If you are one of millions of parents who has had to supervise your child’s education because of the pandemic, this article is for you. Or, if you know a COVID-schooler, I hope you will share it with them.
I have heard from a number of COVID-schoolers in my groups on Facebook. While some of them have embraced true homeschooling, many have been struggling. They try to do their best for their children but cannot wait for schools to get back to normal. This COVID-schooling thing doesn’t work, they think.
First, how do you know if you’re a COVID-schooler?
If your student is:
still enrolled in a school while doing online classes at home
using a curriculum or set of curricula to recreate a classroom education without your participation, or
your student is just doing what is required until they can be back in the classroom, you might be a COVID-schooler.
If you are happy being a COVID-schooler, I’m not going to say you must change. For me, homeschooling is about having the freedom to choose what you believe is best for your family. If what you’re currently doing is serving you, continue on! But if you are struggling and worse yet believe that homeschooling is a terrible option, I want to share some things with you about true homeschooling.
Adopt your own schedule
If you’d like to shift from COVID-schooling to true homeschooling, the first thing you must do is adopt your own schedule. As true homeschoolers, our days and our weeks are filled with activities of our own choosing. That’s true, even when we enroll our kids in online or in-person classes.
If you are trying to work from home and teach your children, you can experience a huge relief in planning your kids’ education around your schedule, not a school’s. Teaching time can take place in the early morning, afternoons, evenings, and even on weekends. You can have a 4-day week or a 7-day week. You can teach year-round with planned breaks or you can follow the school’s schedule. It’s up to you! What’s even better is you can change your mind. If a particular schedule isn’t working right now, change it. No school board meetings are required.
In my own family, we have started school later in the day with teens, have taken days off for birthdays and snow days to have fun, and have taken vacations during off-peak times. The flexible schedule is one of our greatest joys of homeschooling.
Choose your own curriculum
If you are using the same type of materials that the school is using, you are missing out an another joy of homeschooling. If you or your child is bored and doesn’t understand the curriculum, you are experiencing unnecessary frustration.
Let’s take grammar as an example. The standard approach is having the teacher explain that a noun is a person, place, thing, or idea. Students then complete a worksheet that asks them to identify the nouns. This is how I was taught grammar. Not so fun, right? And utterly forgettable. Excellent classroom teachers will also incorporate games to teach the concept. But now that students are learning online, playing classroom games becomes a lot more challenging.
When I started homeschooling, I was surprised to find a curriculum that uses songs to teach grammar. The repetition helped my kids to learn their parts of speech. The problem? They hated the songs.
That’s why I created Grammar Galaxy–elementary language arts curriculum that teaches grammar and other concepts using story. Nouns are abducted from planet Sentence and guardians (your students) have to put them back on the streets where they live–Person, Place, and Thing Street. Games, a few songs, and short lessons make this curriculum beloved by kids. But what they really love is having you learning with them. That’s recommendation #3.
Learn with your children
If you are trying to corral your child in front of the computer or a workbook to learn all day, you are missing out on another incredible blessing of true homeschooling–participating in their education.
Parents of traditionally schooled students have been told that education is to be done by the experts. Step aside and let the teachers do their jobs. However, research of homeschooling suggests that parents without teaching degrees can do as well or better in teaching their own children. No teaching model can outdo one-on-one tutoring. That’s just common sense.
The argument against parents homeschooling is that you can’t teach what you don’t know. The rebuttal is that it’s possible to learn as you go. I have shared this before, but I did not study world history in all my years of education. Even though I had no world history experience, I didn’t put my kids in classes with a trained teacher. Instead, I used excellent materials from Konos, Mystery of History, Notgrass, along with historical fiction to learn along with my kids. I have learned so much and I’ve had a blast doing it. If you want to take a teaching role in a subject you haven’t learned yourself, look for curriculum that gives you a script of exactly what to say. There are many of them out there. If you can read out loud, you can teach.
But what if you don’t know the answer to your child’s question? What if your child isn’t understanding a concept using the curriculum you’ve chosen? First, look for helps available with your particular curriculum. There are extra helps designed to go along with many curricula in the form of videos and additional worksheets. I include a list of helps for each lesson in Grammar Galaxy on a website for purchasers, for example. Many homeschool publishers like me also have user groups where someone will be happy to answer your question. If you prefer, you can reach out via phone or email for help, too.
