This is a guest post by Esther Littlefield of WellnessMomLife.com. Be sure to grab her great freebie!
When my husband and I first decided we would homeschool our daughter, I had a few stipulations. He had always thought homeschooling was a good idea. I, on the other hand, thought it was crazy. Not because homeschooling is crazy – but I knew myself, and I knew my daughter. I anticipated that it would be a big challenge for me to tackle the homeschooling thing.
Between my husband and I, we have 2 businesses, plus I have my blog. I also lead a women’s Bible study, run a local business networking group, and help out at our church. So when we discussed it, we had to come up with a plan that would allow to us balance our marriage, homeschooling, and both our businesses.
All three of these things – marriage, homeschooling, and having a business – are hard work in and of themselves. They can also be an absolute joy. But when you combine them together, you can create a potential implosion if you are not intentional about how to balance them all.
Here are a few tips that we have found to work for our family, and I hope they might help you, too, if you’re in a similar situation.
5 Keys to Balancing Marriage, Homeschooling, and Business:
Be willing to frequently evaluate your roles and time commitments.
When we first started this adventure, we agreed that I would be the primary homeschooling parent. However, we both wanted my husband to be involved on some level, and so our plan was to have him do the homeschooling one morning a week.
Since my husband’s hours are flexible, and he works from home on Fridays, we decided that Friday mornings would be his time to do the schooling. This allows me to attend my networking group, as well as run errands and have a little bit of time to myself.
There is no magical solution for this, especially if you both have businesses or other responsibilities. The key is to have frequent conversations about how it is going, and be willing to make adjustments as needed.
Give each other space for free time.
Due to our situation and our schedule, we have more time together and with our daughter than the average family, and we love that. However, we also both have outside pursuits that allow us to have breaks and enjoy things that are important to us.
For me, I have a weekly Bible study I lead, and that has become something I look forward to every week. He has his time to play video games with friends or go play his guitar with some other guys. This free time is important for both of us, and this is key to both of us maintaining wellness (and sanity) in our lives.
Schedule time together.
On the other hand, since we do spend more time together than the average family, it’s easy to neglect spending intentional time together. My husband and I spend a lot of time around one another, but how much of that is truly engaging in quality conversation? Or time away from our daughter?
We have found that scheduling a couple nights a week to spend time together – instead of working on our businesses – is important. We also make it a point to have a date night at least once a month. We have to be intentional about maintaining our connection and improving our communication.
For each family, it may look different. But just because you may spend more time together at home doesn’t mean that you are actually focused on each other. Scheduling this time shows that you value each other and your family.
Show respect and appreciation for each other’s roles.
Finally, it’s incredibly important when you are balancing marriage, homeschooling, and business(es) to be sure to respect each other and the work that you do.
The best way you can respect each other is to show appreciation for the things you each do every day. Whether it’s little or big, taking the time to show appreciation can make your spouse feel incredible.
Put your spouse’s needs before the kids and the business.
This is always a tricky one. But clearly we homeschooling moms love our kids. We spend all day with them, we teach them, we take them places – we invest A LOT into our kids. Sometimes this dedication to our kids can come at an expense: we end up neglecting our husband because by the time he is home, we are spent.
I’ll admit that there are days that I completely fail at this. As soon as my husband walks through the door, I want to tap out. I want to be done, and I’m not very invested in him or his needs.
But the truth is, if I neglect my husband, I’m actually neglecting our family. If I push him to the bottom of my priority list, I am slowly killing my marriage. And this is not good for my kids or for me.
If this is an area you struggle with, I can relate. I’ve created a free download for you: “10 Tips for Putting Your Husband Before the Kids”, which you can grab right here.
This job of parenting and homeschooling is not easy. Having a business can have huge risks, stressors, and it can be an emotional roller coaster. Marriage can have it’s challenges. Using these 5 keys to balance all of this can produce less stress and more wellness for you as a family!
Which of the 5 keys that I mentioned do you need to implement today? Share in the comments!
