The most popular question I get when I encourage parents to consider homeschooling is this one. Parents who have difficulty getting a child to do homework wonder how on earth they can teach him anything!
If you were to ask me, a psychologist and experienced homeschooler this question, here is how I would answer you:
If your child won’t listen to you, isn’t that a problem no matter where she goes to school? Even though your child may cooperate with her teachers, is it really working for you to battle over homework every night? What hope do you have that your child will listen to you when it comes to even more serious issues like use of the car, curfews, and alcohol use? Usually this answer gets parents thinking.
Obedience is a core subject. You may spend more time teaching it than any other, especially at the beginning of homeschooling. You will also learn more about your child and yourself as a parent than you thought possible. Improvement in obedience may be a bigger blessing than academic achievement.
You don’t have to homeschool to start working on obedience now. To get help, consult the greatest parenting expert I know and His book, free of charge. See Him first, and if you need some more examples of how to handle strong-willed kids, I like any of the Love & Logic books. Of course, there are other excellent resources out there, but this would be a great start. Once you see progress, reconsider homeschooling.
Fear is a very poor reason to miss a great opportunity. If parents told me they had no interest in homeschooling AND their kids don’t listen to them, I wouldn’t be as sad for them as I am for parents who truly desire to home educate, but don’t for the sake of fear. I understand fear because I had a lot of it as I considered homeschooling. Turns out I should have had even more fears because I was completely clueless about the challenges that lay ahead! But God has been faithful to accompany me on this journey. I once feared what I would miss out on by homeschooling and now homeschooling is an opportunity I wouldn’t miss for the world.
If you aren’t willing to teach discipline, you may want to keep your child in school. Without discipline, nothing can be learned. As homeschoolers unwilling to require obedience, we become like the inept substitute teachers I had in school. Chaos will reign and education will cease.
I encourage you to pray about this important decision. Homeschooling won’t solve all your family problems, but it can provide you with more time to work on them, if you’re willing.
Somehow I don’t think I would have been motivated to re-enact the Revolutionary War on my own. But knowing that I had eight other children on their way to my house to do just that, got me going.
A co-op can be anything from taking turns teaching one another’s children, to formal classes, to families studying together. Here’s why I am a big fan of co-ops to boost motivation:
Accountability. There have been many times that the only reason I made sure we completed a paper or project was because I knew the other families would have it done. I like to teach writing to my friends’ kids because I know that writing won’t get put on the back burner. In the same way, teaching a literature class ensured that I got some classical reading done.
Friendship. Work doesn’t seem like work when you’re with a friend. Having time to talk with my homeschooling mom friends makes the activities worth the effort. The kids seem to feel the same way. What would be objected to outside of co-op is embraced within it.
Breaks. Workplace research demonstrates that rest breaks increase productivity. When I can pass the teaching responsibilities on to a competent friend, I am energized to resume teaching later. I have utilized a friend’s help in being solely responsible for teaching a biology lab co-op and have taken turns being responsible within our unit study co-op.
Numbers. There are some activities (like plays, speeches, and parties, for example) that just don’t seem worth doing with only our family. Sometimes more is better where motivation is concerned.
Memories. My children remember our co-op activities more than anything else they study and why wouldn’t they? We have taken incredible field trips, lived out history, and experimented together. While I love the learning, I treasure the time we have spent with friends who are really more like family.
I started a co-op by advertising for interested moms within our homeschool support group. If you think joining a co-op would make you a motivated homeschooler, start discussing the possibilities with homeschoolers you know.
My friend who will be homeschooling in the fall for the first time asked me this question. As that is one of the purposes of this entire site, it isn’t a question I can answer in one post. But I did have some thoughts!
Choose curriculum you love. If you love it, even if it’s not what everyone else is using, your enthusiasm for it will get you out of bed on those cold winter mornings. I plan to share curriculum that has kept me motivated, but for now, if you love what you’re using, you’re on the right track.
Be realistic in your homeschool planning. I told my friend to plan to teach about half of what she thinks she will. I made friends with another new homeschooler when she bemoaned that her 7-year-old son just wasn’t adopting her plan. I had such a good laugh with her about that. Our kids won’t adopt our plans if they aren’t based in reality. It’s not realistic to do every activity, every area of study, or every workbook page in a school year. It isn’t realistic to homeschool from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. either. I’d like to address this issue more in the future, but the best tip I can give you is to share your schedule and expectations with a veteran homeschooler (preferably one who knows you). If she laughs, you need to modify your plans.
Make it fun in the early years. One of the greatest benefits of homeschooling is not having to adopt institutional learning practices for young children. Some children love traditional workbooks, but many don’t. What my children (and I) remember most are the times we mummified brother, had a family version of the Olympics, and invited Uncle Steve over to share his slides on Africa. I look forward to sharing ideas for making learning fun in future posts.