Beyond using your particular curriulum resources, reach out to other homeschoolers for help. You can find other parents with strong skills in areas you feel weaker in. Get help solving a math problem, determining why an experiment didn’t work, or editing a paper. Homeschoolers love giving assistance. My Homeschool Sanity Circle group on Facebook is a great place to start.
Go Pro
That brings me to the last recommendation I have for you to move from COVID-schooling to true homeschooling. Go pro. Stop treating homeschooling like a part-time, emergency-use-authorization form of education. Embrace it as your career.
I know women who work full-time jobs and homeschool, too. But this path is not for the faint of heart. In most cases, it will require much assistance from a spouse or extended family member–especially if you have younger children. I did not work a business or outside job when I began homeschooling and I’m thankful I had that opportunity to focus on my family and their education. Homeschooling was more of a joy than a burden. If that’s not true for you, and you can afford to, I encourage you to reduce your working hours to make homeschooling a full-time career.
As a psychologist and someone who wanted to write and speak, I was worried that homeschooling wouldn’t be fulfilling. I thought I would be bored and miserable. My experience was the opposite. I’m not saying I never had days that were difficult. Dealing with messes and bad attitudes (mine and theirs) while changing diapers wasn’t a joy ride. But I know now why the Lord called me to homeschool. Here are a few reasons:
It taught me a love of learning and gave me a front-row seat to watch my children learn to do everything from read to cook to navigate conflict.
It gave me the opportunity to not just teach my children the faith but live it out in front of them.
It built a closeness in our family that I could only dream of.
We have had so much fun. We’ve built castles, hosted banquets, and toured prisons–usually with friends.
I wouldn’t trade these blessings for another career that offered me more free time, more money, or a cleaner house. Homeschooling isn’t for everyone, but if you think it’s for you, I encourage you to fully embrace it.
Conclusion
This summer I played tennis with a neighbor who told me she was planning on having her girls do online classes through the public school this year, though the experience hadn’t been good in the spring. I encouraged her to consider homeschooling, but I checked in with her and learned that she planned to stick with COVID-schooling. A week after school had begun, however, she contacted me, wanting to know more about homeschooling. COVID-schooling was beyond frustrating for her.
We talked and I shared much of what I have discussed in this episode. As a result, she decided to begin true homeschooling. A short time later, after adopting her own schedule and curriculum, spending time learning with her children, and embracing homeschooling as her career, she thanked me. It had not only been life-changing for her, she said, but she was actually thankful that COVID brought homeschooling into her life.
I would love to see more women find the joy that is available in true homeschooling. Please share this article with COVID-schoolers you know.
As a clinical psychologist, I know that most organizing plans and programs will work if someone is motivated. The trouble is that motivation wanes after the initial excitement of starting a new plan. I had a woman call me to ask what book she had purchased from me months before at a Great Homeschool Convention. It was The Organized Homeschool Life. We both laughed.
I want to help women maintain their motivation for organizing because I know the peace and joy that are available when we establish the habit of organizing. To that end, I am writing devotions for an organized life. They will include a tiny organizing task to complete each day. When published, there will be a devotion for each day of the year. But for my own accountability and your benefit until then, I will publish a devotion here and to my subscribers each Friday. Click here to subscribe to the Psychowith6 newsletter to receive your weekly devotion.
All scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of god may be competent, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
I had read a number of books I hoped would help me get my act together. But I had never read the entire Bible. I didn’t even think that was advisable! To me, the Bible was a reference book. You looked up the verses you needed and back on the shelf it went.
That is until I heard Becky Tirabassi speak. She gave a full-day seminar on changing your life as part of a Women of Faith conference. Becky shared how God had lovingly and dramatically delivered her from alcoholism. After she came to know Jesus, she committed herself to what she called “an appointment with the King” each day.
Her daily appointments with God included reading enough of the book He had written that she would finish the entire Bible in a year. I didn’t know what that entailed, but I knew I wanted to change my life. I stood up when she asked who was committed to having an appointment with the King each day.
