I was born with soft, paper-thin, peeling nails and never understood why I hadn’t been given the gene for my mother’s gorgeous fingernails.
I never bothered to paint them, because in no time, my nails would tear off and look hideous anyway.
The Search for a Solution
As a teen, I’d heard that Knox gelatin could change my nails. I can’t honestly say I consumed lots of this stuff, but what I did eat didn’t seem to make a difference.
I tried getting expensive salon nails, because I figured I was destined to require them. I was at a dance when mine started flying off, leaving even thinner nails behind.
My next attempt at rescuing my nails was to use a nail strengthener. Over the past 30 years, I’ve used many of them. They always worked temporarily. If I was religious about using them, my nails grew a bit before they were torn off.
The most researched solution I tried was biotin. This vitamin is supposed to make a difference in your nails, but alas for me, it didn’t. My nails continued to be weak, despite taking biotin faithfully.
I was hopeful that I had found the answer, however. Lack of iron is supposed to contribute to poor nails. As I’d been anemic in the past, I figured iron supplements would do the trick. Nope! Layers of my nails continued to peel.
I was ready to give up when I read an article online that gave me the surprising solution to my no-nails dilemma.
How to Grow Your Nails
1. Keep your nails from getting wet. If you wash dishes or clean with wet solutions frequently, wear gloves. I knew that wasn’t my problem. Instead, as long as I could remember, I had put my nails in my mouth. A lot. I didn’t bite them off, but I put them in my mouth as a nervous habit. When I was driving or trying to solve a problem, my nails went in my mouth. When I was most anxious, I chewed them like leather.
2. File away the rough edges immediately. I wasn’t doing this consistently. I put it off, ignoring the fact that rough edges made it inevitable that my nails would catch on something and tear off.
I had to be constantly vigilant to put this advice into action. I had no idea how frequently I put my nails in my mouth! And what’s more, I couldn’t believe that I thought I could chew on my nails and have them be strong. But as I refrained from doing so and filed as soon as I saw any sharp corners or ragged edges on my nails, they started to grow.
My nails had grown before, but this time was different. While they weren’t rock hard nails, they were strong. I could actually tap them on the counter and make noise! And that was without nail strengthener. The photo taken above was taken before I had grown them to their maximum length. Surprisingly enough, I’ve found I don’t like them as long as they can be! I’ve cut myself with them playing tennis. For the first time, I actually have to trim my nails with a clipper. They’re so strong that they don’t tear off. They actually break!
What Does This Have to Do With Changing Your Life?
No, having longer, stronger nails hasn’t really changed my life. What has is what I’ve learned in growing them out. As with so many other areas of my life where I’ve desired change, I spent lots of time looking for the unique solution to growing my nails. I was sure there was some magic potion that would accomplish what I wanted. There wasn’t.
Instead, I learned that most of the time, changing your life means not destroying it yourself. It isn’t that we need a new diet or exercise plan. We need to stop eating when we aren’t hungry. It isn’t that we need a better coupon organizing system; we need to stop buying things we don’t need. I didn’t need to find the right nail strengthener. I needed to stop weakening my nails by putting them in my mouth and chewing them. I was like the foolish woman who tore her house down with her own hands (Prov. 14:1). It wasn’t genetics that had destroyed my nails; it was me.
The solution is often so simple, we don’t see it.
The second piece of advice is like it. Filing away the ragged edges immediately is like addressing life’s problems right away. When we eat those cookies when we’ve already had a filling meal, we need to ask ourselves why and take steps to prevent it in the future. When we come home with a purchase we don’t need, we need to return it right away. It’s like my mama always used to say: “Nip it in the bud!”
If we ignore this wisdom, we will continue living with weak nails and a weak life. We’ll waste our time and money on solutions that aren’t solutions at all.
What about you? What have you tried to grow your nails and change your life? What will you try now?
You keep telling yourself to try harder and you’ll succeed. You feel like you’re going out of your way for people, but you’re unappreciated. You write a blog post and get no comments. You’re not getting what you want and it’s frustrating.
