I have mentioned before that I use the IPhone app "Spend" to keep track of my kids' allowance. I also wanted to mention how I use it in my parenting in general. This approach can easily be used with a desktop computer or a notebook, too. I just don't like doing all the math with six kids!
I give my kids an allowance of 50 cents per year of age a week. So my eight year old gets $4 a week. Of that, they are to give at least 10% to God. I used to have at least a 10% savings rule, but most of the kids do really, really well with savings. I was also giving them interest for savings, but I was in danger of going bankrupt! The kids use their money for extras–like a shake or a happy meal if we get fast food. Or for music downloads on ITunes.
When the kids do something exceptional, I give them bonuses which is 10% of their weekly allowance. It makes it fair and it's easy to remember. This afternoon, the 4yo asked the 6yo if he wanted to sit in her chair at the nursing home. I about fell OFF my chair! That was definitely bonus worthy. On the other hand, when they do something unacceptable, they are fined 10% of their allowance. Just today I increased the fine for physical injury to 20%. I'm adopting a no tolerance policy. I'll have less hitting and if not, at least I'll have more money. 🙂 Actually, the way it works is the injured party gets the payment from the perpetrator–just like in adult life.
This kind of system may not work for you if your kids aren't motivated by money. My kids cry and cry if they get a fine. Works for me!
I've gotten a lot of feedback on my Twilight review and wanted to update you.
First, I talked with someone whose daughter has read the books and she hasn't. She thanked me profusely for my feedback and borrowed my book so she can read it and discuss it with her daughter. I think using this as a means of generating discussion about relationships with your daughters is excellent!
Second, I've heard from some people that they don't want me raining on their Edward parade. LOL I totally get that! I definitely enjoyed the book. Some of us know that there are no men like Edward, but we'd like to indulge the fantasy.
Third, I've heard from some that the books actually get better in terms of moral behavior, i.e. Edward actually resists a sexual relationship as Solomon does in the Song of Solomon (also a great book that can be found in the Bible). I anticipate reading more of the books in the series and may give further reviews in the future.
Finally, I've heard from some that they totally agree with me. One concern I have is this–that my concerns could be used to judge others. I am so grateful that as a Christian I am free from the law. There are Christians who would be very unhappy with many of the choices I make. I gave my review not to sit in judgement of those who read these books or allow their children to, but as food for thought. I trust God enough to allow Him to guide your choices as He does mine. Any finger pointing I do needs to be done in a mirror. 🙂
The day started with church. The most fascinating thing about church for the kids is the donuts and snacks they get afterward. Today the 4yo was given a balloon animal before the service that became the center of a custody battle during worship. Like things at the center of a custody battle sometimes do, it fell apart. I had to remove it to the hallway so the disputing parties could focus. I was thrilled that I forgot my carefully packed church bag with all the pencils and crayons in it. Because I did, I had the pleasure of watching the kids dig my expensive gel pens into the paper through to the hymnals they were using as “desks.”
We were eager to get home and eat before the boys’ football games. We were well on our way when someone asked where the 10yo was. We turned around wondering why it took so long for anyone to notice. During lunch, my friend Melva called wanting to know if we had seen a craft sitting on the bench by the front doors of the church. Turns out we had visitors to our church who had a child who was crushed when her Children’s Worship craft disappeared. Yes, we took it, but not our son.
While dh and the boys went to more flag football games, I tried to escape a screaming toddler and a cone-wielding dog and get the house cleaned up. I am so over the dog cone. Daisy is much more energetic now and continually rams my bare legs and feet with that thing.
You’d think I’d like having the boys gone while I clean, but I honestly need their help! It took me a lot longer working alone. I wasn’t really alone though. I had my Dyson. The Dyson has been a great purchase. I think in normal homes, it sounds like a quiet jet engine. At my house, it sounds more like a popcorn popper. Whatever works! I wanted to get caught up on laundry, too. My reward for my hastiness was discovering I had washed a diaper. Diaper droppings are like the anti-manna. It ain’t sweet and it lasts much longer than a day.