Esther Littlefield helps busy moms find ways to take care of themselves by sharing her personal journey of failures, triumphs, and tools for success so that they can experience wellness & achieve balance. Find her at WellnessMomLife.com
Most young kids may answer, “Jesus!” enthusiastically when you ask what Easter is about. But the truth is, it seems to be all about the candy and toys. As homeschoolers, we have the time to counteract the cultural message to share our faith with our children at Easter. Here are six powerful ways to do that.
#1 Attend a passion play.
Most of you have children who aren’t ready to view the Passion of the Christ. Truthfully, I don’t think I was ready to see it! I was unable to eat or sleep after viewing the violent depiction of Jesus’ crucifixion. But many churches and some theaters present the true story of Christ’s sacrifice for us on the cross in a way that children can appreciate. My dear homeschooling friend became a Christian after seeing a church’s passion play. Don’t underestimate the power of these presentations. This year my daughter is participating in our church’s play. I’m hopeful it will give her an even deeper appreciation of Easter.
#2 Study the Scriptures.
No matter what Bible curriculum you’re using or where you are in Scripture, it’s a good idea to spend some extra time in the Gospels in preparation for Easter. Or use a Lenten devotional as a family in the evenings. My church has a mid-week service during Lent that has us studying the events that led up to Good Friday. No matter how many times your children have heard them, God can give them a fresh perspective on Jesus’ love.
#3 Use resurrection eggs.
Whether you make your own set or buy one, resurrection eggs are a tangible way of teaching the important truths about Easter. Each egg contains a symbol and Scripture. You can open a new one every day or hide them all and review them to tell the whole story.
#4 Watch Christ in the Passover.
Read Exodus 12 to review the Passover instituted for the Israelites, then watch this video to see the amazing parallels between Jesus and this sacred meal.
Even though our feet aren’t dirty like the disciples’ were, kids still cringe over doing this task. We did this for co-op and I don’t think any of us will forget this lesson in Christ’s humility and His example for us all.
#6 Make Resurrection cookies.
You’ll have one last chance to tell the story and to get kids involved in the telling of it with this delicious recipe. Eating these cookies on Easter morning can become a wonderful tradition and celebration.
I thought I would have two or three kids and wasn’t prepared for the organizing challenge six kids would be. I’ve learned the hard way, but you don’t have to. If you have three kids, some of these tips may not be necessary; if you have twelve kids, feel free to offer your tips in the comments. You certainly have a lot more wisdom to share than I do!
These are the tips that have saved my sanity for the last 16 years that I’ve had three or more children.
#1 Organize by Day
I wish I could say the issue of arguing over the best seat in the car or the house is over now that my kids are older, but that’s not the case. The bickering started early and I needed a strategy for resolving these squabbles.
My solution was to assign each child a day. Once I had six, it worked out rather well. Monday was the oldest’s day, Tuesday the second oldest’s, and so on. Sunday is Dad’s day. We use each child’s day to give privileges like choice of seat and what restaurant to go to if we are going out to eat, but also responsibilities like leading prayers and being mom’s helper.
Bonus Tip: Assign seats at your kitchen table for life. Do you have to ask why?
#2 Organize by Color
I wanted to be able to identify whose belongings were whose (because there are oh-so-many belongings!), so I assigned colors to the kids at an early age. You can use color for towels, toothbrushes, cups, notebooks, folders, pencils, and more. When someone’s item is missing, it makes finding it easier than if everyone had the same color. It also makes shopping decisions easier.
Bonus Tip: Does your child keep losing things? Make him pay a finder’s fee to a sibling who finds the missing item.
#3 Use a Label Maker
Some things can’t be purchased in multiple colors. That’s when a label is a life saver. I often have two kids using the same level of curriculum. We immediately label the books. I keep a label maker in the kids’ bathroom so they can label their toiletries. Everyone has their own hygiene tools and products and complaints of missing items are minimized.
Bonus Tip: Consider getting items personalized when you order them.
#4 Teach your Children to Do Chores
If I had had just one child, I would have been tempted to do too much for them. With six children living in a bigger house, I couldn’t manage without their help. There are many ways to approach chores with a big family. Managers of Their Chores is one option. Many systems are more trouble than they’re worth for big families, however. I know; I’ve tried so many of them! I’ve created a super easy checklist that you can modify for your family. It has worked well for us for many years.
