I wonder why I can’t ever outsmart my kids. I mean, I have a Ph. D. in psychology. I have read more parenting books than most small libraries own. I homeschool so I get lots and lots of “experiment” time. Yet I still can’t outdo them. If I was on Survivor with them, I would be the first one voted off. I’m a failure at forming alliances and fooling them into doing what I want.

Take these Color Wonder markers. These things are supposed to be the miracle workers for parents of preschoolers. Kind of like the Nanny only you get to keep your pride and privacy. The idea is they can play with these anywhere and anytime without making a mess. They will be quiet and clean. Perfect for chrch, right?

Wrong. Color Wonder markers only work on special paper. The special paper rather slowly takes on a pastel shade. My kids aren’t thrilled with this. They look instead for the one marker that I have overlooked that creates real color on everything. And they always always find it. They are like the Jack Bauers of mess-making. Just when you think they’re finished they find a way to defeat you.

On the off chance that they are unable to locate a real marker they rely on real paper. No CW markers don’t leave marks on regular paper but they do turn the kids’ church coloring pages into a wet paper towel kind of mess. Of course this gets old quickly because it’s still quiet play.

Most enjoyable is connecting them together to form a marker sword that you can hit people with. Screams are emitted if one’s sword is shorter than another’s, but no matter what happens in the marker war, they both win because no matter what I try, I know I can’t!

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