I remember my high school class motto because we borrowed my mother’s high school motto:
Give the world the best you have and the best will come back to you.
While being able to summarize what your high school class is all about is of questionable importance, being able to summarize what YOU are all about is very important.
Unlike a bucket list, a list of your lifetime goals, or a description of your blog or business, a motto communicates in one sentence or more what you want people to know.
I have read about the importance of a simple description for blogs so people know what to expect. I have struggled to really refine my own tagline, but the recent survey I did of what people want to see in my blog suggested people either didn’t care or wanted me to keep my broad focus.
But only recently did I read about summarizing your whole existence in one motto. Surprisingly, it’s easy for me to give you my life motto–the sentence I’d be okay with having on my headstone, the words I want my children to know, the truth I want to share with the world.
I have a Ph.D. in psychology and experienced nearly every problem that plagues modern women: overeating, disorganization, messed up relationships, depression and out-of-control finances. My smarts and the knowledge gained from the field of psychology did nothing to help me. Nothing. In fact, I think it drove me deeper into depression. And no wonder.
Therefore once more I will astound these people with wonder upon wonder; the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish.” (Isaiah 29:14)
Although people are impressed by my education and I understand that, I’m only impressed with the God who forgave me for the sake of His Son, Jesus, and then transformed me.
My prayer is that even if you don’t believe my motto, you’ll know that I do. I have nothing to offer you, but God has wisdom, help, and hope for you. If He uses me to share out of the abundance of His riches with you, I am blessed.
One of the most common questions I get from young mothers is how to find time for personal devotions. We all know how vitally important it is for having the energy we need to do all that we do, but when you’re up multiple times feeding a baby, awakened early by a toddler, and even chased into the bathroom by your kids, how can you find the time?
I’ve been there. But I had very little distress about my devotional life during that particular season of motherhood (my youngest is now six). Here’s why:
I Redefined Personal Devotions
Is devotional time an hour spent in your quiet spot reading the Bible, completing in-depth Bible study assignments, and praying over every need in neatly organized categories? Sure, but devotions can take many different forms.
Having devotions can also mean taking minutes, seconds even, to connect with the Lord. It can mean meditating on just one Scripture throughout the day. It can mean talking to God out loud while your children observe you. “Help me!” may be all you manage to eek out. It can mean forgoing formal Bible study during this season of your life. It can mean reading a brief devotion online while going through email. Devotional time can be praying with your husband at bedtime. It can be singing or playing an instrument. It can even be devotions that you share with your children. Susanna Wesley is said to have found time to pray by sitting amidst her children with her apron thrown over her head: Susanna Wesley (Women of Faith (Bethany House))
The best thing I can say to you tired, time-pressed mom is not to feel bad. The Lord knows you are in a season of your life that requires much of you. He is caring for you and hearing the Spirit groan for you on your behalf even when your lips aren’t moving.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans (Romans 8:26).
But What if You are Desperate for More Time?
Ask for help. Ask your husband to give you some time so you can read the Bible and pray alone. I hired our niece to come and help out one afternoon a week. A moms’ Bible study group I was in often hired sitters so we could study and discuss God’s Word without interruption.
Pray about it. Ask the Lord to give you more time with Him. He may get you up early, but not the littles! I firmly believe that He answers these prayers–just not always the way we expect.
Be content. I used to be frustrated that I couldn’t do more of the reading and studying I wanted to do. Now I have more time and I wonder what I fussed about. Even now, though, busy as I am, I pray and read one chapter of the Bible per day and then read Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary on it. This process takes me just half an hour. The rest of my devotional time is spent with my family and church.
Do you have other advice for young moms looking for ways to spend time with the Lord?
TaskCurrent allows you to sign up for streams–a topic-focused series of mini blog posts with associated to-do’s. These are like little shots of wisdom and advice that take no time to read.
I’ve created one stream for new homeschoolers and those who love them.
If you’re brand new to homeschooling, you will love my How to Homeschool stream as it makes the process very simple, with the best resources to get you started. But if you’re a veteran, you’ll love my stream, too. It’s the perfect thing to recommend to people who ask you how to get started homeschooling. Have I mentioned that it’s free? You’ll find it in the education category.
I’ve also created two streams for motivating you in fitness and relationships.
The first is 15 Days of Fitness Inspiration. I’ve collected 15 videos, articles, and blog posts that will help you finally get fit. It’s like 5-hour Energy for fitness, without the shakes and insomnia. You’ll find it in the Health & Fitness Category.
The second stream I authored that may be of interest is a series on dealing with difficult people. I combined a number of blog posts I’ve written on the topic into a series of advice. Unfortunately, this has been a really popular topic for me! You’ll find it in the Relationships Category.
I will have more streams available in the future, but for now:
If you like my streams, please rate them. (If you don’t like them, I don’t mind if you’re too busy to rate.)
When you share this on your favorite social media, you will help people find my streams (and other helpful streams) on TaskCurrent and God willing, help change people’s lives. Thanks in advance for helping me help others!
TaskCurrent allows you to sign up for streams–a topic-focused series of mini blog posts with associated to-do’s. These are like little shots of wisdom and advice that take no time to read.
I’ve created two streams in particular that I think you will like.
The first is 15 Days of Fitness Inspiration. You’ll find it in the Health & Fitness category. I’ve collected 15 videos, articles, and blog posts that will help you finally get fit. It’s like 5-hour Energy for fitness, without the shakes and insomnia. Oh, and it’s free.
The second stream I authored that may be of interest is a series on dealing with difficult people. You’ll find this in the Relationships category. I combined a number of blog posts I’ve written on the topic into a series of advice. It’s one of the most popular subjects I speak about.
