Regardless of your opinion of the election results, you’ve no doubt had some conversation about it. Perhaps, like me, you’ve also considered what to say to your children about these events. Or even more, what you should have said to them before these events. These are lessons I want to teach my children. I think they are lessons that every Christian homeschooler should teach, regardless of poltical leanings.
The first political lesson we must teach our children is that conflict like we have had recently is nothing new.
It’s not the worst conflict in history. It’s not even the worst conflict in our country. It’s easy to feel like things are so bad, like they’re so out-of-control when you aren’t keeping them in a historical context. The United States was deeply divided over allegiance to England. It was deeply divided over states’ rights, so much so that some consider the Constitution a miracle. I know I do. It was so divided over slavery and regional differences that family members were willing to fight and kill each other in the Civil War. The 1960s and 70s were rife with civil rights and anti-war protests. Here is a long list of protests and riots that have occurred in the United States over the decades. Your students will be convinced that what we are experiencing in our country today is nothing new.
It’s important that our children understand that recent events are no reason to fear, nor or they a reason to give up hope for our country. The truth is there are many areas in which America has come a long way.
The second political lesson we must teach our children is that politics is a worldly weapon.
I love the New Living Translation of 2 Corinthians 10:4 which reads, We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. Worldly weapons are debates, rhetoric, social media campaigns, and elections. As Christians, we still use worldly weapons. In the United States, we have freedoms that have come at a very high price. Not to exercise the freedom to vote, for example, is not expressing gratitude for the sacrifices that have been made. We have the right to participate in every aspect of the political process. We can campaign for our candidate. We can share videos that argue our view. We can even protest. But that’s not where we put our hope. We don’t have our hope in a democratic republic. We don’t lose hope when our candidate doesn’t win. We don’t suddenly have faith in our country when our candidate does win. No matter who are leaders are, God is in control. The English Standard Version of Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.”
Because God is in control, we ought to go to Him first with our needs and concerns. We use His weapons which are detailed for us in Ephesians 6: 14-18. It reads, “Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,
No matter what the political issue, we want our children to seek truth, righteousness, peace, faith, the mind of Christ, God’s Word, and prayer. These are mighty political weapons.
The third political lesson we must teach our children is to look for logical fallacies.
These are errors in reasoning that we or our political opponents may make. As much as possible we want our children to avoid making these errors. We also want them to be able to recognize them in others’ arguments. For example, the slippery slope argues that one small step in a direction will necessarily lead to a more drastic decision. For example, requiring a background check to buy a gun will lead to the banning of all guns. An ad hominem argument is an attack of the person rather than his or argument. A person’s prior immoral act does not make every stance of a candidate invalid, for example. A red herring is an argument unrelated to the issue. For example, discussing China’s environmental policy is not related to what the United State’s should be. A straw man argument is when an opponent’s argument is stated in such a way as it is easy to tear down. For example, people who are concerned with terrorists immigrating here are xenophobic and xenophobia shouldn’t be tolerated. There are excellent books and curricula we can use to make sure are children recognize logical fallacies. Here is Cathy Duffy’s list of logic and critical thinking curricula.
The fourth political lesson we must teach our children is that statistics can be used to support any argument.
Statistics aren’t facts. I studied statistics for longer than I ever wanted to, but I’m glad to understand some of the difficulties in interpreting them. Hard science data like weight and temperature can be flawed. What instruments were used? Were they used in every measurement with the same conditions? Could there have been user or measurement error? When it comes to measuring human behavior or attitudes, the potential for error skyrockets. People often don’t do what they say they’ve done or what they say they will do. Questions can be written or stated in a leading way.
A second major problem with statistics is that correlation is often confused with causation. I discussed right-to-work laws with someone who knew more about them than I do. And in case you have a strong opinion either way, let me just say that I have not yet decided what I think about it. The person I talked with told me that states with right-to-work laws have lower wages than states without those laws. Thus, right-to-work laws lower wages. So I did some investigating and discovered that more states with right-to-work laws are in the South where wages are already lower. This may be a case where correlation (the association of one variable with another) does not mean one variable causes another. Or that could in fact be happening over and above the lower wage levels that already existed. There are statistical calculations that can take that into account. But often the side making the argument won’t use statistics that don’t make the strongest argument for them.
