If this post steps on your toes, know that I'm stomping on my own feet, too. If you've followed this blog at all, you know I love to talk about productivity, organization, and time management. I don't love to do it nearly as much as I love to talk about it, unfortunately.
This morning I had an aha moment about the way I do things at home in particular. I've spoken about this in so many words before, but apparently I needed the reminder. The principle is this: if I do things differently for people other than my family, I'm living as a phony.
When I was in private practice, I often saw Christian men and women (even some pastors) who treated their families in despicable ways yet outwardly looked squeaky clean. I was honestly repulsed by this and don't feel guilty for that reaction as it was shared by Jesus. Matthew 23:25 is one example: "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence."
The point is that we are living like hypocrites when we rush around making sure the house is just-so before company arrives, yet we couldn't care less if our family has to live in a sty. The same is true if we plan lovely homemade meals for guests, but only have time for frozen pizza for our families. We're being hypocrites if we're cheerful and complimentary when a friend calls, but we're angry and critical the rest of the time.
I have had the opportunity a couple of times to have my home and children profiled for TV. As I ran around making sure the house looked good and issuing threats to the children for saying the wrong thing, I knew I was being a phony. I just tried not to think about it too much. I told myself I needed to be able to be relaxed and real in my own home. That's true enough. I am not suggesting that there aren't times when it's okay for our homes to look lived in. I remember once someone barging into my bedroom when I was nursing my first newborn. She looked at the laundry in the room and said, "Don't feel bad." I thought, "I don't."
But all things being equal, aren't there times when our family deserves our best behavior that we often save for others? I think so. Some of you may be thinking, "My home is a mess no matter who's there and I don't care." Then I have another question for those of you who are Christians. Would you care if Jesus were a guest in your home? Would He be able to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant"? If not, it's time to get rid of the baloney and make some changes. Stop making excuses and make your home a haven for those you love most. I plan to.
Mel, I love today’s post. Your words are so true, and we can all learn from it. Thanks 🙂
-Barbie
I had to smile when I read your post. We are having unexpected out of state company tonight to spend the week with us. What a flurry of shopping, laundry, bed stripping etc. etc. I sat down for a break and there on the floor was a trail of mud that my dh had tracked in on the clean floor that I had just mopped up. Itis still there. He laughed when I said something to him and he said it must have been me that did it. I thought I may sweep it up and again I may not. I hope they are coming to see us, not the clean house. Thanks for your post, Honey
It’s all about balance, right Mom? I know people who grew up with obsessive cleaners and that did them no favors.
Thanks, Barbie!
Well, our house is actually pretty much clean all the time, though the kids love to dump their stuff RIGHT INSIDE THE DOOR. Neither Dianne or I really leave anything around and we hound the kids to put their daily stuff away frequently. But we ARE guilty of the dinner thing, on a regular basis.
This post is kind of like that advice that says “Use the good china!”
I just think how nice it feels when the house and yard and ? is all nice for a “special occasion” and agree with you – why not have that feeling for us on a “normal” night?
What a great post Melanie. You are so right. Our families deserve the best. Fortunately, we are at a point where we are always picking up, packing up, or cleaning up (when your house is “for sale” those things are a must). I’d have to add that some things have become habit now and perhaps installed new habits for our family. Blessings on your home making!
Gregg, you’re right about the “use the good china.” I had so much fun doing that at Thanksgiving. With respect to meals, it requires planning, doesn’t it? I’ve been talking with friends about doing a freezer meal prep day. That helps a lot and I’ve used freezer meals for guests that have been fab. Thanks so much for your comment!
Hey, Donna! Thanks for your comments. I’m sure keeping a house in for-sale condition helps to develop good habits. I’ve told the kids to pick something up every time they leave a room. Don’t know that they’re doing it yet. lol