I will have more streams available in the future, but for now:
If you like my streams, please rate them. (If you don’t like them, I don’t mind if you’re too busy to rate.)
When you share this on your favorite social media, you will help people find my streams (and other helpful streams) on TaskCurrent and God willing, help change people’s lives. Thanks in advance for helping me help others!
No, it wasn’t the heat that got to me, although 108 degrees Fahrenheit is enough to have anyone crying uncle. Instead, I realized that while being more mindful of spending time outside and playing with the kids is a great idea, feeling obligated to spend at least 15 minutes outside every single day isn’t a great idea.
Besides, I’ve realized that I do okay with spending time outside with the kids except when it’s cold. I don’t think that Rebecca Cohen’s recommendation in Fifteen Minutes Outside: 365 Ways to Get Out of the House and Connect with Your Kids to make sure you have really warm clothes is going to get this cold-blooded woman out there every day.
I also had the notion that I could come up with new and fun things to do with the kids EVERY DAY. Not what I needed to add to an already crowded routine. The fact is we’re going to be doing a lot of the same-old, same-old and I’m okay with that. You might not be! So this is my last installment. Fortunately, it’s a good one.
Caleb with his aunt and uncle at the zoo
We enjoyed some time at the zoo with the kids’ aunt and uncle before the weather got hot. We’re looking forward to seeing the new sea lion exhibit that another uncle helped plan.
Caleb and I went to Colorado Springs for the national homeschool speech and debate tournament before the terrible forest fires ravaged the area. We enjoyed the Garden of the Gods, the Air Force Academy, and Pike’s Peak.
This shot of a little tree growing reminded me of this Scripture.
This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will take a shoot from the very top of a cedar and plant it; I will break off a tender sprig from its topmost shoots and plant it on a high and lofty mountain. (Ezekiel 17:22)
View of the road on Pike’s Peak, Colorado
On the way down from Pike’s Peak, we had been advised to use 1st or 2nd gear. I am not a real brainiac when it comes to things like this, so when I saw that our car only had an L gear, I kept it in drive. About a quarter of the way down the mountain, a park ranger checked our brake temperature and found it was more than twice the acceptable limit. We had to pull over and let them cool for 45 minutes or risk having them go out on us.
This incident got me thinking. How many times have I ignored advice to shift into low gear and then I’m in danger of giving out? The last few months I’ve been riding my brakes down the mountain and got sick. I’m “cooling off” before I get back onto the road and when I do, I’ll be proceeding in low gear.
I put lots of projects off until the summer when I will supposedly have more time. My husband works teachers’ hours and has most of the summer off. He enjoys being what I call “The Crazed Cruise Director.” He has lots and lots of plans for us to have lots and lots of fun. And while we all have a good time, every fall I find myself asking what I got accomplished during the summer. The fact is, I need to stop procrastinating, imagining that I’ll be able to do it all come summer.
I see the same procrastination habit in my children. They have to get their school work and chores done during the day, but they typically wait until the last minute when my husband typically announces we are off to do something fun. Again, while we all enjoy our free time, I find myself frustrated that important work isn’t getting done.
Do you put things off until the summer or the end of the day? Do your children? Does procrastination frustrate you like it does me? If so, read on.
While I put things off, I think a lot about why I do. I wrote about procrastination that is based on our dislike for obligations. Anything we have to do, we don’t typically like to do, so we avoid it. I give you some suggestions for coping with this type of procrastination on my Not Wonder Woman blog for Christian women.
But there’s more to understanding and defeating procrastination.
First, we have to address the argument often made that we procrastinate because we work better under pressure.
Not so, say psychologists. Did we really need a psychologist to tell us the truth about our last-minute, panick-stricken work episodes? I think not. Deep down, we know that this way of working is inefficient and just plain stressful. Like any bad habit, I believe it also diminishes our self-esteem.
If we aren’t procrastinating because it’s more effective, why are we? The simplest explanation is that we will always do what is most rewarding now, rather than later. What’s most rewarding now isn’t for your child to do the math worksheet he doesn’t enjoy. What’s most rewarding now isn’t for you to make breakfast for tomorrow. What’s most rewarding now is for your child to run around pretending to be a cowboy and what’s most rewarding now for you is to surf the Web.
The reward we get for not doing the less pleasant work now can create a habit–a bad one.
Second, we have to break the habit of procrastination.
Don’t shame yourself or your child. It’s natural for us to do the most rewarding tasks first. What goes against the grain is building our skills at delayed gratification. Even though it’s challenging, you and your child can break the habit.
Take small steps. The website, tinyhabits, explains how we can be successful in changing our habits by making the changes very, very tiny. You might have your child start by doing just one math problem and you could just decide what to make for breakfast.
Reward them. We develop the habit of procrastination because it’s rewarding. To change the habit, we have to reward our new work behavior. You could congratulate your child or give him a sticker after doing one math problem. You could give yourself a piece of sugar-free gum or put an X on your calendar as a reward. Even an “Atta, girl!” can work wonders.
Make the long-term reward more visible. The reason the allure of playing cowboy is greater than doing a math worksheet is because your child can’t see the positives in being good at math. To help him, you might read from a book like Mathematicians Are People, Too: Stories from the Lives of Great Mathematicians. Or you might simply tell Dad how smart he is getting at math which will enable him to do a special math-related activity with dad (e.g., build something). For yourself, you might read a list of reasons you want breakfast made ahead of time each evening. I use my iPhone to give myself reminders at critical times for habits I want to change. I might use something like, “Remember how nice it will be to have a healthy breakfast already made when you get up.”
With just a little effort, you can break the procrastination habit in you and your child. Don’t postpone it!
How have you been able to break the procrastination habit?
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