Until your children are old enough to study statistics in depth, it’s important for them to know that statistics are complicated. They may or may not be facts that support one side of an argument.
The fifth political lesson we must teach our children is that every argument has two sides.
I think one of the best ways to teach this is to teach your children how to debate. Even if they don’t participate on a debate team, they can debate someone in co-op or even in their own family. The most learning happens when you are required to debate in favor of the opposite view that you hold. I’ve served as a debate coach many times and looking beyond debater skills, I’ve found myself very confused about which side is truly right. That’s what happens when you look at both sides of an issue.
Beyond debate, I think it’s important to talk to people affected by the issue at hand. It’s easy to say that a program should be eliminated if you don’t benefit from it. But after talking with someone who relies on it, you may change your mind. Just as with statistics, political issues are usually a lot more complex than what mainstream media make them out to be. If you as a parent have the opportunity to talk with different parties in a contentious political issue, do it. Unfortunately, you may end up more confused than ever. But at least you won’t have an uninformed view.
The final lesson I think we have to teach our children with respect to politics is the benefits and responsibilities of nonviolent resistance.
There have been times and will be times when we object to something so strongly that we have to take a stand. We must protest and resist a policy or a law. These protests can make positive changes. They have throughout history. But we must resist nonviolently. Our actions must always be motivated out of love. 1 Corinthians 13: 1 says, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” No matter how well spoken our children are, if they protest to make themselves look good, to gain power, or to get revenge, they’re just making a lot of noise. Resistance must always be motivated from love and it must always be nonviolent.
The list of examples we have of nonviolence resistance is long and prestigious:
Jesus
The Apostles
The early church
Luther
The Pilgrims
Ghandi
Martin Luther King Jr.
We have the right to resist immoral or unjust laws and practices. We can see immense positive change as a result. But we also have the responsibility to do so accepting the legal consequences. Did Daniel pitch a fit about being thrown to the lions’ den? No. He had violated the law of the land and he knew it. He had to rely on God to save him. We and our children must do likewise. We have to know that when we choose to protest something that there may be negative effects. We must face them without complaint, relying on God to save us or not as He deems fit.
That’s an advanced lesson, isn’t it? But we are told not to worry about what we will say in that situation. The Holy Spirit will speak through us. He will speak through our children.
Which of these political lessons do you think is most important? Let’s talk about it on Homeschool Sanity on Facebook.
Thanksgiving is the month for gratitude. I started thinking not just about what to be grateful for, but to whom. That led to me to consider the people who are deserving of our gratitude as homeschoolers. There are specific ways we can express gratitude to bless these people in our homeschool circles.
As a Christian homeschooler I always remember to be thankful to God for the privilege of homeschooling. That’s especially the case for me because homeschooling wasn’t my idea. God called me to homeschool even though I did not want to do it. I thought I would be so much happier as a writer and speaker and did not see how I could possibly homeschool. But here I am in my 17th year of homeschooling and I find myself more grateful for it every year. I don’t have time to list for you all the reasons that I am thankful to be a homeschooling mom, but I can tell you they are numerous. You might want to listen to the homeschool motivation on demand podcast episode. Gratitude always belongs first to our Heavenly Father but sometimes in the busyness of life as a homeschooling parent, we neglect to express our gratitude to other people. I have a list of other people whom we might choose to show gratitude to this month and every month.
Thank Homeschooling Pioneers
The first group of people I would argue we owe gratitude to is the men and women who bravely and sacrificially fought for our right to homeschool. This thought first occurred to me when I heard Zan Tyler speak at the 2:1 conference. She shared the legal battles she had to fight in order to homeschool legally in her state. By the time God called me to homeschool, homeschooling was widely accepted as a legal option. At the 2:1 conference I expressed my gratitude to Zan, but there are so many other pioneers in the homeschooling movement to whom I owe a debt of gratitude. Whenever I have the opportunity, I want to take it and share with them how thankful I am that they made the sacrifice required for me to homeschool in freedom. I have never had my right to homeschool challenged. What a blessing!