Fortunately, Zig Ziglar was right. You CAN get more of what you want by helping others get what they want. Here’s how.
Often I spent a considerable amount of time writing for this blog, but got very few comments. Meanwhile, I was taking a minute every morning to share a quote or Scripture on Facebook and I was getting what I wanted. Several people consistently told me that they really enjoyed my updates.
Know What Others Want
I realized that I was getting the feedback I wanted because I was giving my readers what they wanted: quick-to-read encouragement. After reading Zig Ziglar’s superb book, Better Than Good: Creating a Life You Can’t Wait to Live, I asked myself how I could get even more of what I wanted by helping people get what they wanted. I was in the shower when I got my answer.
I thought I had the perfect formula for getting what I wanted. I would write brief, inspiring blog posts and I would get more feedback, especially on Facebook. So far, it’s working as I hoped it would. But the biggest surprise has been getting what I want offline, too.
Encourage one another daily… Hebrews 3:13
Before I started the new blog, I didn’t realize that the Bible tells us to encourage one another every day. I felt the Lord was calling me to commit to encouraging someone every day and to record what happened. I call this the Random Act of Encouragement Challenge. It’s changed my life dramatically in just a few weeks. Not only am I getting more positive feedback then ever, but I’m able to deal with crazy-making people so much better. It seems when you really commit to encouraging these people, they’re too shocked to say anything rude.
I can’t wait to share more of my experiences with the challenge in a talk called Secrets of the Spirit Lifters at the Women’s Day of Renewal on March 9, 2013 in Collinsville, Illinois. I would love to see you there!
If you would enjoy having daily inspiration in your inbox, I hope you’ll subscribe to The Inspired Day. As part of your subscription, you’ll receive access to the 13 in ’13 Challenge–a brief Bible study based on Nehemiah that can change your life in less than two weeks. If you’re on Facebook and would like to get encouragement in your news feed, please like The Inspired Day and you will. Twitter users can follow me here, Pinterest users here, and if you’re a Christian writer who would like encouragement, please join the Christian Bloggers Conversation group on Facebook.
Thank you
So many of you have been an encouragement to me over the years by commenting, liking my posts on Facebook, sending me email, or just being a great friend. You’ll never know how much that means to me. I am recommitted to encouraging homeschoolers and Christians who want saner living through Psychowith6. God bless you in the coming year!
What type of person is the most difficult for you to encourage?
My kids had me watch this video and belted out the lyrics with gusto never seen in any other forum, including church. Unfortunately, the tune is so catchy that you find yourself singing it, even when you don’t want to.
Are you singing the same old tune?
This song got me thinking–not about how sad it is that people die as the result of doing stupid things. Rather, it got me thinking about the dumb ways so many of us live.
Eating junk. Sure, it can kill you, but even worse, it makes you feel junky while you live.
Wasting time. I don’t think funny cat videos are a waste of time, but media of any sort that discourages us is a dumb way to live.
People pleasing. I’m not talking about being a simpering fool, but about doing anything simply because someone might get upset if we don’t.
Focusing on anything but the present. Fretting about something that’s already done or is 99% certain not to occur robs us of the joy of life now.
Being self-sufficient. We weren’t created to handle everything ourselves, but to need God and one another. We have so much unneeded stress and experience so little love as a result.
Do you want to live smart?
I know I do! In the new year, I want to make some changes. I want to eat more vegetables, take in more uplifting media, be more purposeful in what I do, focus on the moment, and rely more on God and others.
How about you? Do you have any other examples of dumb ways to live? How do you want to live smart in the new year?
I read Jen Hatmaker’s post on the trouble with including Santa in the celebration, the problem with commercialism, and the guilt we ought to feel about purchasing goods produced by slave labor.
When I finished reading, I continued on to read the comments, of which there were many. Most of them were cheering Jen on with cries of, “Exactly! This is why my family celebrates this way (or doesn’t celebrate at all).”
I was left wondering if I was celebrating Christmas the right way.
