me, the most upsetting. This notion presupposes that the only way we get social skills is by spending most of the day in an institution where we are largely required to listen and not speak. What we are free to do in these institutions is to fend for ourselves when the bullies come to call. I don't know about you, but in my adult life, I am allowed to talk with people for most of the day and I haven't been beat up since I was 11. The truth is that homeschoolers have more opportunities to develop mature social skills than traditionally schooled students and fewer opportunities to develop immature skills like how to speak to adults disrespectfully.
Homeschoolers are disadvantaged academically. I have had people seriously worry about how my children are going to do on college admission tests and get accepted to the best schools. These issues aren't my primary concern, first of all. I want my children to have a good education, but more importantly, I want them to have a good character. While there are a few opportunities not available to homeschoolers, it's actually the case that traditionally schooled students suffer the disadvantage. Homeschoolers have all day long to study, go on fascinating field trips, and be apprentices while their peers are in school. Test scores suggest that homeschooling is an incredible academic advantage. More and more, top colleges are looking to admit them.
You have to be really organized and patient to homeschool. What's interesting to me is that I've never heard anyone say that to a classroom teacher. Why is that? The truth is that there are disorganized, impatient homeschoolers just as there are classroom teachers. But it's also true that homeschooling teaches you to be more organized and more patient than you would be if you sent your children away to school all week. The corollary to this notion is this question: how can you teach SIX children? I answer: how can a classroom teacher teach TWENTY FIVE?
Homeschoolers should have to be more accountable to the state. First let me say that while there are homeschoolers who neglect or abuse their children, the overwhelming majority do not. If you don't enjoy your children, you are more likely to send them away to school for the better part of the day than to keep them home with you. Child abuse and neglect are a part of many traditionally schooled students lives, too. Are we doing enough to adequately protect them? Is homeschooling really a primary risk factor? Many times I hear people clamoring for more testing of homeschoolers. Remember that homeschoolers score four grade levels ahead of public schoolers and then think about what the state would do with more testing data. Even if you have a learning disabled child who is working at the maximum of his ability because of homeschooling, the state could use a low test score to require that he be sent to public school. If testing can be used this way for homeschoolers, it would have to be used this way for private schools. The application of such a policy for public schools implies that when their students score poorly on a test, the parents ought to be able to demand a private education or funds to homeschool him. Because I don't see that happening, I don't want mandatory testing of my students.
Homeschooling is an expensive, elitist education. Recent research suggests that student achievement is not related to how much parents spend for their children's home education. I have several friends whose income is lower middle class and who successfully home educate. One does not have a home computer. The number of free resources available today is staggering. More and more, African American families are choosing to home educate, too.
Homeschoolers are weird. This one is the most true of all of the myths I've listed. Homeschoolers are engaging in a counter-cultural activity, so of course they're weird. I know homeschoolers who are weird in other ways. There's no denying it. However, homeschoolers haven't cornered the market on weird. I know very weird private and public school families, too. Don't you?
I understand if homeschooling isn't for you. But please don't perpetuate the myths that could keep families who would benefit from home educating from giving it a try.
I recently began reading Gifted Hands, the Ben Carson story (Kids Edition) to my children and I believe every homeschooling family, school teacher, and librarian should be reading it to their students.
The reading level is appropriate for multiple age levels and my children beg me to read it. Then they beg me to read another chapter. The message that faith and reading are an integral part of success is communicated in a compelling way that even my eight-year-old reluctant reader caught. In fact, my son bragged about how many books he read last night.
Other important teaching is diligence, the impact of racism, and what it’s like to be poor. Don’t miss this inspiring addition to your homeschool library.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
