My husband and I were married 20 years ago today. I shared how I found unexpected love on my personal blog. Like millions of couples, we included 1 Corinthians 13 as part of our ceremony. I love this passage of Scripture still, but I see it differently now that I have experienced real marriage–not the romance-novel kind. Here are verses 4-7 for real.
Love is patient.
It doesn’t explode when it discovers you’ve driven through the grass when the ground is wet. Well, actually it does, but it forgives.
Love is kind.
It doesn’t suggest you just take a shower or workout when you have the body-ache-and-ready-to-die kind of flu. Well, actually it does at first, but it learns. It offers to get you medicine instead.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It doesn’t suggest you aren’t qualified to play mixed doubles tennis and never will be. Well, actually it does, but at least it admits there are players much worse than you.
It does not dishonor others.
It doesn’t make you feel like a fool for buying the latest and greatest gadget that falls apart the first week. Well, actually it does, but it apologizes.
It is not self-seeking.
It doesn’t want to know what’s for dinner when you’ve had a hard day. Well, actually it does, but when it discovers how worn out you are, it takes you out to eat.
It is not easily angered.
It doesn’t get upset over a mess. Well, actually it does. It blows its top without getting the whole story, but than it laughs at itself when the explanation is given.
It keeps no record of wrongs.
It doesn’t remember the last time you ordered way too many pizzas for the party. Well, actually it does, but it’s willing to give you another chance.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It doesn’t snicker when it discovers you’re wrong about something you were certain of. Well, actually it does, but it gets you to laugh at yourself.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
It doesn’t let you learn the hard way, doesn’t stop believing in you, doesn’t divorce you. Actually it doesn’t.
I thank God for the 1 Corinthians 13 love He gave me 20 years ago and pray we have at least 20 more years of real life marriage. Happy Anniversary, Mark! Thanks for loving me.
These caught my eye on Pinterest. Kevin & Amanda call these Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie n’ Oreo Fudge Brownie Bars. It makes more sense to me to call them You Can Have it All Brownies. You layer chocolate chip cookie dough (Kevin & Amanda give a recipe for the dough, while I used a large roll of refrigerated dough), followed by Oreos, and brownie mix prepared as directed. If you read the comments, you’ll worry for nothing. You have to make sure you cover them with aluminum foil for 30 minutes and bake for another 25 minutes. There will be some ooey gooey unbaked stuff drizzling down your plate. Is that a problem for you? Please click the highlighted link above for the recipe.
Oven Tacos
2. Oven Tacos
What, dessert before dinner? I love this recipe from Lynn’s Kitchen Adventures because it’s so handy for a large family like mine AND it gets the fiber and protein of beans into my kids with no complaints. Oh, they knew they were there, but they kept eating.
Greek Pasta Salad
3. Greek Pasta Salad
If you love Greek Salad like I do, you’ll love this unique twist on pasta salad. This would be great to take to a picnic or potluck if you can keep from eating it yourself. I’m not as wild about the big mushrooms, but I don’t think I would miss them. I found this recipe on my go-to site, All Recipes.
Breakfast Cookies
4. Breakfast Cookies
Are you aghast at eating cookies for breakfast? You mean as opposed to donuts, Pop-tarts, and sugar-coated cereal? These cookies have the protein of peanut butter, the goodness of oats, and they’ve got to be better for you than most preservative-laden bakery items. Even if they’re not, I don’t care, because they’re DELISH. 🙂 I modify this AllRecipe’s concoction to include Rice Krispies (yes, you’ll need SIX CUPS) and chocolate chips.
Bean and Bacon Casserole
5. Bean and Bacon Casserole
Growing up in South Dakota, the pot luck dish I looked forward to most was my aunt’s bean casserole. I think she called it 3-Bean Casserole or some other number of beans. But because I didn’t care about the number of beans as much as the fact that there was BACON in it, I’m calling it Bean and Bacon Casserole. AllRecipes calls it Calico Bean Casserole. I need to doctor it up more next time, but it was pretty close to what I remember. Think beans, bacon, hamburger, and a brown sugar barbecue flavor. Yum. This was also a popular dish at Chuckwagons when I was growing up.
Baked Peanut Butter Oatmeal
6. Baked Peanut Butter Oatmeal
My kids just aren’t wild about traditional oatmeal. Too bad because I really love it. I was very excited to find Lynn’s recipes for baked oatmeal because I was sure we’d both love it and we do. It tastes like a soft granola bar. I sprinkled it with mini chocolate chips and drizzled milk over it and everyone slurped it up. What’s wonderful is this can be prepared in advance.
Pretzel Fruit Pizza
7. Pretzel Fruit Pizza
I LOVE salty and sweet and this really delivers in both ways. I used the blender to pulverize the pretzels. It made creating a yummy crust much easier. The cream cheese topping includes lime juice which is another flavor I’m crazy about. And who doesn’t love berries? I suppose if they make your lips swell, you wouldn’t like them as much, but hopefully that’s not you. Check out this AllRecipe’s link to make this great light dessert. Perfect 4th of July dessert, yes?
