Our relationships, like money and time, are gifts from the Lord. I’ve never tried to dye the clothing I’ve been given as gifts. I’ve never tried to reconstruct a present of jewelry. I’ve never edited a gifted book. But I’ve tried to change the people God has given to me as gifts many, many times.
I could blame it on my profession, I suppose. But more likely my desire to change people has to do with my pride (my way is better) and lack of understanding (he is purposely trying to make me miserable!). Only recently did it occur to me that all of our upsets with spouses, kids, friends, neighbors, bosses and more are symptoms of our discontent.
The Apostle Paul was someone who dealt with a lot of difficult people. Acts 16 details Paul’s encounter with a demon-possessed girl who annoys him. He drove the demon out of her, but was then beaten and thrown in jail –into stocks, no less! Yet what does he do? Praises the Lord in song.
If I were Paul, I would have:
- complained about the demon-possessed girl and demanded that God get her to stop annoying me so I could get on with life. When we are discontent with our relationships, we want the person who’s annoying us to chage.
- begged God to save me from beatings and incarceration. When we are discontent with our relationships, we don’t want people to change us.
- had the world’s biggest pity party in jail. When we are discontent with our relationships, we don’t want to serve the Lord.
I’m so glad that Paul had contentment with his relationships. As a result, a young girl was delivered of a demon and a jailer’s family was saved.
Who’s annoying you lately? Let’s practice the contentment of Paul and:
- pray in the name of Jesus Christ for our annoying person. Let’s be more concerned with them than we are with ourselves.
- understand that God is using the difficult person for our good. Although painful, the changes challenging people can make in us are more valuable than gold.
- give God thanks for how He will use a tough relationship for His glory. When Paul was annoyed with the slave girl, He had no idea that God was setting in motion a sequence of events that would have glorious consequences. I believe the Lord is still working in our relationships this way.
Has the Lord ever used a difficult relationship in your life for your good and His glory?
The Secret to Learning Contentment
And the amazing thing is we get to see how those difficult circumstances and relationships were used by God to advance his kingdom. Just to think that if he had not been jailed, he wouldn’t have written as many letters as he had – and we wouldn’t have the scriptures preserved for us today.
Loren, I think in the midst of painful relationships, it’s hard to keep our focus on the kingdom. That’s why it’s so helpful to encourage one another with the reminder. I even reminded myself today with this post I wrote a few days ago. PTL for that! Thanks so much for your comment.
Sometimes it seems that 99% of my difficulties with other people have come from my desire to control them somehow. So I have learned to let go – to make them happier (who likes being judged and found wanting?) and myself happier as well. It takes all kinds to make up this world – and how boring would it be if everyone was just like me?
Well, isn’t that the truth! We definitely aren’t content when we don’t have control…unless we choose to be. You seem to have a great handle on letting go that I can learn from.
Hey Melanie girl!
Paul was such a good example of the life God invites us to! So much of life is about love, gratitude… contentment! Yes, God has brought a few people into my life that I have had to learn how to love. Thanks for sharing your heart with us girl!
-Blessings, Amy
Hi Melanie, I’m enjoying your blog – you’re a funny and wise writer! Also wanted to let you know I couldn’t get to your blog through your comment on my blog – the link didn’t work (it was melaniewilson.org rather than http://www.melaniewilson.org. I went back to Loren’s blog and found you there as the full link came up on that one. (it didn’t occur to me that’s why I couldn’t find you, I just thought the link didn’t work.)