I mean, I can’t really disagree with most of what Jen said and I’m one of the most guilt-prone people I know. But something kept me from wanting to beat myself up one more time.
I was confused by my confusion. Why wasn’t I reacting to this message the way I ordinarily do?
I took the matter to the Expert on all things Christmas and was surprised by what He said.
I expected to hear that although I celebrate well in some respects–like giving gifts similar to those the Wise Men gave–I was really messing things up. I figured He’d give me what for on the Santa stuff especially–lying to my children! How could I?
Then I was sure He would take me to task on how excited I get about buying gifts for people. He would remind me of the giddy anticipation I have of Black Friday and how it pales in comparison to my anticipation of Good Friday. He would be right.
But that isn’t what He said. He said, “Melanie…
Christmas isn’t about what you do.
Christmas isn’t about what I do? But that’s all I hear about these days–what people DO for Christmas. Facebook, Pinterest, even the news is all about what we do for Christmas. There are all kinds of ideas for gifts, decorating, and food. There are even lots of ideas about how to focus on the Reason for the Season.
While I was still trying to make sense of what He’d said, He explained:
Christmas is about what I did.
The grammarian in me recognized immediately His use of the past tense. Christmas is about what God had already done. He sent His Son, Jesus, to be born to a most humble couple in the most humble of circumstances.
What God had done changed my life. That’s the past perfect tense. What God did for you and me in the past, He did perfectly in Jesus. But I still wondered if I was celebrating Him in the right way. His answer surprised me again.
I sent Jesus to answer that question.
He sent Jesus to tell me whether I was celebrating Christmas the right way? To tell me about Santa and slave labor? Then I understood.
The answer to the question is a resounding “no.” I’m not celebrating Christmas the right way. What’s more, I’m not living the right way. But if I were capable of living right, I wouldn’t need a Savior. Doh.
I was seized by a joy that I haven’t experienced at Christmas in years. Christmas isn’t about what I do. It’s about what God did!
The most glorious truth about the birth of our Savior is that I can’t mess it up. Christmas is here whether Santa steals the spotlight or some Grinch steals our goodies.
Christmas is here whether the whole world trades “Merry Christmas!” for “Happy Holidays!” It’s here even if Black Friday begins the day after Halloween. It’s here no matter what you and I do.
We’re not celebrating Christmas the right way, friend. But Jesus came for that very purpose.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
This post is part of the Inspired Holiday Hop. You may enjoy these participating posts:
I’m not asking about life after you’ve just had a baby. I’m wondering if you feel like you’re the walking dead, not because you’re so exhausted, but because something is missing in your life. Maybe you’re not Undead, but someone you know is.
My Life as a Zombie
During my first years of graduate school, I staggered around campus exhausted, not because of the work or even the stress, but because I was existing apart from God. I thought psychology could put life into my life and solve my many problems, but it couldn’t. Studying psychology for me, was like a Zombie thinking that devouring brains could assuage the pain raging inside them. My book, So You’re Not Wonder Woman, is about my transformation from Zombie to Wonder Woman through the Super Power of God. Wonder Woman became the object lesson I used to tell women they don’t have to live as Zombies amid piles of dirty laundry, unpaid bills, and broken relationships.
Zombies: The Ultimate Object Lesson
I’ve had many women tell me that Wonder Woman is a powerful word picture for them of who they can be through the power of Christ. That’s why I was excited to read Undead by Clay Morgan. The book not only depicts life apart from God as a Zombie-like existence, it turns the entire Bible into a series of macabre stories that share the Gospel. The book is well-written (I’m a very picky reader), funny (Clay creatively uses footnotes to inject humor), and incredibly informative. He shares a rationale for our obsession with all things zombie (and vampire, too) and gives us fascinating lessons in history and science along the way.
You Need to Get Undead If
You feel like something’s missing. Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve been to church, you’ve been having a difficult time, or you’re just curious about Jesus or the Bible. Undead will encourage you.
You have a child fascinated with zombies or vampires. If you’re a Christian homeschooler, the book would serve as an excellent unit study.