With the 2yo in bed, I sat down to get my blogging done. That’s when the doorbell rang. It was a man handing out political flyers. He asked who I was voting for in our local elections. In the process of confronting me about my poor choice, he shared that he was recently unemployed and had voted for the right to carry concealed weapons. Okay. Who do you want me to vote for again? After carefully locking my door, I set about to help my dear friend Deb with her book cover. Her book, Sarah’s Garden, is so fabulous and only needs the cover to be printed correctly through CreateSpace to be done. Deb and the 12yo daughter of my friend Gregg have worked so hard on this book, I just wanted to help get it into proper format if possible.That’s when dh appeared and asked, “Weren’t you going to clean the house today?” I told him I had already cleaned the house. He said, “Oh the upstairs?” Um, no, the downstairs. I developed an immediate attitude problem. I think he wigged out because I told him that Phyllis said I should write my fiction book this month. Or maybe that wasp venom went to his brain? Anyone could see that my house was C-L-E-A-N clean. He later apologized. I think I scared him.
We enjoyed a delicious dinner of salmon and broccoli and then it was family time. My dh’s idea of family time is to get all Tony Little on us and insist that we do push-ups and sit-ups til we can’t move. I snuck away to the back room that was so full of toys and games that had been thrown on the floor in the name of “picking up” that you couldn’t even walk through it. I managed to find 7 boxes of toys to give away. I asked dh to show me his muscles by carrying them up to the garage before the kids could pull them out. I would show you a picture but I want to scream and cry over it. I don’t need a picture to remember this. I have PTSD from it and will see that room in my nightmares until the kids move out. Maybe after, too.
I ended the evening reading the second principle for making the most of today: priorities. Blogging like this has helped me get a handle on those. Of course, I can’t continue to blog this way daily. We’re probably all glad of that! But what I can do is appreciate the humor and the blessings of this crazy family of eight each day. Thank you for sharing a week in my life with me. It helped me stay sane knowing I wasn’t in it alone.
I slept in late (and was glad of it) and was read the riot act for stepping on my son’s ESPN magazines. Notice where the magazines have been left–right next to my dh’s side of the bed. Notice also that they haven’t been moved, even after they’ve been “ruined” by the careless stepper.
For those of you with any continuing illusions about me being a good parent, here’s a picture. It’s noon and not only is the two-year-old still in his jammies, but he’s having a cookie for lunch. I plead weariness. I went for a walk/run in the morning and pretty much spent a couple of hours blogging and posting on blogs. I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up this pace! I am thinking more along the lines of picture of the week from now on. But based on this week, what picture would I choose?
 While I blogged, dh and the boys enjoyed flag football games. I was previously in love with flag football because all games and practices for three boys were just one night a week–same field, same time. Not so this year. I guess I’m supposed to feel guilty that I don’t go to many games. Some of my mom friends who are at every one of their children’s practices and games will say, “I never see you at the games!” *sigh* These are friends who don’t read my blog. Maybe they should and they will know why I’m at home. I do love watching the boys play. It’s just that if I go, I have to entertain little kids who will scream until they get a snack, have to be walked miles to the nearest restroom, and fight over who gets to sit where. Meanwhile, the laundry at home is growing like the fruit fly infestation I had last week. (As an aside, I got rid of these pests by attracting them with an almost empty orange juice pitcher and sucking them up with a dust buster. It just felt good.)
I just have to interject something pretty meaningless here. A few weeks ago, my sister-in-law mentioned how good Honey Crisp apples were. You know how someone says something like that and you think, “Uh-huh. That’s nice for you.” Well, the grocery store had a big display of them with a sign that said, “Honey Crisp apples are finally here!” That lent more credibility to my sister-in-law’s gushing. I paid about $10 an apple I think and bought 4 or 5. They are huge! I ate one and I get now why Eve just had to try that apple. Absolutely delicious! I am a tart apple lover. These aren’t overtly tart, but they’re not blandly sweet either. And now you’re thinking, “Uh-huh. That’s nice for you.”
While I was eating my giant apple and the 2yo a cookie, dd brings me a sign she’s made and says, “Read this.” I don’t know about you, but it’s at this point that I panic. You know if you say you can’t read it, they’ll be crushed. If you guess wrong, they’ll be angry. So I said, “Wow! This is great! Look at all those letters.” Turns out she was trying to reproduce the cover of Harold and the Purple Crayon. I just hope no one plans on reproducing the marker on the carpet mess.