Thank Homeschooling Advocates
The second group of people to whom we owe a debt of gratitude is the men and women who serve as our pro-homeschooling legislators and lobbyists. If you’re anything like me, you like to complain about those involved in politics. But I recognize that without favorable voices in our government, our right to homeschool may not exist now and may not continue to exist in the future. While I believe in the importance of sharing our concerns with our legislators and lobbyists, I also believe in the importance of thanking our civil servants and promoters. We could write a letter with our children simply to say thank you for being a homeschooling advocate. I know that letter would be greatly appreciated. We can also thank these individuals by staying involved in politics. I’m going to be honest. I don’t love calling and writing my legislators. But if we all stopped doing that, we could lose our rights to teach our children in the way God has called us to. We express gratitude to the pioneers and political advocates by taking a few minutes every so often to voice our opinion.
Thank Homeschool Support Group Leaders
The third group of people to whom we owe a debt of gratitude is the moms and dads who have founded and led homeschooling support groups in our communities and states. Without these organizations I know I would not have had the courage to homeschool. Not only would I not have had the information I needed to start homeschooling, but I would not have had the friendship support I needed to continue. I met the majority of my local homeschooling friends directly or indirectly because of my local homeschool support group. These hard-working men and women made sacrifices of their time and their families’ time so that you and I would be fully equipped to not only homeschool, but to thrive as homeschoolers. Every year my local homeschooling support group invites members to make a financial contribution to say thank you to its leaders. If your leaders are not adequately paid, I urge you to do the same. But a simple email or thank you note goes a long way to enable these fearless leaders to continue doing what they do.
A second way you can thank homeschool support group leaders is by volunteering. All the activities and resources they make available to us cannot happen without our help. Choose an activity or resource you are passionate about and offer your time. A third way you can thank your homeschool support group leaders is by attending field trips you sign up for. In my area, there are some educational sites who will no longer host homeschoolers because they know they won’t show up. What a terrible testimony! I know field trip organizers who have been frustrated and embarrassed by this behavior. We have great freedom in our homeschooling lifestyle, but that freedom should not be used to let fellow homeschoolers down or to make a bad impression on our community. Don’t sign up if you aren’t sure you can go on the field trip. Only cancel if it’s an illness or emergency.
Thank Homeschool Conference Organizers
The fourth group of people to whom we owe a debt of gratitude is the men and women who organize homeschool conferences. Often the same people who run support groups organize conferences. If you have never planned a large event, you can’t imagine how stressful it can be. You have to try to keep three groups happy: the venue people, the exhibitors/ speakers, and the attendees. Often these three groups want different things! If I had not had homeschooling conferences to attend, it’s possible I would have quit homeschooling. The speakers convinced me that I was doing the right thing. They taught me how to keep my homeschooling sane. The exhibitors introduced me to materials that inspired me and my children. And the venue gave me an opportunity to see my homeschooling friends. I looked forward to conferences like a vacation! I even purchased fantastic gifts for my kids at them.
We can thank these hard-working men and women by first, attending conferences. We didn’t have the online resources and podcasts when I started attending homeschool conventions. But there are advantages of an in-person event even with those online resources. I plan to discuss these in a future podcast episode. For now, I will say that if you don’t attend, these events won’t be held. New, potential homeschoolers won’t see the size of our community, hear the encouragement, be able to ask questions, or touch the curriculum. Without in-person events, homeschooling numbers will shrink. After you attend a conference, you can thank these men and women by completing an evaluation. If you saw or heard something positive, whether it was a speaker or the helpfulness of a registration volunteer, share it. I try to remember this saying, “To think something positive and not share it is a sin.” I don’t know if that’s literally true, but I do know it’s a shame. Your positive comments and thanks will energize convention organizers all year.
Thank Homeschool Curriculum Publishers
The fifth group of people to whom we owe a debt of gratitude is the curriculum publishers. I still get questions from people who know nothing about homeschooling. They want to know how I know what to teach. The authors and publishers of curriculum have taught me so much. I feel like I’ve had a second, superb education. They have taught me how to teach my children and have relieved the anxiety I had about homeschooling. And they also have taught my children one-on-one through curriculum that can be used independently. Some of the books these men and women have written are so dear to me that I may not be able to part with them when my youngest has graduated. As a curriculum publisher myself, I know the hours, the expense, and even the anxiety that is poured into materials that bless homeschooling families. Most homeschool curriculum is not published by a giant corporation, but by homeschooling families who support themselves with this work. Even the large publishers employ homeschoolers.