You have a relationship with a young adult who has left the church. Clay speaks directly to the UnChristian generation, but especially to those who have some church background.
You want to learn a method of reaching unbelievers. My sister-in-law teaches story-telling as a means of sharing the Bible with people of all cultures. Even if you could not get someone to read the book, you can learn Clay’s method of turning the Bible into creepy stories–and I mean creepy in a good way!
One Important Note
On page 33, Clay writes, “Most conservative Christians don’t like to consider any other possibility outside of God creating all of existence in six literal days, although I think it’s possible that the origins of the universe aren’t as squeaky clean as that.” He then goes on to make it clear that he does not believe in traditional evolution wherein everything was created by chance. In saying this, he certainly appeals to a culture that clings to the evolution-based premise that the earth is billions of years old, while refusing to agree with a universe that was not created. If someone takes your suggestion to read the book and isn’t familiar with evidence against evolution, I highly recommend the video, The Grand Experiment, produced by our friend, Dr. Carl Werner. Our baby has a bit part in it! This superb material is also available in book form.
Finally, I must disclose that I requested a free copy of the book to review. As an author myself, I know how important social media and reviews are to getting books into the hands of readers, so I wanted to be of help. However, if I hadn’t liked the book, I wouldn’t have given a positive review (unless of course I were a zombie).
Get a Free Copy of Undead
In the interest of getting the word out about Undead (this is the official book page) and also building this blog’s following, I will be giving away a free copy to one of my readers. If you buy and read the book, please take a few minutes to leave a review on Amazon. While you’re there, please review So You’re Not Wonder Woman as well. Reviews are the number one determinant of buying decisions. Have a great Undead day!
I have always been a sucker for appeals to my desire to be great.
I love it when my friends or family tell me that someday I could get my big break and write a best seller, become a top blogger, or command huge speaking fees.
I love it because I have never given up that childhood dream of being a star.
Apparently, I’m not alone because there are industries making millions on dreamers like me. Consider the number of books, seminars, agents, and services that cater to people who believe that they can make it big as writers, singers, actors, models, athletes, or entrepeneurs.
Lately as I’ve pondered my future as a writer and speaker (and even as a tennis player), I’ve had to admit, “I will never be great.”
Acknowledging that fact seems like a sad admission (even though it’s long overdue), but it’s actually given me much joy. Why?
The people that I consider to be the greatest of all have suffered the most.
I’m currently reading Evidence Not Seen: A Woman’s Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II By Darlene Deibler Rose. As I read these compelling words and think about writing an equally compelling book, I know I don’t want to. I’m not even halfway through the book, and this saintly woman has had everything taken from her, including her husband. I don’t desire the suffering required to be that great.
I’m reminded of a mother who wanted to be great vicariously–by having her sons reign with the Lord:
“What is it you want?” he asked.
She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.”
“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?” (Matthew 20:21-22)
When I have sought to be great, I didn’t know what I was asking either.
I didn’t know I was asking to sacrifice time with my family, sleep, leisure time, relaxed time with friends, my privacy, freedom from many temptations, and most certainly my humility. Like this misguided mother, I have misunderstood the cost of greatness and despite having it right in front of me, I have asked for something more.
Our small group at church is doing this Bible study: H2O: A Journey of Faith (DVD Curriculum). I can’t recommend it enough. The pastor was sharing the truth that no matter how much more of something we think we want, we can be sure that it won’t be enough. The pursuit of greatness is, as Solomon tells us in Scripture, a meaningless existence. The truth of that finally sunk in. I’m sure you’re wondering what took so long!
At last I’m done with the “success” blogs, books, and webinars and I am no longer seeking to be great.
Don’t look for me at Wimbledon, on Technorati’s top blogs, or on the New York Times Best Sellers List. Instead, look for me on the tennis court with the kids, here on this obscure blog where I get to pour out my heart each week, and at the feet of Jesus.
At His feet, I will be praying that He will be great in your life and mine.
How about you? Do you still dream of being great? How would you feel if you gave up that dream?
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
