A dear friend told me recently that she understood exactly what I was saying about surrendering in the area of weight loss. What she wanted to know more about was how to eat after you surrender. That’s an excellent question!
My Weight Loss Story
If you haven’t read my book with its description of my own battle of the bulge, you don’t know that I had tried just about everything to lose weight. I had tried counting calories, half-starving myself, appetite suppressants, exercising, a support group, would have tried Jenny Craig if I could have afforded it, not dieting, psychology and exploring my reasons for eating, and even reading the Bible and praying about it. I was leading a weight loss group at church and I hoped that my position would force me to succeed, for fear of failing publicly. I had initial success with every method I tried. Many women wouldn’t think I ever had a serious issue with weight. I can understand that.
At my highest weight, I was about 30 pounds too heavy. But the weight of the issue in my life was huge. It was all I thought about.
I thought about how tightly my clothes fit in the morning. I would be determined to eat lightly for breakfast. When I didn’t, I would berate myself mentally and would be even more determined to eat lightly for lunch. Of course, I typically overate for lunch. I was so depressed about it, I rewarded myself with some candy in the afternoon. All the way home from work I would tell myself I would make up for all of it for dinner. At the same time, however, I could see myself devouring an entire pizza. I spent the entire night depressed about what a terrible day I’d had. I would be better the next day I’d reassure myself, but the cycle repeated.
When I began learning that I was engaged in a spiritual battle, many good things occurred. I was reading my Bible, praying, and learning the difference between worldly wisdom and God’s ways. But I was still determined to succeed in my own strength. I would tell myself that I would just read more Bible verses, pray before every bite, etc., etc. It didn’t work. I really believed that God could do it for other people but not for me. One day I prayed a very dangerous prayer.
I said, “God, whatever it takes to release the hold food has on my life, DO IT.”
He did. Nothing dramatic happened. People didn’t make fun of me for being overweight. I wasn’t kicked out of group leadership and my husband didn’t threaten to leave me. Instead, I reached the end of myself. I realized that after 14 years of struggle, I just wasn’t capable of defeating the thing. I told God tearfuly, “If you want me to have victory, you’re going to have to do it because I quit!” I literally said it out loud in my kitchen.
How Do You Trust God After Surrender?
That was surrender. What came next? What eating principles, diet or exercise plan did I follow that gave me the victory? I have no idea. All I know is there was no system of not eating certain foods, counting calories or bites, or thinking about it AT ALL. That is a miracle! In fact, I didn’t even weigh myself until months later when I realized I no longer felt addicted to food. I have testified to the fact that the Lord gave me absolutely no idea how this happened so that I would not be touting the Melanie-plan to weight loss. And I would have been! But even though I can’t give you the 10-step plan, I do want you to have the same awesome victory I have been given. Here’s what I suggest:
*Pray that the Lord would do whatever it takes to release you from the bondage of obsession with food, weight, and exercise.
*Tell God that you quit, that you know you don’t have it in you to do this. Give Him permission to take over COMPLETELY.
*Every time you find yourself thinking about how to lose weight, confess it as your desire for control. Ask forgiveness and for the Lord to keep you out of His business!
*Renew your mind. Since writing this original post, I met Barb Raveling. She has helped me see that there is another way to trust God after surrendering in the area of weight loss: renewing your mind. I can’t recommend Barb’s book I Deserve a Donut and the iPhone app enough.
Don’t believe the lie that only certain people can enjoy freedom from the bondage of food. God bless you as you trust Him.
Melanie,
I loved this post and have shared it with friends. Tonight I posted a link to it from my blog. I’m looking forward to reading your book.
Thank You So Much For This Post !! I am going through the same thing. On 12/4/15 my Dr told me that I needed to lose 50 pounds and that was being nice. I have been struggling with my weight and I am depressed. I sat at my dinner table and I cried and I apologized to God for that I allowed myself to become so over weight. I’m still praying about things, and I am looking forward to reading your book. I will truly surrender it all to him ! Thank You !!! And Congratulations !!
Aww, I feel for you. I do recommend some other books to you. My friend’s book I Deserve a Donut by Barb Raveling which will help you renew your mind with respect to the lies we tell ourselves about food. The other is How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too. The latter book explains how it’s actually natural human behavior to crave and binge when we diet. I’m praying for you.