How can we thank them? First, write them. My son emailed Stanley Schmidt, author of Life of Fred, years ago. Stanley wrote back that the email made all the late nights and long hours of writing worth it. I interviewed Mr. Schmidt on The Homeschool Sanity Show. The second way we can thank homeschool publishers is to buy direct. Many homeschoolers do not realize that when you buy curriculum from discounters like Amazon, the publishers make a dramatically lower percentage of that sale. The discounter can make most of the money! Purchases from an online distributor are particularly discouraging to publishers who have invested great sums of time and money to exhibit at a convention. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you can purchase directly at the same or nearly the same price, honor these publishers who have blessed homeschooling by doing just that. Third, we can thank homeschool publishers by not violating copyright. Homeschool publishers as a whole are extremely generous. They offer discounted materials to homeschoolers, quantity discounts, and some of them even allow copying of materials for immediate family members. Not all materials may be copied, however. Check the copyright and ask the publisher. When we violate copyright, we are stealing, period. I have seen homeschoolers scan materials and make them available online for free. They seem to think they are providing a wonderful service, but they are stealing from a homeschooling family. We are also stealing when we share digital downloads we’ve purchased with friends or a homeschool co-op. Think of publishers as your friends, too. Encourage other homeschoolers to support homeschool publishers by purchasing from them directly. If we don’t, many publishers will stop providing the amazing materials we are blessed with.
Thank Homeschool Content Providers
A sixth group of people to whom we owe a debt of gratitude is the homeschool content providers: bloggers and podcasters. Bloggers and podcasters have given me so many ideas and free resources over the years that have allowed me to provide my children with an excellent, inexpensive education. I can’t imagine homeschooling without them! Many content creators are responsible for people choosing to homeschool. But like curriculum publishers, they invest huge amounts of time and money to serve the homeschooling community. Blogs and podcasts aren’t free. We pay to maintain our websites, to create content, and to share on social media, to name just a few expenses. Blogging and podcasting are also very time-consuming. Most would make a lot more money working a job outside their homes. But those who blog and podcast for an income do so because they want to continue homeschooling.
We can thank them by commenting. Bloggers, no matter how popular they are, read their comments. Comments can make their day or crush it. If you enjoy something you read or hear, tell the content creator. You don’t know whether some mean-spirited person who commented has them wondering if they should quit. Second, share their content. The more people who read or listen, the more income that content creator can make or the more encouraged they are to continue doing what they do. Third, support them through your purchases. Many bloggers like me use affiliate links. Those links don’t cost you any more, but help cover the many expenses they have. The other thing you may not realize is that many bloggers’ affiliates are their homeschooling friends. When you purchase an affiliate product through me, I am triply thrilled. You have supported me, my homeschool publishing friend, and have purchased a product that will bless your family. If your favorite blogger produces a product you’re interested in, purchase it instead of Googling for a free version. Fourth, if you like a blogger or podcaster’s content, subscribe. Many people sign up to get a freebie and then immediately unsubscribe. Bloggers invest a lot of time and money into creating free resources so you will know the value of what they offer in a paid product. When we only grab the freebies and go, it’s like eating the samples at Sams Club without purchasing every time. A worker deserves his wages as the Bible says.
I want to end this post by expressing my thanks to you. I am not only blessed to be able to teach my children at home, but I’m blessed to be able to speak and write about this incredible calling. You have made this possible. I sometimes have to pinch myself because I’m doing everything I love to do.
Which of these unique expressions of thanks do you want to make first? Let’s chat about it on Facebook.
I was reviewing responses to a survey I sent out to my email readers. (You can join the email list and get the weekly sanity savers here.) I scrolled down to the section where I asked my readers to tell me what I could do to better meet their needs. Apparently, I expected a lot of criticism. That isn’t what I got. The positive comments and encouragement brought tears to my eyes. It still makes me emotional. It was at that moment that I realized that I have been being too hard on myself. I am always thinking about what I should be doing differently or better. In that moment of reading feedback I realized that other people don’t view me the way that I view me. I know that if I struggle with the issue of being too hard on myself, it’s highly likely that many of my listeners do to.
I decided that I needed to take steps to stop being too hard on myself. Here’s how.
The first step is to recognize that you are being too hard on yourself.
How can you recognize that? By looking for signs. The first sign is surprise at other people’s positive comments. That was a telltale sign for me that I have been being way too hard on myself. When others compliment you, are you quick to disagree? Do you find reasons why their compliments aren’t accurate? If so, you are likely being too hard on yourself.
