I have had times of profound peace in my life and this isn’t one of them! Because I know what it feels like to have no worry and no hurry, I am determined to find it again. If you want to be able to rest in the Lord, no matter what storms rage around you, I have help for you.
First, I want to share a story with you. I was seriously ill. My chronic nasal allergies were the worst they had been. I had the most severe heartburn I had ever had and I wasn’t pregnant. I had other major GI problems, including trouble swallowing. I was losing hair. My right leg and the right side of my face were numb. One day when I was out running, I found myself going off the road and I couldn’t stop.
I was terrified that I had multiple sclerosis. I hoped that it was related to a food allergy, so I ate only the most obscure foods I had never had before. I lost tons of weight, but the symptoms remained. I took hundreds of dollars’ worth of supplements. I stayed up all hours of the night researching my condition.
I did not have peace.
After prayer and fasting, others’ prayers and fasting included, I knew what the problem was: I was afraid. I was afraid that I couldn’t trust God. I was afraid that I couldn’t trust my husband to stay with me if I did have MS. I was afraid I was going to die. I was honestly afraid of just about everything. I noticed for the first time that my gut was twisted in knots every time I was running late for something, every time someone seemed mad at me, every time I had messed something up.
But when I realized what the problem was, I prayed and repeated “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding” every time the fear came. Not only did all my physical symptoms disappear, but I had a profound sense of peace. I had a speaking engagement at the time and forgot my notes. Normally, my stress level would have been through the roof! But I felt completely and totally calm. I was able to have my son email me the notes and all was well.
In the years since then, I have lost that complete, blissful sense of peace I had. I want it back. I need to practice the principles I described in the article I wrote for Intentional in Life. I pray that you and I are both blessed by pursuing peace in the right places.
Thank you for posting this. It really m abt a lot to me. I struggle with fear and isolation. Out of respect for my husband, I no longer talk about issues with family or friends, and I can’t talk to him because it just breaks up the peace. Even when I have the courage to speak how I feel about something, it always turns into drama and emotional hurt, so I cry out to God. I’m no longer homeschooling my 2 kids, as we moved this past summer and enrolled them in a charter school, I worked for a few ml the but I felt anxiet there, my marriage is rocky-at best…despite my efforts to walk in love and peace., and I’m 24 weeks pregnant. I’ve battled sickness for the past 3 months-colds, allergies, sinus infection, the influenza virus (me and the kids) and a cough that is still lingering since December ( but now getting better). I had no energy and felt like my life was in shambles. It’s overwhelming and lonely despite being married for 11 years. I think fear is my issue too… everything is bothering me, a its consumed me, all the way to effecting my health. I must pray about this and ask God to help me-to show me when to speak up and when not to. Sorry for rambling! But thank you for letting me know I’m not alone!
You’re definitely not alone! And it’s so good that you know fear has something to do with it. I pray that God will bless you with His peace even in the midst of difficult circumstances.
It’s that amazing how fear not only can paralyze us but can make us physically ill? I had something similar happening to me two years ago and no doctors could help me. But once I have it to God and fought the spirit of fear, it was gone!
I’m a new person today and intentionally pursuing peace is my goal too.
I can’t wait to read your post at Jessica’s blog!
Thank you for sharing this with us, Melanie.
Yes! I know you know what I’m talking about. Thanks for commenting, my friend.