On Saturday morning, my 7-year-old son and I had breakfast at Waffle House so we could enjoy some special one-on-one time. I shared with him fond memories of my dad taking me out for a cinnamon roll on special Saturday mornings and asked him to imagine what is was like for me at his age having only one sibling, not five!
If you’ve never been to a Waffle House, allow me to describe it for you. It’s a tiny old-fashioned hash-slinger restaurant with booths and stools surround the grill and windows encapsulating it all. I haven’t been to this Waffle House in years, because until recently, there was very little I could eat there. Today I rejoiced that I could eat freely and enjoy my son’s company. Against my own advice, I expected as much. What I didn’t expect was to see everyone else at the Waffle House rejoicing, too.
As each new customer entered the restaurant, their name was called out as though everyone were thrilled that they had come. It reminded me of the cries of “Norm!” from the old TV sitcom, “Cheers.” Obviously, most of the people who walked in were regular customers. I noticed that some of them looked tired coming in from the parking lot, but were all smiles as they were greeted. The new faces were welcomed as enthusiastically as the old. One man came through the door carrying a bouquet of flowers. He gave them to a waitress wishing her a happy birthday. She hugged him and I was astonished to hear her not only thank the man, but to affirm him as always being generous and thoughtful. Everyone in the place appeared to be happy and I found myself wishing that I were a regular customer.
I wondered whether this scene will be replayed on Sunday morning. I was sure it would be. I had to ask myself why anyone would want to come to my church on Sunday mornings when they could come to the Waffle House? Ouch. I have many friends at church. I am greeted warmly at my church. But not in a Waffle House kind of way. And sadly, I must admit that I also do not greet others in a Waffle House kind of way.
I continued to wonder in the Waffle House. I wondered how many people walk into my church tired and leave tired, too. I wondered how many people have birthdays that aren’t acknowledged. I wondered how many people think their heavenly Father doesn’t love them in a Waffle House kind of way. But one thing I didn’t wonder is why more people don’t come to church on Sunday mornings.
As I wandered out of the Waffle House, I wondered what would happen if I began loving people at church in a Waffle House kind of way. I wondered what would happen if we all began loving people in a Waffle House kind of way. In that spirit, thanks for joining me here on my blog. You made my day!
We are doing an excellent Bible study on Sunday mornings called, “When the Game’s Over, It All Goes Back in the Box.” The session this week was about score keeping. In a God-incidence, the teacher, John Ortberg, talked about the game of tennis being won in our minds.
This weekend I started getting nervous thinking about playing in the tennis league again today. I practiced serving over and over on Saturday and felt like I would be hopeless come Monday morning! I realized in Bible study that my problem is I never stop keeping score. I constantly compare myself to others and end up feeling like a superior winner or like an inferior loser.
I’m afraid I’m not alone in my score-keeping habit. My Facebook news list is more than halfway filled with people’s game scores. I started off making a list of all the ways we compete, but I can’t really think of any way we don’t? Can you?It’s good-natured fun, but even when I scrapbook in a group, we compare how many pages we’ve completed! The problem with score-keeping is it feeds our pride, even if we suffer for comparison. The emphasis in competition is always on “me.”
This morning I was determined to be anxiety-free playing tennis. I was reassured reading an online article about the mental game of tennis that explained improvement. It seems we often expect tennis mastery to proceed in a linear fashion when like so many other things, it involves steps backward and plateaus. I also considered my thoughts about playing. I realized that the world wouldn’t come to an end if I double faulted every game. The ladies wouldn’t hate me because I would pull all their scores down equally. I also decided to have fun. After all, that’s why I had joined the league. Not so I could claim “best player of the league” status. Who would really care?
So how did I rate? I didn’t win any more games than I won last week, but I had so much more fun. I wasn’t nervous and noticed that no one else was serving with blazing speed. I also realized that I was a real boost to the other ladies’ egos. I’m sure it made the 81-year-old and the just-had-brain-surgery woman feel great that they could beat a younger gal like me.At least I earned a bonus: a good old-fashioned dose of humility.
Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”
This summer I’ve spent a lot of time learning about nutrition and health. In the process, God has taught me some parallels between organic food and the Christian faith.
Not toxic. Truly organic produce has not been treated with pesticides. Chemicals that increase crop yield can also increase allergic responses, neurological symptoms, and cancer. Organic foods allow us to breathe easier. Are you that kind of mother, sister, daughter, friend or neighbor? Or do you give off fumes that give people fits? Negativity such as anger, gossip, and criticism are toxic to people around us. Like pesticides, the consequences of our sinfulness may not be readily apparent for years, but damage is being done. Galations 5:15 says, “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
Not modified. Organic produce is not genetically modified. The protein makeup of corn, soy, and potatoes are typically changed to create products that are more appealing or profitable. The problem is that these foods may no longer be recognizable to our digestive tracts and will be ejected from our bodies in an unpleasant way. Are you still recognizable as a Christian? Or have you begun living in such a worldly way that no one would know? If we find ourselves adapting to suit the tastes of unbelievers, we may lose the essence of what makes us appealing to God. John 15:19 reads, “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world…”
No preservatives. Organic food does not rely on additives to keep it fresh for long periods. A longer shelf life is gained at the expense of good nutrition. A sufficient intake of vitamins and minerals can only be gained from fresh food. The increasing incidence of obesity belies the fact that adequate nourishment is lacking. Without adequate nourishment, we become ill. Are you salt, a natural preservative, to those who know you? Or are you more concerned with maintaining your own shelf-life? Like salt, we can encourage those we know to taste and see that the Lord is good. Or we can become dead in a faith devoid of good works. Matthew 5:13 tells us, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.”
More valuable. If you know nothing else about organic food, you know it’s more expensive. Refusal to use artificial methods of increasing yields means a lower profit margin for organic farmers. Legal requirements are more stringent and distribution channels are fewer. So we must pay more for organic food. More and more people are willing to pay more because they value their health. However, the expectations for that produce are higher, too. We expect organic foods to be labeled honestly and to be produced with integrity. Are you living in a way worthy of the Christian label? Or are you living more like a cheap imitation? No matter how you answer the questions, there is cause for rejoicing. God finds you so valuable that He was willing to pay the ultimate price for you: His Son. 1 Corinthians 6:20 reminds us, “You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
Eating more organic foods may improve your physical health, but to improve your spiritual health, try living as an organic Christian.
Research on resolutions is very instructive when it comes to traditional to-do lists. It turns out that motivation to fulfill a resolution such as losing weight or getting in shape goes down after we look into diets or check out gyms. The act of doing something–anything–relieves the anxiety that moved us to make the resolution in the first place.
I was familiar with this phenomenon when I counseled anxious clients. One exercise I often assigned was to write down everything that brought on fear or worry. Next to each item clients were to write down one thing they planned to do about it. Next to "afraid I'll get colon cancer" might be "schedule colonoscopy" or "pray about it tomorrow." Even if no action were taken, anxiety often disappeared simply because it was written and a plan made.
How does this apply to to-do lists? I bet you already know. Many of us use a to-do list like the anxiety exercise I used in psychotherapy. We write down what we plan to do and we feel less anxious. Because we feel less anxious, we may be less likely to do the tasks. As I've continued to do life without my trusty to-do list, I've noticed that I feel tempted to write things down when I am anxious. Instead of succumbing to this habit, I've forced myself to simply do the tasks that occur to me in the moment. In this way, I use the tension for my benefit. How many times have you written things down only to forget about them? Because I fear that I may not remember them later, I do them right away.
Would you rather be less anxious and not productive or a little more tense as you get things done?
Are you ready for a new show? Fall is when the new television programming starts. Before I was a crazy busy homeschooling mom of six, I looked forward to this. Now I watch a couple of shows that start in January and that’s it. Even so, I get tired of reruns.