I’ve looked at my social media stats and I’ve wondered if I could save time saying things that no one pays attention to by just talking to my family–and skipping the blogging.
The cricket chirping sound really shouldn’t bother me. As a booklet and freelance writer, I never received immediate feedback on my work from anyone but my mom. Thanks, Mom!
Blogging without feedback though (comments, shares, and likes) feels eerily like getting chosen last by the team captain for the sport du jour when I was a kid: bad. Really bad. This experience motivated thousands of students to GRADUATE.
And so I have considered graduating from blogging to hobbies that have a higher rate of return–hobbies like baking. I make the occasional inedible bomb, but for the most part my family and guests rave, “Amazing! Delicious! Can I have the recipe?” My online concoctions rarely receive these five-star ratings. (Before anyone suggests that I blog about my recipes, I need to admit that they’re not mine. They’re AllRecipes‘.)
A Reason to Quit
The lack of readers isn’t the real reason I’ve considered quitting, however. I haven’t been promoting my blog for long at all. I haven’t dedicated the time it takes to build a following. If I am patient and build my blog, they will come. I think.
The real reason I’ve considered quitting is because I didn’t think blogging was big enough.
I’m an author. I self-published the book, So You’re Not Wonder Woman, that I recently learned has sales in the top 20% of all published books (never mind that that’s because 80% sell fewer than 100 copies). Books seem like a big deal to me. My life has been changed by books. My faith in God grew by leaps and bounds in reading George Mueller’s The Life of Trust; Being a Narrative of the Lord’s Dealings With George Müller. My health was restored through the book, A More Excellent Way w/ DVD. And my fears diminished when I read The Christian’s Secret to a Happy Life I want to write life-changing books. That seems bigger than blogging to me.
I’m a speaker. I wish I had a total number of people I’ve spoken to with in-person events, radio, and TV combined. It might seem somewhat impressive. Regardless of the number, speaking is big to me. My life has been changed by speakers. Becky Tirabassi convinced me to read the entire Bible and pray daily in her Change Your Life seminar. Ken Ham and Dr. Carl Werner gave me confidence that the Bible is true from the first chapter. Beth Moore helped me see the difference between believing in God and believing Him. I want to be a life-changing speaker. That seems bigger than blogging to me.
Why I’ve Been Held Back
Despite the fact that I’m a bit shy of 10,000 blog followers and that I have bigger, more important opportunities (the kids want to know what’s for lunch), I’ve persisted in this little, unimportant, everybody’s-doing-it hobby/business/addiction called blogging. Why?
The sentences in A More Excellent Way w/ DVD about the connection between woundedness and illness changed my life–not the whole book. Becky Tirabassi’s repeated admonition to spend time daily with the living, loving God changed my life–not the whole seminar. And though I have doubted that what I’ve written or said could possibly change others’ lives in the same way, people come to me with sentences from my book, my seminars, and my blog. They repeat them to me with meaningful looks and I try to remember sharing them.
The words that we string together, whether in a book, a speech, or a blog are big to someone–even if that’s just your mom. That’s the little reason you and I shouldn’t quit blogging.
Someone who may not comment or tweet or share or “like” you may take one little sentence from one of your posts that you wrote when you wondered if your blog even matters and may be TRANSFORMED.
That is why I blog. And maybe it’s why you do, too.
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much (Luke 16:10a).
P.S. Have you thought about giving up blogging? Have you ever been surprised by the big impact of something little you’ve written?
You didn’t show up. You didn’t thank me. You didn’t keep your promise. You didn’t return the favor. You didn’t include me. You didn’t apologize.
You hurt me.
You rejected me. You talked about me behind my back. You forgot me. You judged me. You didn’t ask about me. You didn’t encourage me. You believed the worst about me. You didn’t love me.
Every time the phone rings, an email comes in, or there’s a knock at the door, I think maybe you’re going to give me what you owe me. But you don’t.
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[h] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[i] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (Matthew 18)
I have borrowed without paying back.
I haven’t shown up. I haven’t shown gratitude. I haven’t kept my promise. I haven’t returned the favor. I didn’t include you. I didn’t apologize.
I hurt you.
I rejected you. I talked about you behind your back. I forgot you. I judged you. I didn’t ask about you. I didn’t encourage you. I believed the worst about you. I didn’t love you.
I can’t stop thinking about it.
I’m so sorry. I hurt for how I made you feel. I want to repay you.
Some homeschooling parents insist that their children have regular bedtimes and get plenty of sleep. Many of these same parents are up late and aren’t giving themselves the benefit of at least seven hours worth of sleep.
Some homeschooling parents don’t have regular bedtimes for their children who often aren’t getting enough sleep. Typically these parents are also sleep-deprived.
