6 Reasons I’ll Never Be a Perfect Homeschooler

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I could absolutely be the perfect homeschooler that some moms already think I am if not for these six things:

#1 I have imperfect kids

Besides the usual signs of childhood imperfection like refusing to leave diapers on, disobedience (I told him not to play with slime), and mess-making, my children have maligned my good reputation by:

• Peeing all over the pool deck at swimming lessons, necessitating special clean-up
• Shooting the little neighbor girl in the back with an Airsoft pellet on two different occasions (after I assured her mother I would protect her)
• Arguing against the faith in front of my homeschool friends (They asked, “Which apologetics curriculum are you using again?”)

And those are just the things I feel comfortable telling you. I could be a perfect homeschooler if it weren’t for my kids.

#2 I have an imperfect husband

My husband is our school principal and he works out of our home. Although his self-employment has been a blessing to us in many ways, it has allowed a rather annoying habit to get in the way of my homeschooling: He likes to call off school for good weather. I will be in the middle of teaching when he will come into the school room declaring, “It’s a beautiful day! We’re going for a hike. Everybody outside!” The kids gladly disappear, leaving me holding the books. I could be a perfect homeschooler if it weren’t for my husband.

#3 I have an imperfect house

Having an attractive work environment really does aid learning. Unfortunately, there’s something wrong with my house. For example, I must have really weak drywall, so that when the kids bounced out of their inflatable trampoline, landing on the wall, the drywall just imploded. The wallpaper must not have been adhered well to the wall, because it peeled off so quickly. My furniture must be poor quality, too, because the leather desk chair’s “leather” has peeled off by itself. I could be a perfect homeschooler if it weren’t for my house.

#4 I have imperfect curriculum

My kids would all already have their Ph.D.s if only better curriculum were on the market. The material is too hard or too easy. There is too much to do or too little. It takes too much time or not enough, allowing the kids to become idle. It’s too interesting, making all other subjects unappealing, or it’s too boring. And to top it off, I’ve spent tons of time and money looking for something that doesn’t seem to exist. I could be a perfect homeschooler if it weren’t for our curriculum.

#5 I have imperfect friends

On days when my husband is working out of the house and I can finally teach, we get a phone call from our homeschooling friends asking if we’d like to do something fun. It doesn’t matter if I don’t take the call, because the kids have already gotten a text message from my friend’s kids and they’ll announce that we need to start getting ready for our field trip immediately. I usually agree because the kids’ behavior, my husband’s impending return, my messed-up house, and our imperfect curriculum will surely make the day a loss anyway. I could be a perfect homeschooler if it weren’t for our homeschool friends.

#6 I have some imperfections

This is definitely last on the list, but I have a few very tiny problems of my own, that I have mostly taken care of. Sort of. Like when the kids were little, I would very rarely (no more than once or twice a day) get so caught up in what I was doing on the computer that I wasn’t supervising them and then they would give themselves haircuts. Nothing big.

Then every once-in-a-while I don’t tell my husband that we’re going on field trips (only never) and so he doesn’t really know our schedule. That could explain why he doesn’t know that we’ve been gone every day this week and today isn’t a good day for a hike.

It’s also happened that on those very rare occasions when I wasn’t supervising the kids (for only a few hours at a time), that they’ve used that time to destroy the house. But I still think the house and furniture should be high enough quality to withstand some abuse.

When it comes to curriculum, I have to admit that in a few instances (every six months or so), I will change curriculum, just in case there is something better available. But you know what they say, “If you love a curriculum, set it free…” Wait, that might not be the right saying. But you know what I mean.

Finally, it’s possible that I might have told my friends that we’re fairly flexible (like I might have said, “Any time you want to go, give me a call!”). It’s also remotely possible that I may have been the one to call or text my friends to say, “Hey! It’s a beautiful day! Let’s go for a hike!”

I don’t seem to be the only homeschooler who will never be perfect! Be sure to check out iHomeschool Network’s other articles. Don’t worry about what the kids are doing. I’m sure they’re FINE.