When I read your experience, it was like my own life to a “T”. I have tried to lose weight since menopause and have failed. I have never had a weight problem till menopause and thats what makes this so hard. Going from a size 4 to a 12 in a few years has made me disgusted with myself. I know God is my only answer, not diets and yet another gimmick or some smoothie. I try to give it to him and then I find myself looking at diet posts hoping for that magic solution. Thank you for the post and your honesty.
Sharina, I hope you won’t be down on yourself though. I have found that just makes things worse. Menopause is challenging! Praying for you. Thanks for commenting.
After reading your experience, i just saw myself in it because that’s exactly what am going through now. Every day i keep thinking of how i can loose weight and yet i keep eating and eating. I really want to loose weight. I pray GOD help me.
I’ll pray too, Hannah. I know it’s such a struggle. But I believe you can get to the place where God is in control and your mind has been renewed.
I just want to tell you I am so happy for you. And so proud of you for putting this in Gods hands. We all need to do this with everything we go at. Thank you for the smile you gave me when I read this.
Thanks, Holly. You’re right that we need to put everything in God’s hands. Why is that so hard? 🙂
You are a breath of fresh air for my dark place of trying to lose weight for years. We meet my husband’s family every year at the beach and I really wanted THIS to be the year when I feel like I look decent. Instead I weight more than last year after more diets, starving and hating myself. It’s the menapause thing – I use to be a 2/4 and now I’m almost a 10. I use to be the skinny one at the beach and now I feel like a whale. While I can’t possible lose in just 3 days, I am not going to hide under the sand. After I submit this, I”m going to my “war room” and give it to God like you did! I will also put that book on my kindle (so they won’t know what I”m reading at the beach! haha) Blessings to you! One questions: How long did it to lose? Did you keep it off with the same mindset?
Martie, I’m so glad you’re not going to hide. It didn’t take long for me to lose the weight when I gave up trying. And yes, the same mindset is what kept it off. The challenging thing is that you can’t try to lose weight by having an attitude change. I really did give up. I wish I had a formula, but I can tell you that God is faithful, no matter how He works in your life.
Thank you so much for this. I never thought about it this way. You really opened my eyes and helped me. Bless you!
Gretchen, I’m so glad this was helpful. Praying for you!
Thank you. I need to lose about 20 pounds since having my third child a year ago. I can’t stand how I feel and I know I am obsessed with it. It’s all I think about. I am a control freak and after reading this I realized that even in my prayers I am asking God for control. I need to surrender and ask for forgiveness. You are an inspiration to me and I have enjoyed your blog so much. Thank you for being so real.
Danielle, you have my prayers, too. Recently I read The Thin Woman’s Brain, which added an understanding of brain chemistry to this issue. It is not a Christian book, but has more ideas for helping with emotional eating. I’m so glad this was a helpful post.
Like you, I had dieted off and on for almost 35 years. Sometimes successful, but usually I’d gain it back. 5 years ago I lost 50 pounds and felt really good about myself. Then after my Dad died I went into some depression and gained 30 pounds back. I’ve struggled with losing it again for the last 3 years. Finally about a month ago I read a devotional one morning and it hit me like a ton of bricks, that I have been making food my idol. For too long I have thought about food way too much. So about a month ago I decided I was done with dieting. I am tired of Satan fighting me the whole way. I knew that weighing every morning and being disappointed if the scale didn’t move wasn’t working, so I gave it up to God. I try to only eat when I’m actually physically hungry and choose foods that will fuel my body and not just tickle my tastebuds. If I want a piece of chocolate I have a small square of dark chocolate and get on with my life, I don’t beat myself up over it nor do I crave more once I’ve enjoyed that little piece. And I may only have that once a week or so. I’m spending more time in prayer and bible study and I’ve felt much more free and at peace with myself. I only weigh about once a month, because when I gave up the fight I realized that God didn’t care what the needle on the scale says or how I look….He cares what my heart looks like. For all these years I’ve dieted to look better, or feel better, or fit into that one special outfit. For me. No more. I’m doing it for God now. He’s the One I want to please. When I weighed last I had lost almost 5 pounds. I realize it’s going to be slow because I still enjoy eating, but I no longer worship what I eat. So, thank you for this post. It reinforces in my mind that finally, I’m on the right path! God bless you!
Vicki, that is so exciting! Thank you so much for sharing that with me and others who read this post. Praying that you will have the same experience I had and can have freedom in this area.