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So my other sister-in-law calls up the night of day 5 and says, “So what time are we hiking tomorrow?” Of course, this is the first time that I’ve heard about the hike we are all going on. No matter that I have a list a mile long of to-do’s! I was tempted to read dh the riot act, but then I remembered something about a good attitude. Oh well. It IS beautiful fall weather and you never know when you’ll have another chance to hike. So hike we did. First I had to talk grandpa into going. He’s having a tough time post-stroke. But we were all thrilled that he walked quite a ways and enjoyed the day. We all enjoyed the indoor nature center, the trail, and had an impromptu talent show in the mini-amphitheater. The neighbor boy came with us and showed us how he could crack his hand bones together so they sounded like maracas. That was actually disturbing.
He spends a lot of time with our family
which honestly confuses me. I’m quite sure his home is quiet and clean. I’m tempted to ask him if I can go to his house and play.
After the hike, it was time for my weekly grocery shopping trip. For quite some time, I’ve only been hitting two grocery stores in order to save money. I was doing three and would like to find time for thatagain soon. Â My daughter has been a frequent companion on my grocery shopping trips lately. I was in a good mood following the hike and thought what a nice “tradition” we had going with the shopping. Then she asked if she could buy something. I had to remind her that she spent all her money at Incredible Pizza and in fact had lost her $5 game card, too. She didn’t take that well. At all.
She produced a loud litany of “I wanna buy something, I wanna buy something” as I struggled to do what a good psychologist/parent would do. I ended up telling her she couldn’t come again if she didn’t stop. That didn’t work. Then I resorted to fining her for every time she said it. If she were more mature in these matters, she would have recognized that fines when you have no money are rather meaningless. She continued to scream louder with each fine. I’d like to tell you what happened after that, but I went to my happy place and I can’t remember. All was calm until she determined that she wouldn’t be allowed to buy anything at the second grocery store either. When we arrived home, we found that dh had managed to get stung by 3 wasps. He wasn’t in the best mood, but it helped when I told him I would be crying and in bed if it had been me.
After dinner, I had the opportunity to observe the damage done while we were at the wedding the night before. (You’ve seen how ship-shape I keep things when I’m home). As we clean up the house each and every day, I am continually in awe of how messy the house can be in just one day. If anyone has any suggestions for me, I am all ears. It seems to me that I need to lock up the clothing and books as well as the toys. The cards are kept in the storage room that is locked. I am thinking of hiring a full-time security agent to stand guard. How much you wanna bet he’d be crying like a baby at the end of the week?
Well, I was right. The supplements need to be locked up, too. The 2yo did this in the dark. This is not good omen, is it?
The day came to a close with football watching, pointless web surfing, and article writing. I will be posting the article (on procrastination) on my Wonder Woman< “> blog. Sometime. (Here it is)
Yes, I’m a little late posting, but we were out late at a wedding! More on that later.
So technically, this first photo is from Day 4, but the hubby wanted me to include it. He said he couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t read anything on the computer. Turns out “someone” popped out one of the lenses on his reading glasses. Thankfully, he thought it was funny.
I hate to disappoint those who are getting a kick out of all the destructiveness going on here (yes, Mom, that’s you), but today was relatively quiet. I guess the 2yo was tired. He had a complete meltdown in the afternoon because IÂ
wouldn’t give him any cookies. Maybe he needs cookie power to destroy. No worries though. He wasn’t completely dormant.
I started the day off with a great workout in the gym. I was really tired, but so glad I worked out anyway. This is the very manly part of the gym, but notice it isn’t overrun with them. After that it was showering, devotions, and a smoothie. Then chores and school.
One of the things we do twice a week is sing hymns together. I use the Kids’ Hymnal and we play on the keyboard in the basement. I let the 12yo give playing a go, even with 4 sharps. We decided we didn’t like the hymn anyway. Many of them are wonderful, though, and since we attend contemporary worship, I like the fact that I can give the kids a familiarity with the great hymns of the faith.
After Bible time, we spent a LOT of time learning about the constitution. We are in the midst of a Konos study on government. Our time studying meant so much more to me after listening to a homeschooling podcast with the author of Christianity and the Constitution at the gym this morning. The show was discussing how illiterate people are with regards to the Constitution. Apparently some people believe that the Bill of Rights guarantees the right to have pets. Not exactly.
Although our time was productive,  it was a challenge to get through the book because of the crazy questions the kids were asking. I had to start threatening to fine anyone who interrupted with a non-related question. Then the kids entertained themselves by trying to make a non-related question sound related. This is all while they wink at each other, bounce on a hoppy ball and fling a head band to the floor over and over. I showed the kids that I have a copy of the Constitution on my IPhone, hoping to inspire them to read it. They couldn’t wait to see it so they could show their dad their favorite iGolf and iBowl games they downloaded onto my phone without my permission.
