In So You're Not Wonder Woman, I describe my financial free fall while I was in graduate school. I was living on $600 a month, so putting $400 in car repairs on my credit card was trouble. I didn't live extravagantly, but I did have cable and insisted on having my own apartment–something I now see led to my accumulating debt. Sharing an apartment with one of my single girlfriends could have shaved at least 40% off my expenses. In addition to the usual expenses, I also had a car payment–not a huge one, but it was a hardship at that income.
I eventually had two credit cards that were maxed out and a medical bill that I was being harassed about paying (I wish now I hadn't had physical therapy for a bad ankle sprain). Foolishly, I used my tax return to take a trip to San Diego. I began working more hours and my income increased to $900 a month. That should have helped, but I moved to a more expensive apartment and bought new furniture to boot. I was at the point of using one credit card to pay off another. I regularly received overdraft notices. I took out bigger student loans. It was just too depressing to admit the truth of my situation: I was in debt. Another poor money manager friend told me at the time that I shouldn't go for credit counseling because they would put me on a budget. Perish the thought.
By today's standards, my debt was a pittance. But the cycle of indebtedness had begun and would have continued once I secured my first job. My student loan debt was over $30,000 in 1991. Again, small by today's standards, but huge to a young woman who didn't know a thing about managing money.
I have a friend who writes a secular blog on managing money and has been a guest blogger on Get Rich Slowly. I have mentioned to her that I could never tell my story of getting out of debt, because it isn't like hers. I didn't wise up, get educated, and get frugal. I didn't pay off my debt; someone else did. I have joked to her that I couldn't very well post about how I got out of debt: I got married.
I remember my fiance's big sigh when I revealed the whole of my debt. It was embarrassing to admit to a man who owned a home, bought two vehicles with cash, and had a sizable savings account. He immediately paid off all my debt. He never lectured me about money. He didn't enroll me in a finance course or give me a book to read. He just managed money well and I watched and learned.
I read this post requesting get-out-of-debt stories and I finally felt moved to share mine. I realized that while my story won't get raves from finance fans, it should from faithful followers of Christ. Though I had much to be ashamed of, my Redeemer paid off my debt. I didn't. Now I spend my life learning from Him.
Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”
Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”
“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.
Every get out of debt story is a great story. I have always felt very blessed, because my dh wanted to learn about finances and chose my dad as his advisor. It was so nice to go from my parent’s home to my married home with money being handled in much the same way. I can’t wait to read some of the other stories.
That’s true, Deb. I love reading them, too. That’s incredible that your hubby asked your dad for advice. Your dad must have been thrilled! My dad would have laughed really hard if my hubby asked him. Not the greatest money manager, but a dear, dear dad.
That’s a great application of your story.
A few years ago, my father offered to give me his old car (which was still in really nice shape). I told him I’d buy it from him but refused to take it as a gift. It’s one thing to get a car when you’re 16 – it’s another thing when you’re married with kids.
But God convicted me about it. He showed me that it’s all ultimately from him anyway. Why would it matter whether God had my dad give me the car or whether God gave me money to buy the car from my dad? I realized my pride was in the way.
We’ve been driving my dad’s old car for 2 or 3 years now.
I actually sold my house to pay off my debt. It was painful enough to do that (because I really liked that house and neighbourhood), that I resolved that never ever again would my outflow exceed my inflow. And part of the downpayment for that house was paid for by a gift from my father of some land that I’d sold, so technically he sort of paid my debt too. Another one of those lessons I had to learn the hard way to face my problems straight on and not look for quick fixes since I could have patiently plugged away at it like so many other Dave Ramsey-ish people have done. Except Ramsey wasn’t around back then.
Our mistakes help us teach our kids what NOT to do too. 🙂 (Assuming they’ll listen – or we *get to* have a bit of humility when we say I told you so and pay it forward by helping them too.)
It seems like it has to be a balance of letting kids' mistakes teach them and helping them when necessary, too. I hope I can find that right balance. You have a great story and a good approach with your own kids. I know who to ask when my kids are in a fix!
Loren, I'm glad you decided to keep the car. My guess is your father loves that he can do that for you. And you're right. Everything we have is His. We're just stewards of it, right? 🙂 Thanks for sharing this.
My get out of debt story is more spiritual! I will praise God for getting me out of the debt of unforgiveness, and for giving me the understanding of all He has forgiven me for! Why would’nt I want to pass that back out!? Living debt free is well, FREE-DOM! 🙂 -Blessings, Amy