A second sign that you’re being too hard on yourself is discouragement. If we feel like nothing we ever do is good enough, we are likely to feel down. Lately, I have been feeling discouraged. Last week my website was hacked for the second time. I wondered if it was even worthwhile to continue my blog and podcast. I don’t think I would have had that response if I hadn’t been being too hard on myself prior to that. It’s so easy as homeschooling moms to think we need to be doing more, that we need to be doing better. In fact, one of the mothers who responded to my email survey said she wanted help to be a better mother and teacher. I understand that desire because I share it. But I wonder if that feeling of still not being up to par doesn’t lead to more discouragement. Surprise at others’ positive comments and discouragement are signs that you’re being too hard on yourself.
The third sign is feelings of guilt. You feel guilty because you aren’t spending enough time on subjects. You feel guilty because you aren’t cooking from scratch often enough. You feel guilty because you’re not spending enough time with your husband or just playing with the kids. You feel guilty that you’re not saving enough money. These feelings of guilt often come from being too hard on ourselves. There is a place for legitimate guilt that tells us we need to make a change. But guilt that just torments us is likely a result of us being too hard on ourselves.
A fourth sign that we are being too hard on ourselves is fatigue. When we try to do more and to do better all the time and it’s just never good enough, it’s exhausting. If we give ourselves time to rest and feel that we have completed a job well done, we would have the energy we need to do all that God has called us to do. Without that, we may be on the verge of sending the kids to school or dropping a blog or podcast that we love.
If you recognize any of these signs, there’s a high likelihood that you’re being too hard on yourself. Once we know were being too hard on ourselves what can we do?
The first thing we can do is to move away from negative people.
For those of you who are married to a negative person, I am not suggesting that you file for divorce or leave home. I don’t know you and I don’t know your situation, but I do advise you to speak to your pastor or a Christian counselor and get godly counsel that is just for you. Even if we’re not discussing a negative spouse and it’s an extended family member or a friend, I’m not necessarily telling you to cut off relationship. But I am suggesting that you find a way to spend less time around people who are negative toward you. If you are in a relationship with someone who is critical, who is always pointing out what’s wrong with your work or with your efforts, find a way to spend less time with that person. If you are in a relationship with someone who makes fun of you, if they laugh at you and not with you, find a way to spend less time with this person. If you are in a relationship with someone who brags and you end up feeling inferior in comparison, find a way to spend less time with this person. If you’re in a relationship with a negative person who tells you that it’s you and not them, find a way to spend less time with this person. I’ve done a variety of blog posts on the topic of negative people you may find helpful.
Avoid material that gives you unrealistic goals.
Material that gives you unrealistic goals can include books on how to be a better mother or how to be a better homeschooler. Choose books instead like how to be a good enough parent. Listen to homeschoolers who get real with you about their lives. Avoid looking at magazines even in the grocery stores that have Photoshopped pictures of women, who can give us the idea that we don’t look good enough. Remember that Facebook posts can give us an unrealistic picture of what’s attainable. An example is a great sanity saver that I shared on the Homeschool Sanity Facebook page. It was a video of using a mixer to shred chicken. What the video doesn’t show is that when you do this and your chicken is in any kind of broth or sauce, you will get splatters everywhere. This is a metaphor for social media. If we try to fashion our lives after the perfect images we see, we will end up with a mess. If platforms like Pinterest or Instagram make you feel like you aren’t good enough, give them a rest.
Stop worshiping at the church of productivity.
I love productivity and I love learning new ways to get things done more efficiently. But when I read a blogger’s sentence that read, “If you worship at the church of productivity like me,” I realized there was a problem. Our culture does worship accomplishment. But we need to take time to just be. When I was having severe shoulder pain, I spent quite a bit of time in the hot tub just sitting and thinking. The benefits of that time were amazing. I found myself getting perspective. I felt less overwhelmed. I came up with new ideas.
If you were to ask people who love you why they do, I can guarantee you that they aren’t going to talk about how productive you are. I know this is true because when I think about the people I love most, my affection and appreciation for them has nothing to do with how much work they get done. While I do think it’s important to make the most of our time, it’s also true that spending time enjoying the moment is a great way to use the time we’ve been blessed with.
Find a get-real, encouraging community.