Bonus Tip: Instead of using a chore list for daily chores, just work together on each room or floor of your house. Use a timer and play some fun music to motivate kids.
#5 Use Checklists
Packing for myself and six children when we travel would have been a nightmare if not for the checklists I created and saved on my computer. Each child has a list of things to take that I edit each year. I print them off and the kids love packing for themselves. Do I have to check my younger kids’ clothing choices? Absolutely! But it takes so much less time to check than to pack for them.
Bonus Tip: Laminate or put checklists to be reused into page protectors. Make dry erase markers available to be used with them.
#6 Declutter Together
I don’t have any mind-blowing tips for organizing toys and clothes with a big family besides constantly getting rid of things. For years, I struggled to determine how to choose what to give away. So many toys belonged to all of the kids. Just because my 10-year-old didn’t like something didn’t mean my 5-year-old didn’t want it. I finally put blankets out on my playroom floor for giveaway items and throw-away items. I had the kids go through their toys and put them on the respective blankets. Doing this together allowed younger kids to rescue treasures, but still encouraged them to give things away. It’s worked brilliantly and the kids actually enjoy doing this.
To declutter clothes, I start with my oldest child. As he pulls out things he doesn’t want, I offer it to the next smallest child (my second son is actually the tallest now). If the next child doesn’t want it and it’s in good condition, I donate it. We keep working our way through the kids in this way until we have gotten through all of their clothes. My daughter only has to sort through clothes a friend has handed down to her.
Bonus Tip: Keep bins or hampers for unwanted items easily accessible in your home to make this process faster.
Do you need more help getting and staying organized with your big family? Order your copy of The Organized Homeschool Life.
Join us for the “How to Organize your Life in 30 Days” Challenge!
Do you feel like you are drowning in to do lists, laundry, and dishes? Does lack of organization cause you to lose your patience or avoid having people over? Are you often late because you can’t find what you are looking for? As moms, we all have a lot on our minds and life is busy. In some seasons our mind becomes so full that we become less productive. I am teaming up with some amazing bloggers to bring you 30 days to an organized life! All you need to do to join the challenge is check out the landing page HERE and start working through the challenges. You can join in at any point, there are no rules! Share your before or after pictures on Instagram and use the hashtag #30dayorganize for a chance to win a $10 gift card to Hobby Lobby (3 winners)! The more your engage on social media, share the graphic below, etc. the more entries you’ll have! The winners will be announced on Instagram so stay tuned!
If you want to be organized, remembering appointments is your top priority. At one time in my life, I missed appointments all the time. It was so humiliating, I was temped to lie about it! How could I forget the same appointment even when it was rescheduled? The reason was two-fold:
First, I sometimes didn’t write appointments and the location of the appointment down on my calendar. I either thought I would remember, was busy doing something else, or I wrote it on a piece of paper that never made it to my wall calendar. I once had a speaking engagement on my calendar, but didn’t write the location down. I barely made it in time after a frantic search for the right place. I was speaking on organization.
The second reason I missed appointments is because I’m a highly distracted person. I could look at my calendar in the morning and completely forget that dental appointment for the afternoon.
Today my iPhone’s Google calendar alerts keep me from missing appointments. I schedule events on my iPhone immediately and carry my phone with me at all times (even from room to room in the house).
I no longer appear disorganized because I’ve learned how to use my calendar in a way that works for me. Using your calendar to track appointments and events immediately and checking your calendar frequently (or using alerts) will keep you organized, too.
#2 Tasks Are More Likely to Be Done
Most of us use our calendars for appointments and events and a to-do list (paper or digital) for tasks. If you’re organized using that system, there is no reason to change. But research shows you are more likely to complete a task when you make time for it on your calendar. Francis Wade wrote a super popular guest post on Why CEOs and College Students Manage Time the Same Way. You guessed it! They use their calendars, going so far as to account for time in 15-minute increments.
I schedule my time using an app called Skedpal because I try to make the most of every bit of my day. However, simply scheduling time to complete a few important tasks will make you a more organized person. Do you have a vacation or a party coming up? When are you going to plan it? Schedule time on your calendar and you’re more likely to get it done.
