I promised you another book review and here it is!
Years ago, I met Shelley through an online writers group. She was looking for a psychologist to do a little writing for her humorous look at the subject of mental health. I was more than happy to oblige! I read Shelley's book and laughed out loud. That says a lot! I rarely laugh out loud at books.
I got to know Shelley and understood why I was laughing: she is very, very funny! She's the only person who's ever written a Christmas letter that I think should be published! Although the book is funny, it deals with a serious subject that Shelley is intimately familiar with. She does a great job at attacking the stigma by being brutally honest.
The book is funny, Shelley is funny, I had great fun writing for her, but that is where the fun part quit until now. Although Shelley was encouraged by many, many publishers, none of them would take the book and run with it. Shelley gave up. When I had a good experience self-publishing, I told Shelley to do the same. So many people I have mentioned her book to had asked, "Where is it? I want it!" So in fairly short order, Shelley has her book published and ready to sell on Amazon. If you know anyone who's not OK, this would make a great Christmas gift!
Check out Shelley's website to read an excerpt of the book and take time to read her blog. She's a riot. I have no doubt that Shelley will be A-OK with you!
I just have to tell you how excited I am about a great book for women and girls: Sarah's Garden. My friend Deb and my friend Gregg's daughter, Rebecca, have authored a fabulous new book. The story is a parable of God's love for us and the illustrations are stunning. You'll be even more stunned when you realize that the illustrations were done by a 12-year-old! You can purchase it here. Proceeds will provide a scholarship fund for aspiring artists. How cool is that?
It's been an exciting journey to see this book born. Deb is in my writer's group. I heard her use this parable in a talk she gave at our women's retreat years ago. Because of the good experience I had in self-publishing (especially because I'm also a speaker), I encouraged Deb to get it published. Seeing the progression in Rebecca's art has been something to behold! I have a hard time getting excited about my kids' art now, I tell you! She has truly been gifted by God. I'm so proud of how hard Deb worked to get this book formatted for publication. It was a challenge! Deb named the princess in the book Sarah, after her recently departed mother who was also an artist.
Buy this book as a Christmas gift for any ladies on your list (or for you!) and you'll be blessed.
My next post will be about another book recently published by another friend. You won't want to miss it!
I've gotten a lot of feedback on my Twilight review and wanted to update you.
First, I talked with someone whose daughter has read the books and she hasn't. She thanked me profusely for my feedback and borrowed my book so she can read it and discuss it with her daughter. I think using this as a means of generating discussion about relationships with your daughters is excellent!
Second, I've heard from some people that they don't want me raining on their Edward parade. LOL I totally get that! I definitely enjoyed the book. Some of us know that there are no men like Edward, but we'd like to indulge the fantasy.
Third, I've heard from some that the books actually get better in terms of moral behavior, i.e. Edward actually resists a sexual relationship as Solomon does in the Song of Solomon (also a great book that can be found in the Bible). I anticipate reading more of the books in the series and may give further reviews in the future.
Finally, I've heard from some that they totally agree with me. One concern I have is this–that my concerns could be used to judge others. I am so grateful that as a Christian I am free from the law. There are Christians who would be very unhappy with many of the choices I make. I gave my review not to sit in judgement of those who read these books or allow their children to, but as food for thought. I trust God enough to allow Him to guide your choices as He does mine. Any finger pointing I do needs to be done in a mirror. 🙂
I figure Halloween is as good a time as any to discuss the vampire book craze! My 17yo babysitter is wild about this series. She's been telling me forever that I need to read them. And it's caught on with many of my friends at church as well as lots of teenage girls. So I finally made time to start it. I was up until 2:30 a.m. one night finishing! You might want to check out my friend, Gregg's blog for a humorous take on this girly obsession.
Obviously, it's an engaging book. I don't stay up all night reading boring books. I enjoyed it a lot. BUT… You probably knew that was coming. 🙂
But, I have some concerns I wanted to share with you. I will note when my concerns will also spoil the book in case you haven't read it.
First, the book is a sad commentary on family life today. The 17yo main character fends for herself. Not only that, she must protect her divorced, inept parents. My heart aches for young people in this position and I'm quite sure there is more truth than fiction in this depiction. However, I wouldn't feel comfortable with my daughter reading this book for this reason alone. I do not want her to imagine (any more than may occur naturally) that her parents are clueless and incompetent so that she has to make her own choices. Could you discuss this issue with your daughter before she reads the book? Yes, but if I had any concerns that she was in a rebellious phase, I wouldn't do it.
Second, the book, like every other romance (in my opinion) portrays an unrealistic view of men that leads to disappointment and even divorce. The fact that the 17yo's boyfriend is a vampire is unrealistic. Of course. LOL But honestly, everything else about him is more unrealistic than that! Before I present some spoilers, let me just say that I honestly believe romantic books and movies create discontent in women the way scantily clad women and car advertisements create discontent in men.
I've counseled enough engaged women to know that although they know these romantic expectations aren't realistic, they still cling to them. I know I did! I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I wanted it ALL. And though I am married to the hunkiest, toughest man (he's a black belt in jujitsu), who's a great father, provider, and friend, he just isn't ALL.