The fact that I have been a member of HomeschoolScopes.tv, a community on Facebook that supports homeschooling moms who enjoy watching or making live broadcasts, has been life-changing. The other moms I have met there are constantly helping me to see myself realistically. Yes, I get some women who tell me how awesome and amazing I am. Those kinds of comments, while meant well, sometimes leave me feeling like a phony or like I need to do more to measure up to them. But just as often, I get true encouragement that comes from women really knowing me. Last week a newer member of HomeschoolScopes told me that it was apparent to her that I spend a lot of time with God. That compliment meant so much to me and helped me in another way. My goal and yours as well if you are a follower of Jesus Christ is not to meet others’ standards of success. Rather it is to be obedient to Christ. And here’s the thing about Jesus’ expectations of us: they are so much kinder and gentler than ours. I came away from hearing that compliment realizing that yes, I have been too hard on myself. My sole mission in life is to walk in Jesus’ footsteps. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Become a part of a community: a church, a support group, or an informal group of friends who will remind you that you are more than enough.
Look to Scripture.
The well-known story of Mary and Martha shows us the problem we can have when our standards are too high. Martha was worried about many things. I have been worried about many things. I worry then I’m not doing enough as a wife, a mother, a homeschooling mother, a teacher, a blogger, podcaster, friend, and the list goes on. In this account, we are reminded that we are to concern ourselves with just one thing: what God is calling us to do. David and Paul both had reason to be hard on themselves, yet their focus was not on themselves, but on God. Reading their stories and reflecting on the two greatest commandments will remind us that being too hard on ourselves is counterproductive to the Gospel. Our focus ought to be on the privilege we have of being part of God’s story. David and Paul understood that. They didn’t get hung up on all the ways they had failed, but rather focused on what God was going to do in them and through them going forward.
What step are you going to take today to stop being so hard on yourself? Let’s chat about it on Facebook.
It’s very important to me that my children be grateful. My family didn’t have a lot of money. It seemed easier to be grateful for what we had. My children have a lot more than I did and I was concerned that they could be selfish and spoiled as a result. I have been intentional about encouraging gratitude in my children over the years and I have developed some strategies that I think have been effective. I want to share them with you.
The first strategy is to pray daily with your children.
We begin our homeschool day with prayer. The first thing we each pray is what we are thankful for. When I first began this practice, there were often times when my children seemed confused about what to be grateful for. They needed time and wanted their siblings to go first. But the more we did it, the more exposure they had to all the things that their older brothers and I mentioned. My youngest has developed the funny habit of going on and on about what he’s thankful for. If your child is going to keep talking about something, I can’t think of a better topic.
The second strategy for encouraging gratitude is to make children pay for things.
Because I was so concerned that having more money would lead my children to be ungrateful, I required them to pay for any extras that they wanted. In our home that can be anything from candy to an iPod. While I was planning this podcast, my daughter asked if she could buy a new earring tree. I said she could with her own money. This led her to ask if there were any odd jobs she could do for me to make extra cash. When children learn how expensive things are by comparing prices to how much money they have in their accounts, they are more likely to respect what we purchase for them. I know every parent has a different viewpoint on allowance and chores, but I have always given my younger children an allowance. My older children are paid to do bigger chores like mowing the lawn and shipping books. The kids have also worked with their neighborhood friends to shovel driveways, sell lemonade, and wash dogs to add to their income if they aren’t old enough for an outside job. In addition to making children grateful, requiring children to pay for their wants (and not their needs) also encourages them to be frugal.
The next powerful way to encourage your children to be grateful is to have them listen to a missionary presentation.
My family has the advantage of having a missionary in our family. My sister-in-law travels and learns the needs of people in Third World countries. My children have willingly contributed from their own finances to pay for goats for children in need in Africa, for example. Another friend went on a missionary trip and presented her experiences in Bolivia for our co-op. She explained how raising giant guinea pigs provides for families there. Our family chose to support a child through World Vision as a result. If you don’t have a family member or friend who is a missionary, your church or another area church will likely have missionaries speaking.
The next way to cultivate gratitude in our children’s hearts is to read them true stories of people who are less fortunate.