Let children teach themselves. In recent years I have done more unschooling in the afternoons. As long as it was truly educational (Mario Kart doesn’t count), I let the kids explore their interests. As a result, the kids became origami experts and my 10-year-old shot and uploaded a video teaching kids paper crafts. I can only imagine the reaction I would have gotten had I assigned these projects! Aside from allowing your children to explore on their own, your curriculum plan should include plenty of materials that your kids can use on their own, especially once they are reading.
Take time to recharge. Being a homeschooling mother is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done, but when I had many young children, it was often the most exhausting and discouraging. I wouldn’t have made it without lots of answered prayer, the listening ear of my husband, the support of other homeschooling moms, and time to regroup. I’ve mentioned previously that at various times during the last 12 years, I have had a housekeeper and a regular babysitter. Having someone thoroughly clean my house once every two weeks made the mess a little less stressful. If you can’t afford hired help, perhaps you could find a friend to clean with. You’ll make quick work of it and you’ll have fun chatting at the same time. I also hired my niece to watch the kids for a few hours one afternoon a week. I used that time to shop without babies and even to have an early date with my husband. The expense was much less than a therapy session. 🙂
Remember that the days are short. I’ve had those days of constant interruptions and sibling bickering that follow sleepless nights when I’ve wondered how I would ever make it. Now I wonder why I ever worried. I look at pictures like the one featured with this post and I gasp at the privilege I have had of teaching these beautiful children. Get out your photo albums or watch a video and you’ll see how far you’ve come. You’ll be motivated to keep teaching. God bless you as you do.
I have a friend who will begin her homeschooling journey this fall. She has been asking some excellent questions like this one: how do you homeschool with toddlers and newborns? I homeschooled for nine years with toddlers and newborns and while I didn’t do a perfect job of it, I do have some things to share.
The first and most important way to homeschool with little ones is to reign in your expectations. In this regard, I had an advantage because I had never homeschooled WITHOUT toddlers and newborns in my home. If I had, I probably would have been tearing my hair out! As it was, it was all I knew. If you are picturing school at home rather than a home that is a school, you will end up frustrated. Babies and toddlers aren’t allowed at traditional schools. It’s impossible to create the same quiet, orderly atmosphere at home as a classroom teacher can when you have little ones. But that doesn’t mean your homeschool is inferior!
Recognize that there are advantages to having babies and toddlers in your homeschool. They aren’t an interruption in your school day; they are the reason you are teaching. Having older children experience young children is a part of their education. I taught a college developmental psychology course and had to ask the students to find a way to spend time with young children. The sad fact is that in our lower birthrate, age-segregated society, having a lot of experience with young children is rare. Younger siblings teach your older children to be gentle, patient, and less self-absorbed. The olders learn how to teach the youngers. The youngers learn from their siblings and listen in as you teach the olders.
Homeschool in the most baby-friendly area of your home. The last thing you need to worry about is the littles getting hurt while you’re explaining long division to junior. The room I used as our primary school room was attached to our playroom. I allowed the youngers to move from room to room as they chose. Lower shelves in our school room had toddler-friendly books and toys. Consider having a box of school time toys that are only available at set times.
Buy your toddlers the same workbooks as their siblings. David Hazell of My Father’s World does an excellent talk on the subject of occupying toddlers. One of his best suggestions has to do with the fact that we homeschoolers buy all kinds of new school goodies for our elementary kids every fall and nothing for the toddlers. David calls this “Christmas Without Me.” He recommends buying identical workbooks even if it costs you a little dough. The peace you get in return is well worth it!
Schedule projects that aren’t baby-friendly during nap time. I spent lots of time reading to my older kids while nursing babies. When it came time to do the timed science experiments, the baking, or the obstacle course races, I made sure the little guys were sleeping. Does that always work? Nope! Some days there is no nap. That’s when you reign in your expectations. Tomorrow is another day.
Schedule play dates with other homeschooling moms with young kids. You’ll discover you’re not alone and your friends will help you reign in those expectations. For several years, I participated in a Bible study with other moms while a teen watched our youngsters. A Mothers of Preschoolers group is another great way to connect with moms in the trenches.
Make sure you have “me” time. When I had lots of little ones, I had a housekeeper come in twice a month. I also had my niece watch the kids for me a couple of hours every week. Occasionally, I would use that respite time to go on dates with my husband. It helped me enormously! If you can’t afford these options, swap babysitting duties with a friend or clean together. I’ve used these approaches, too. Having some time away isn’t selfish; it helps you to be a better mom and wife.
Remember that this is a short season. Even though I had nine years’ worth of little ones in my homeschool, it flew by. Now I wonder why I had such a fit about all the books being pulled off the shelves, the toys scattered everywhere, and the lessons we didn’t finish. These are precious days. Enjoy learning together.
Do you have any other suggestions for homeschooling with babies and toddlers? Join the conversation at Homeschool Sanity on Facebook.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
The most popular question I get when I encourage parents to consider homeschooling is this one. Parents who have difficulty getting a child to do homework wonder how on earth they can teach him anything!