#3 Homeschooling and Work Can Have Protected Time
When I started homeschooling I felt like I didn’t get any teaching in at all. I was too busy doing laundry, nursing babies, and chasing a toddler. I didn’t have a schedule for my homeschool. I figured I would teach when I could. Unfortunately, that meant almost never!
Once I adopted school hours during which I had a routine (a series of activities done in order, but not to the exact minute), homeschooling actually happened. Not only did having school hours help me get more done, it made me more confident as a homeschooling mom. Skeptics always asked me when I taught. I didn’t want to see them roll their eyes when I said, “Oh, you know, whenever.” I once sent my son to a science class held over a few days that I paid quite a bit of money for. He told me that the teacher spent the whole time using her iPad. If that irritated me (and it did), I felt I shouldn’t do the same thing by not devoting a certain part of my day solely to homeschooling.
I have been writing as long as I’ve homeschooled. It was tough to make time for that, too. It’s only when I scheduled the time that I’ve been consistent. When you have time allotted to working (if you work at home), you’re more likely to get things done. Your family will respect the time and so will you. Just as you wouldn’t want someone to bill you for work they hadn’t done, you want to use your calendar to protect and use your work hours. In doing so, you’ll be a lot more organized because you won’t constantly be trying to work when you should be spending time with your family.
#4 You’ll Make Time for Important People
I’m so busy as a homeschooling, blogging mom that it’s easy to let family time and time for my husband go. It just kind of happens. That’s why it’s important for me to schedule family time. We have family events and movie nights planned so nothing else takes over. Scheduling time for devotions that I do with my daughter has finally allowed me to do them.
My husband loves to entertain and come summer, he was always begging me to invite people over at the last minute. That drove me a little batty as I like to plan for guests. So at the beginning of summer, I asked my husband to list all the people he wanted to have over. I started booking dates with them and it was amazing! We had more people over than we’d ever had before, but I was more organized.
When you schedule time for important people in your life, you feel organized and the people you love are happier, too.
#5 You’ll Achieve Your Goals
It’s amazing how long three months seems until you plan using a calendar. “I have plenty of time!” you tell yourself. Whether you want to do a home project, meet a financial goal, or lead a ministry event, you’re more likely to succeed if you use your calendar.
We always tend to think we’ll have more time later. One reason is because we haven’t scheduled things far in advance. The calendar looks clear. One thing I like to do is to have recurrent events scheduled all year. That way I can see that while I have fewer appointments scheduled three months from now, my son still has drum lessons, my daughter still has gymnastics, and I still have to do the grocery shopping. I’m less likely to rest on my laurels like the hare and lose the race to completing my goal.
Our calendar can also help us achieve our goals by setting mini-milestones. It has taken me a very long time to complete the language arts curriculum I’m writing. But I was able to stay motivated by setting a completion date for each unit and adding it to my large wall calendar. A wall calendar is a great visual that can help us see how quickly the time goes.
Finally, you can use your calendar for the technique Jerry Seinfeld made famous called Streaks. Maybe you want to spend a little time every day decluttering. Every day you do so, put an X on that day for the calendar. The more days of decluttering you string together, the less willing you’ll be to skip a day–especially if this calendar is posted for your family fan club to see.
#6 You Can Get Organized One Day at a Time
I have written before that the best homeschool hack is organizing all year. Getting organized isn’t a two-week event in the summer, nor is it this mammoth beast of an undertaking that we tend to think it is. Organizing happens in the little steps we take today and this week and this month.
But what if you don’t know where to start? I know that feeling. When there are so many things that need your attention, so many parts of your life in CHAOS, so many projects that you don’t even want to face, it’s easy to want to go back to bed and figure it out tomorrow. But you know what will happen tomorrow, don’t you? Yeah, we know how that goes.
Even as far as I’ve come in getting organized, I need help deciding what small step to take today. That’s why I created calendars with daily 15-minute missions to organize every aspect of your homeschooling life. They’re a bonus for purchasers of The Organized Homeschool Life from Psychowith6 or for anyone who sends a screenshot of their review on Amazon to Psychowith6 at Gmail [dot] com.
Start Using Your Calendar to Get Organized Today!