I love the biography of George Mueller by YWAM. The description of orphans who did not have enough to eat or an education but by the grace of God and the ministry of George Muller, speaks powerfully to how blessed my children are. They have both parents living. They have enough food to eat. Other missionary stories by YWAM have helped my children see how fortunate they are that all their siblings are still living. The high school American literature book we are reading now– A Tree Grows in Brooklyn — also portrays hunger in a way my teens can empathize with.
The next way we can encourage our children to be grateful is to have them participate in servant events.
My children and I have participated in food packing events for Feed My Starving Children. I don’t think that simply packing meals and working hard for an hour and a half would convince my children to be grateful. But the videos that are shown after we are done have touched their hearts. This last event we participated in included a video of a young boy who was left in the hot sun on his knees all day, every day. He was extremely emaciated, unable to walk or speak. A woman with the organization asked his mother if she could take him and nurse him back to health and the mother agreed. Video footage of this young boy thriving in response to being fed was so powerful for me and I know it had to be for my children. See if there is a Feed My Starving Children food packing event in your area. I’ll share the link in the show notes. If not, contact charitable organizations in your area. See if they are willing to talk with your family or co-op about the needs in their own community. Another excellent servant event for your kids to participate in Samaritan’s Purse Shoebox ministry. Our homeschool support group serves as a collection point for boxes. During a Thanksgiving activity, videos of children joyfully receiving their shoeboxes helps kids understand that not every child receives the kinds of gifts they do.
Finally, we can encourage our children to be grateful by keeping a prayer journal.
There is so much to be grateful for. We are not only grateful for having enough food to eat and having a family member still with us, but we are grateful for every answered prayer that demonstrates God’s continued love for us. This is something I want to begin in the coming year. I want to record our prayers in a journal and their answers, so my children and I can review God’s faithfulness to us. Thanksgiving would be a wonderful time to read every answered prayer that you have had in the past year. Encourage your children to think small. We aren’t always able to see the results of prayers for salvation, but we can see answered prayer for colds being healed quickly or a child being able to play a sport well. We can use our prayer journals to record God’s supernatural comfort and peace even in the face of prayers that aren’t answered exactly the way we had hoped. You can use any notebook for this, but I created prayer journal templates for you to print and use.
When we use these steps to cultivate gratitude in our children’s hearts, the bonus is that they will also experience joy. Psychological research supports the idea that being grateful and serving others are powerful approaches to instilling happiness. Of course, as we teach our children gratitude, we can find our own joy growing as well.
The iHomeschool Network bloggers have been sharing unit studies on famous people whose birthdays are that month. I wanted to get in on the fun! But I’m unconventional. I chose to create a unit study on a contemporary comedian who is also unconventional: Howie Mandel.
In the process of creating a unit study on Howie Mandel, I learned a lot. I hope our kids will, too. I love the idea of taking a day to study something completely different. Don’t you?
A unit study of Howie Mandel gives us the opportunity to learn about topics we don’t spend a lot of time on in a traditional school day:
Selling
Voice overs
ADD
OCD
Comedy writing, and more!
Howie’s life also serves as a reminder that individual differences can be the source of our success!
Because I love learning new things, I decided to use this unit study as an opportunity to learn a new platform: Teachable. This online learning site allowed me to put this unit study into a series of lessons, including videos and websites. I’ve even opened the comments on the last section so kids can share their funny material. I’ve made the unit study free since I’m working the bugs out.
I hope you and your kids enjoy it. Let me know what you think of the platform or if you have any questions.
If your kids like funny writing, be sure to download my funny writing prompts for fall. Better yet, purchase Grammar Galaxy — a curriculum that makes reading and writing fun every day.
Homeschoolers have to consult a number of different professionals. For example, I am often asked about having children tested for special needs. Another area I am often asked about is seeing a mental health professional. This could be seeking services for yourself, your marriage, or your children. Finally, we may need to consult professionals for our own or our children’s physical needs.
Why is this even an issue? Because as homeschoolers, we tend to lack trust for those who are outside of homeschooling circles. And this is understandable! We are DIYers. We like to do things ourselves and it can be hard to trust those who may not have a favorable view of homeschooling. However, there are times when not seeking professional help is hurting us or hurting our children. In fact, there are instances when failing to seek professional help could be considered neglect. There is no way I can tell you if you’re in that situation. But I can ask you to prayerfully consider whether it is time to seek professional help. One indicator that it is time is that you are you or your child is having difficulty functioning in daily life.