If you and your children have regular sleep routines, you are likely to be healthier and more motivated than the rest of us. Just be careful that pride isn’t your downfall. 😉
Why Sleep is So Important to Homeschoolers
My teenage son, who likes to test the limits of sleep deprivation, recently asked me about dreams. He thinks I know way more about psychology than I do and I let him persist in his delusion. I equated dreaming with website maintenance. Websites typically become unavailable while work is being done to enhance their efficiency.
In the same way, we need to sleep so our brains can form new connections based on what we’ve learned. My theory on dreaming is that as the brain works, sorting through the events and emotions of our day, the conscious part of our brains tries to make sense of it all. The result? An often nonsensical dream that we will only recall if we wake up in the middle of it.
Sleep deprivation means that information doesn’t get stored in our memories. It means that our brains and even our bodies will operate less and less efficiently until eventually we have to go offline. We get sick.
decreased perception of ability (students assume they “can’t do it.”)
These behaviors are exactly the opposite of what we want in our students (and ourselves!).
It’s Not How Much, But When
Homeschoolers often feel comfortable keeping erratic sleep schedules because they know their schedules afford them the flexibility to sleep in or make up for sleep deprivation later. However, studies suggest that being able to make up for sleep loss may be a myth. In college, I learned that even more important than the amount of sleep we get is the regularity with which we get it. What’s more, a constantly changing sleep schedule is likely to interfere with your ability to sleep soundly–even when you’re tired.
The summer I did a 12-week Body for Life transformation, I got up at 6 a.m. every morning and went to bed around 11 p.m. each evening. I have never felt more energetic. While I still keep this schedule in general, there are too many days and nights that I vary from it…and I feel it!
And my kids? I’ve mentioned before that my kids are up late and sleep late, but I think we need to be more consistent with bedtime in particular. I hope to motivate my husband to help me by having him read this post and the ones referenced at the end of this post.
Do a Sleep Study
I participated in a Track Your Happiness study using my iPhone. I was able to look at a graph that compared how much sleep I got with my happiness. There wasn’t an obvious relationship. If instead, I had a comparison between my sleep schedule and happiness, I am sure I would have found consistency equaled happiness.
The blog post, Homeschooling and Sleep Deprivation: 8 Things You Should Know, suggests you do a sleep study at home. I love this idea! Have your children help you with a little psychological research. Record the times you and your children go to sleep and wake up and also have them rate themselves on variables you consider important to homeschooling (e.g., attention, cheerfulness, assigned work finished). You may want to rate them, too. I’d like a dollar for every time one of my children has screamed at me that they’re not tired. 🙂 You may want to consider having two experimental conditions: 1) Allowing you and your kids to sleep as they currently do or as they choose 2) Going to bed and getting up at the same times.
When you have the results (I suggest at least a week to gather data), ask your children what conclusions they draw. Is an amount of sleep or a regular sleep time important? If so, what changes do they think should be made with regard to sleep?
I realize this isn’t a picture of my kids, but this Eastern Garter Snake definitely interested my children. Fortunately, this guy who we found in our pool when we got it open isn’t venomous like the Copperhead that bit our son, Sam. Opening the pool to discover new creatures is always a favorite outdoor activity.
Playing softball with Elaina has been a lot more fun than I thought it would be. This week I told her to put her full weight into her swing and she nearly took me out and with a tennis ball no less! She caught a pop fly during a game and was beaming. The whole family has really enjoyed playing ball together the last couple of weeks.
I’ve made a delightful discovery the past couple of weeks. The kids are thrilled if I am outside just WATCHING them play. That doesn’t mean I can come outside with a book or do anything but ooh and aah over their abilities, but it is nice that not all my time outside has to be actively playing.
I’ve enjoyed taking very quick dips into the pool (the water has been quite chilly!) while the kids play what amounts to King of the Mountain with the float.
Fortunately, we had a not-so-hot day when we could enjoy lunch outside. And yes, that counts!
I really enjoy playing with the Ogodisk with the kids. It’s a much easier to catch (and safer) frisbee and you can also use two of them with the included squishy ball.
I honestly have put in hours of time with the kids outside in the past two weeks. We had two field days! One of those field days I spent talking with friends, but the all-day one had me actively participating with a group of kids. I got so many great ideas for fun things to do outside. One of the most clever was four-way tug-of-war. Using a large rope that’s tied in a loop, four teams line up on one side of the rope that has been shaped into a square. Behind each team is a pin (we used a bowling pin). The first team to pull the rope toward their pin so someone can pick it up wins. The rope is then reshaped into a triangle for three remaining teams and then into a thin oval shape for two teams. Very fun!
A second clever (but very messy) activity was musical buckets. This is just like musical chairs only using 5-gallon buckets filled with water. Some kids enjoyed getting stuck. Other typical, but fun activities included relays, obstacle course races, and capture the flag.
We finished out the two weeks with a family bike ride. It was really hot, so we didn’t last long, but we had a great time seeing turtles and deer as we rode. I asked my husband to teach me how to load the bikes onto the carrier. For all of us to ride, we have to take two vehicles. But it’s worth the effort!
Hope I’ve Given You Some New Ideas for Getting Outside with the Kids!
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