This morning I watched a rerun while playing tennis for the first time on a league. I haven’t taken lessons or played regularly in 11 years! I’m not particularly talented, but I enjoy playing and have looked forward to the day that I could join a league. My life circumstances (and my hubby) finally permitted it, so I signed up.
You wouldn’t think a woman who feels comfortable speaking to large groups of people would be anxious playing tennis with three older ladies, but yep. I was. I kept trying to turn off the reruns in my head, but they kept playing. Like it or not (I didn’t), I was ten years old again. I had messed something up in my P.E. class and was then ridiculed mercilessly. I was a kid again, standing there shaking as I waited endlessly for one of the team captains to choose me.
I wasn’t a horrible athlete growing up. That wasn’t what provoked the anxiety all those years ago and that wasn’t what provoked it this morning. My classmates’ critical voices brought on the fear. This morning I could hear them again, flowing from my fellow tennis players’ heads. “Why does she have to be my partner?” “What is she doing playing in a league if she can’t even serve?” “Who does she think she is?”
The more I listened to this imaginary broadcast, the worse I played. The worse I played, the more anxious I got. After a while, I couldn’t hear the kid voices anymore. All I heard was me. “You’re such an idiot.” “Why didn’t you practice more?” “You’re not league material.” My voice was so loud in my head that it drowned out the ladies encouragement of “good shot” and their own apologies for missing the ball.
As I walked to my car, I decided I was really tired of this rerun. I have the dialogue memorized. Tennis isn’t the only place I watch reruns. So often we automatically play the part we played as a child or in a past relationship without even thinking. We assign our friends and loved ones the roles of the nemesis of the past and then act surprised when the resolution of our life story is the same.
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for a new show. Next week’s tennis league will be the premiere! I’ll let you know how it rates.
My husband and I were discussing Paul's mandate from 1 Timothy 2:1-4 that we pray for our nation's leaders first. In Secrets of a Prayer Warrior, Derek Prince writes, "Out of the whole human race, for whom are we to pray first? Is it for the missionary? The evangelist? The sick? No, and this is where the great majority of Christians are out of line with the revealed will of God. They do not put God's priority first…Have you realized that your primary responsibility in prayer is to pray for the government of your nation? My observation is that in multitudes of churches the people never think about that, even once a month. Yet Paul put it first."
As I sought to pray for our nation's leaders this morning, I had a new revelation. I have prayed for our leaders to have wisdom. I have prayed that our leaders would repent. I have even prayed that they would be blessed. But I have never prayed that they would be forgiven. It didn't take long to figure out what that was all about. I've wanted those who have misused their authority to get what is coming to them.
Sure, I have long understood that the only way I can be healthy and forgiven myself is to forgive others. I have not been harboring any grudges against Jimmy Carter, I can tell you! I don't even feel bitter toward more recent leaders I haven't agreed with. But I haven't done what Jesus did while in agony on the cross. I haven't asked my heavenly Father to forgive our nation's authorities.
This morning I did just that and it felt so good. In fact, I experienced such freedom in requesting forgiveness for our leaders that I started wondering if I needed to generalize. Sure enough, though I have believed I have forgiven so many people in my life of so many things, I secretly hold on to the idea that these evildoers will get what's coming to them in the end. That isn't true forgiveness, is it? I certainly don't want anyone hoping that I'll get what's coming to me!
If the thought of asking God to forgive our nation's leaders turns your stomach, read the account of King Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel. This is one of my favorite accounts of a stubborn, arrogant, even cruel man who was changed and forgiven by our awesome God. I have spoken to people who tell me it just doesn't seem fair that people like that can be forgiven and saved. I am so thankful our God doesn't deal fairly with me and deny me eternal life based on my every wrong, aren't you?
Derek Prince writes that in praying for our government, we are asking God for the freedom to live as His ambassadors in a fallen world. When we also pray for those who have wronged us, we are asking God for freedom from the emotional, physical, and spiritual pain we have suffered at the hands of others. I believe He will answer our prayers.
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