I wish I did not have to mention this as a reason you may be reluctant to seek professional help, but I feel I have to. If we feel that we have something to hide, we may not want to see a professional who could determine that we are not providing the best education for our children. If you are suffering from clinical depression or severe anxiety to the extent that you are not able to educate your children and this is a chronic condition, not a temporary one, I ask you to consider having your children educated in another way for now. Whether that means asking a friend or family member to help, or putting your children in a traditional school, I ask you to do what is best for your children. If people you trust are telling you that need to stop homeschooling, listen to them. Just because homeschooling isn’t the best choice now does not mean that you will never be able to homeschool again.
How to Work with Professionals as a Homeschooler
If the difficulties that you or your children are having do not threaten your ability to adequately educate your children, then I recommend the following six steps.
Get a referral. My favorite way to have people get referrals for professional services is through their local homeschooling support group. If you are part of an online forum, this is an ideal place to ask for the professional you need. Another place to ask, depending on the type of professional you need, is your church. Most pastors are aware of Christian counselors that they can recommend to you. Finally you may have friends who are in the medical or mental health field who can give you a good referral for a professional in your area.
Become a member of HSLDA. This is especially important if there is any reason to believe that you could go through a divorce in the future. More than just practical assistance, a membership to HSLDA provides you with peace of mind. If you should have contact with a professional who is anti-homeschooling and chooses to make an issue of it, you will know that you have good attorneys in your corner.
Pray for favor. It may be the case that you do not have a Christian professional who is pro-homeschooling that you can work with. That does not mean we should be fearful. Nehemiah prayed that he would have favor with an unbelieving king (Nehemiah 1:11) and he did. Pray that the professional you are seeing will be open and supportive to providing the help and services that you or your child needs.
Don’t tell the professional that you’re homeschooling if that information is unnecessary. There are certainly occasions, such as working with a reading specialist, where it’s obvious that you have to say that you’re homeschooling. But if you are seeing a general practitioner for depression and you are interested in taking an antidepressant, for example, there is no need for you to talk about the fact that you are homeschooling, especially if it’s not relevant. If it is necessary to talk about the fact that you are homeschooling, be prepared to educate the professional about homeschooling. Many people still aren’t aware of the facts of homeschooling or they have unfortunately believed some stereotypes about homeschoolers. For example, they may believe homeschoolers isolate their children so they have a better opportunity to abuse them. Because that is a potential issue, make sure you talk with the professional about the activities that you and your children are involved in. Do not be defensive, but be open and positive in response to their questions about it. You may have had some concerns about homeschooling in the beginning too. I know I did. Of course, I was worried about socialization!
Be open to advice. If you have prayed about your consultation with a professional, be willing to listen to what that professional has to say. Of course, this does not mean that you have to accept the advice, but do try to listen to another perspective. You may be given insights that you would not have had on your own. An example of this in my life was when one of my sons was struggling to read phonetically. Using phonics to read is the approach most accepted in homeschooling circles. But I spoke to my neighbor who is a reading specialist, and she told me that I needed to let my son use a whole language approach to read. If you have no idea what whole language is, that’s understandable. It essentially means that you allow your child to memorize words in whole. As soon as I allowed my son to stop sounding out words and to just memorize them, he was reading and feeling confident about his ability to read. Be open to advice you get from professionals. Research it and discuss it with your spouse and others.
Do not be confrontational. The final step I have for you in working with professionals as a homeschooler is one you need to take when your views of the problem and the professional’s view of the problem are in conflict. The Bible tells us to be kind to everyone and able to teach (2 Timothy 2:24). We cannot be kind or teach professionals about the homeschooling lifestyle and the advantages of it, if we are belligerent. If a professional makes a suggestion, such as you need to put your children in school, simply say, “Thank you for the advice. I will consider it.” Then it is well within your rights to move on to a different professional for a second opinion. I would not announce the fact that you are going to seek a second opinion, however. In every way we want to present ourselves as reasonable, open, and concerned with what’s best for our children. If you find that the professional you have consulted is not a good fit, start the process over again. Get another referral, pray for favor, and be open to advice. Sometimes finding the right person to work with can be as challenging as finding the right mate. Be patient and don’t give up.
What experiences have you had working with professionals as a homeschooler? Do you have any other advice? Let’s chat about it on Facebook.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