In So You're Not Wonder Woman, I talk about a vision God gave me of what really happened on my wedding day. I was in my wedding gown, walking down the aisle when suddenly I saw Him–the Groom of my dreams. I know it sounds so corny, but I was marrying Jesus! The look in His eyes still blows me away. I knew beyond a doubt that He would never hurt or disappoint me. He loved me with every fiber of His being and I loved Him more than I've ever loved anyone. I was ready to seal the deal! But then he looked to my right. I followed His eyes and there was my husband in his tux waiting to marry me. Um, he wasn't exactly ALL I wanted. Jesus told me with His eyes that He wanted me to marry my husband. I didn't want to. I knew this very human man would hurt and disappoint me in countless ways! But Jesus insisted, reassuring me that He would be with me always, filling up the empty places and comforting me in the painful, lonely times in my marriage.
Since then, Jesus has been so much more to me than Edward, the vampire boyfriend, could ever be. Reading Twilight was actually a wonderful reminder to me of the passion that I have for Jesus. So if you like Edward, give Jesus your time and attention! He's never tempted to suck your blood.
Now for some spoiler concerns…
Okay, Edward is a phenomenal dresser. You KNOW that isn't realistic. I'm just happy when my husband isn't wearing two conflicting plaids.
Next, he asks the girl questions about herself for two days straight. Any married woman will tell you that she's ecstatic if she's asked a couple of questions about herself in a row and not about where his socks or dinner are!
My serious concern with teen girls reading this book is although there are no sex scenes, the scenes that are there are highly erotic. If I had teenage hormones, I could be scarier than a vampire after reading this book! Not to mention the fact that the main character has her boyfriend IN HER BEDROOM while her father is downstairs. And as the reader, you are really hoping she gets away with it! Not what I want my teenagers to be cheering for.
Finally, you have a teen girl willing to give up everything for a guy and again, the reader is cheering for her! Yikes. Giving up your life for a vampire is cool, so why not turn your back on your faith if you fall in love with an atheist? Why not run away if your parents don't like your boyfriend?
Don't get me wrong. I am not a book burner. I'm a book lover! I so enjoy reading a good book now and then. But books can change us. Beware…not of vampires, but of the scary ideas some books can teach us when we're not looking.
Last week I opened my refrigerator and was greeted with the unexpected. This post title reminds me of something Erma Bombeck would write and I loved Erma.
My 4yo daughter lovingly placed this "flower" in some water to keep it fresh. I vaguely remember her saying, "Mom, I picked you a flower and I'll put it in some water." I honestly wasn't paying much attention. The moment I saw this, I smiled and then wanted to cry.
Was it guilt? I guess so. A little anyway. I was probably busy writing a blog post when she wanted me to notice the gift she had bestowed on me. I was touched by her love for me, despite my inattention. I was also moved by what I felt was a sign from God.
God pulls weeds from my life–things that keep it from being the beautiful, thriving life He wants it to be–and He tries to gently show them to me. When I tell Him I'm too busy to pay attention to the weeds, He puts them where I'm sure to see them. He doesn't put up a WANTED poster listing all my lawless, evil deeds. Instead, he puts a dandelion in my refrigerator, like a note saying, "I love you. Let's look at this. Together."
For the past several weeks, I have been leading a Bible study using my book, So You’re Not Wonder Woman. The most popular desired life change in our group is weight loss. One of the Wonder Women in the group said she ate to reward herself. And not only that, it seemed like food was the only really rewarding thing in her life. We brainstormed with her for calorie-free rewards and we prayed that God would be her reward.
We Need Rewards
But in thinking more about rewards, I realized I am in need of more of them in my life, too. Can you relate? I have been so enjoying using Things as my task list on my iPhone. I get great satisfaction from checking off my tasks one by one. While I look forward to checking off my tasks, I feel much less inclined to do the things I have to do every day that are checkmark-free (e.g., teaching, laundry, meals, clean up). In years past, I so desired a reward for completing some task that I grabbed a treat whether or not I was hungry. I no longer eat as a treat, but I’m hungry for rewards just the same. Strangely, my children don’t praise me for each lesson taught, every meal made, and every load of laundry folded. My husband, though often complementary, also can’t keep up with my voracious appetite for positive feedback.
Although it’s true that I ought to be content with God’s approval of my service, I find myself so frequently looking for a reward anyway. Unfortunately, the rewards I seek often draw me away from the schedule that I prayerfully developed to deal with numerous demands. The schedule works and when I don’t use it, I don’t.
A Better Reward
So I decided to try something simple this week. And it wasn’t a new brownie recipe! Though since I keep talking about brownies, here’s a guilt-free recipe:
I decided to add my scheduled activities and regular chores to my task list. Now I have things like “Make lunch and clean up” and “Give kids a bath” in Things to check off. Knowing that I can check it off and subsequently add it to my task log for the day encourages me. I may be disappointed by not getting to everything I had planned. But by recording even routine activities, I see how very much I accomplished anyway. Of course, I would like it even better if I got applause and whistles for each checkmark. Hm. I may be on to something here!
This method of rewarding yourself can be just as effective using any other electronic (the HomeRoutines app is great for this!) or paper task list of your choice. If you have a hard time getting through rush hour traffic, a boring meeting, or your kids’ bedtime routine, add it to your list and check it off with pride. Brownies are good, too, but add to the waistline and the weight of guilt for many of us.
As a fat-free alternative, checkmarks are a delicious treat. Try them and let me know if they suit your tastes.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