It was time for lunch and I needed to keep the laundry going. I have to do at least two loads a day or it starts to get scary. That’s when I found one of my other personal irritants: band-aid papers all over the floor. We had to resort to buying a Sams- sized box of bandages. Yes, they have been dumped on the floor, but not even that bothers me as much as the leftover wrappers being carelessly discarded when the supposed owie has been bandaged. Please remind me to give a box of these to my kids as a baby shower gift someday.
After lunch, I had time to get more than 20 tasks completed as we didn’t do Konos co-op today. That makes this week fairly atypical for me. I went up to my room to put down a new carpet gripper and found that the 2yo had been busy creating. You might wonder what this is as I did. It’s my expensive anti-aging eye cream. Apparently the 2yo has seen me close up and knows it isn’t working. The other stuff is a makeup sponge wedged into a jar of creme foundation that I hated anyway. Guess I have to go back to locking my bedroom door. I just wish I could be INSIDE when it’s locked.
When said toddler was done with the makeup, he moved on to the bodybuilding supplements. Dh and I have creatine and
glutamine in our protein shakes every morning. But the way the little guy arranged this powder, it makes us look like drug dealers. I don’t think he eats any of this, but if he starts looking really buff, I’ll lock this in the cabinet where the markers are. You already know how secure that is.
One of my tasks for the afternoon was to make a wedding card for my friend’s son’s wedding we were attending last night. I thought about just printing one off the computer, but then remembered the great card kit I bought from qvc.
If you are a scrapbooker or card maker, please don’t ever watch paper crafting on qvc. Notice I am not linking you. I am trying to protect you. You will end up with enough products to scrapbook for your entire town. And you will convince yourself that you got a “great deal.” Even so, I do love this card kit that I bought several years ago that has everything assembled into little kits. You just have to glue for the most part and you’re done. If this couple is like my dh was, they won’t even notice the card as they’ll be looking for the check.
Incidentally, I was shocked when I opened my scrapbooking closet. It was CLEAN and ORGANIZED!! No one had pulled down all the supplies and messed them up. I swear I wanted to live in there. I realized that my office/craft room was built in part to be a haven for me and I rarely enjoy it. I hope to enjoy more time here next week. In the mean time, I enjoyed a great phone call from Phyllis who convinced me that I could turn my idea for a Christian fiction book into a completed novel by next weekend. She is already working on the movie rights and is sworn to secrecy.
When I went back into the mess house, I noticed I was sticking to the kitchen floor like it was human fly paper. It was time to get out my trusty Hoover Floormate. I wrote a post on my Wonder Women blog about it some time ago that so motivated Dana, that she asked to borrow mine. That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I went to the trouble of posting the profit-sharing link from Amazon. Oh well! She DID buy one herself and I’m glad for her. The Floormate doesn’t take less time, but it takes MUCH less effort. Whenever a drink spills (every meal), the FloorMate takes care of it. The only problem with especially sticky floors like I had today is that they take several passes to clean. I was so proud of myself for having the floor clean, so I wasn’t keen on dh’s pronouncement that it was “still sticky.” I confess to ramming him a couple of times with the FloorMate. What was the attitude thing I was saying the day before?
Anyway, our delightful 17yo babysitter arrived in time for us to go to the wedding. She was thrilled when dh gave her a quilt of her favorite book series–Twilight. Dh was thrilled too. He figured he could pay her a lot less. The wedding was beautiful. The talented groom sang to his new bride and all the single gals were swooning. Actually, a lot of married gals were too. The reception was at a gorgeous place downtown. The only problem I had was accidentally signing in as a guest for a going away party. No wonder they couldn’t find my name! I so admire my friend, Debbie (on the right), who has had three children get married in the last year and a half! And isn’t she gorgeous? All in all, this was a very good day.
Heidi! Thanks so much for commenting. I hope you will consider attending Hearts at Home in Illinois or Minnesota and if that isn't possible, consider ordering some of the presentations on CD. You won't be sorry you did. Heidi, if you will email me at melphd@aol.com with your full name and mailing address, Hearts at Home will send you a book on Life Balance. I enjoyed your blog and I hope you will post a review of the book there! I can determine if it's one I ought to read.
Robin, thank you, too. I just want you to know that I put 3 names in a drawer (2 for Heidi and 1 for you) and had my 6yo pick. LOL
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