Pull out those appointment cards from your purse and add them to a calendar you know you’ll use. Schedule time to complete a few tasks that are coming due. Create homeschool and office hours and put them on your calendar. Put a family game night, date night, or dinner party on the calendar. Put a mini milestone for an important goal on your calendar, too. Finally, pick up your copy of The Organized Homeschool Life and do today’s mission. You’ll be well on your way to an organized life.
Also Join us for the “How to Organize your Life in 30 Days” Challenge!
Do you feel like you are drowning in to-do lists, laundry, and dishes? Does lack of organization cause you to lose your patience or avoid having people over? Are you often late because you can’t find what you are looking for? As moms, we all have a lot on our minds and life is busy. In some seasons our mind becomes so full that we become less productive. I am teaming up with some amazing bloggers to bring you 30 days to an organized life! All you need to do to join the challenge is check out the landing page HERE and start working through the challenges. You can join in at any point, there are no rules! Share your before or after pictures on Instagram and use the hashtag #30dayorganize for a chance to win a $10 gift card to Hobby Lobby (3 winners)! The more your engage on social media, share the graphic below, etc. the more entries you’ll have! The winners will be announced on Instagram so stay tuned!
My kids’ and my favorite memories of Valentine’s Day are the games we’ve played. Whether you play any of these 90+ games with your family, co-op, church, or in a classroom, you’ll be blessed. Be sure to pin this post and check out the other amazing Valentine’s posts in this Homeschool Days Blog Hop at the bottom of the page.
Back to Back Challenge – Kids sit back-to-back with a partner and arms interlocked and try to be the first pair to stand up.
Breathless – A relay where teammates pass tissue hearts to one another using the suction of a straw
Candy Ball – Candies are wrapped up in a large ball made of Saran Wrap. Players can unroll to get the candy until the next player rolls doubles in dice.
Don’t Break My Heart – The child who is it is out of the room when the heart is chosen that has a candy marker that they cannot eat. Played like Don’t Eat Pete.
Don’t Break My Heart! – Kids have to pass a tissue paper heart around to their team members using clothes pins without tearing it.
Fill My Heart With Love – Counting printable game for toddlers using a dice and heart markers.
Find Your Heart Mate – Kids find the person who has either the answer or the math problem that matches them (written on half a heart).
I Heart Counting – Preschoolers look for hidden, numbered felt hearts and match them to the corresponding heart on a board. Also with Hershey’s kisses.
Kissing Booth – Guess how many Hershey’s kisses are in a jar.
Discover the Verse – One word of a verse having to do with love is put on a construction paper heart. Kids work together to put the verse in order.
I’ll Tumble for You – Valentine’s version of Jenga with love-related questions
Licorice Race – First person to eat the whole piece of licorice without using their hands wins.
Marshmallow Ball – Get as many marshmallows into your partner’s mouth as possible.
Stealing Kisses – The child who is it doesn’t know who has taken the chocolate kiss from the middle of the circle and asks, “Did you steal my kiss?’ until discovering the culprit.
Spot the Hearts – Put hearts around the room and see if kids can find them all
The M & M Hunt Game – Teams receive clues as to the location of baggies containing M & Ms. They take three from each location and don’t know the point values of various colors until the end.
Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve – The person who is it tries to guess who has a heart on his sleeve since the other kids’ hands are hidden behind them.
What Kind of Candy Am I? – See which team gets the most answers correct on this printable questionnaire.
Minute to Win It Valentine’s Games
Minute-to-Win-It games are so much fun. You can create your own list of games to be completed individually or in teams in one minute. A few of these links include score card printables.
A Bit Dicey – Using a tongue depressor in the mouth, see how many dice can be stacked on it in one minute.
Apple Stack – Stack as many apples as you can in one minute.
Bottle Drop – See how many conversation hearts you can drop into a bottle in one minute (distance makes it harder).
Candy Corn Stick Up – Whoever has the most candy corn (Valentine’s colored) standing up at one minute wins a point for their team.
Candy Pick Up – Using chopsticks to move various Valentine’s candy from one plate to another, the child who moves the most wins a point for their team.
Chop Stick Dig – Kids fill up their cups with as much candy as they can using chop sticks to pull it out of a bowl of popcorn. They have one minute before turning the chopsticks over to the next person on their team.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