There were challenging days of reading ahead, like the day I gave birth to a nine-and-half-pound baby and could barely keep my eyes open. But I persevered, spending an average of just 12 minutes a day reading the Bible.
A year later I had read the entire Bible and could honestly testify that my life was changed. I still needed help in the organizing department, but I knew that God loved me. And I knew there was hope for a messy woman like me.
TINY TASK: Commit to having an appointment with the King each day. Choose a Bible or Bible reading plan that will allow you to read the entire Bible in one to three years.
Science has been in the news a lot lately. And misunderstanding about science has me taking action this week. You may not know that my education and even my training as a psychologist centered much more on doing and analyzing research then it did on clinical practice. In fact, my job in graduate school was coordinating clinical drug trials.
In this article, I’m going to use what I know about science to share three principles our kids must learn while they are in our homeschools. If they don’t, they can be seriously misled, even if they do well on their college entrance exams.
Speaking of college entrance exams, I want to make it clear that this post isn’t about helping kids do well on them. Many homeschoolers believe that they must teach their kids science information in order for them to do well on the ACT and SAT. The SAT does not have a science section, however, and the ACT’s science section is not a test of knowledge as much as it is a test of nonfiction reading comprehension speed. Your student will have to pick out information from tables and graphs and text that is all new.
I include science vocabulary and nonfiction reading comprehension in grammar galaxy elementary language arts curriculum because learning these concepts is important. My newly released volume blue Star is a great place to look for these lessons. You can still use code podcast to save 15% on your grammar galaxy order. To see if it is right for your students, go to GrammarGalaxyBooks.com/samples.
What does your homeschooler need to know about science?
#1 Science isn’t just facts.
The first thing your student needs to know is that science isn’t just a collection of facts. While it is useful to know that water boils at 212°F / 100 degrees Celsius and interesting to know that Neutron stars can spin 600 times per second, science isn’t just a body of knowledge. This notion of science as fact is what leads to labeling of people as science deniers and the popular sign platitude “science is real.” If science is established fact, we must believe it or be ignorant threats to society.
But science is not just a body of knowledge. An online dictionary defines science this way: “the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment.” In other words, science is a method of inquiry by which we seek to understand ourselves and our world. The study is ongoing and is not one and done.
I invited my friend and evolution researcher Dr. Carl Warner to join me on The Homeschool Sanity Show. His research is convincing that macro-evolution is not settled science that belongs in the body of knowledge category. I was just reading an astronomy paper that described the dilemma of dating a star that appears to be older than the universe. Even evolutionary scientists have to reappraise what they consider to be facts.
#2 Science is not opinion.
The second principle we must teach our children about science is that it is not opinion. When it comes to mask mandates in the midst of a pandemic, I have heard people say we must follow the science. Science cannot give us a mask mandate, nor can it tell us that we should not have one. Instead, people have to give us their opinion of the research that has been done.
A variety of studies have been conducted on the effectiveness of mask wearing. Some are studies of health care workers. Some are comparisons of infection rates in areas with mask mandates and those without. Still other studies are conducted only in the lab, with no way of knowing if the results translate into decreased infection rates in everyday life.
Research papers accepted for publication generally begin with a review of research in that area of study that leads to the investigators’ hypothesis about what results they will obtain. After the data are presented, the study authors give their opinion on what the results mean. Researchers generally admit to the flaws in their study design and call for further research in other settings and populations to determine if their results hold up.
But this is not the type of scientific opinion we get in the media. One lab study on masks I read concluded with the opinion that mask wearing might prevent sick people from spreading infection. This opinion would likely be rewritten for the media as “masks work” when that wasn’t the researchers stance.
When I have shared my contention that science isn’t opinion, a few people have said, “So you’re saying that you don’t believe masks work.” My response is, “No, I’m saying we don’t know.” Science is ongoing investigation. We need a lot more types of study in a variety of settings and populations to feel confident in giving an opinion. Of course, that hasn’t kept a number of professionals and politicians from confidently giving an opinion. You and I may already have an opinion, but that opinion is not science.
#3 Science requires validation
The third principle we must teach our children about science is the need for validation. I have mentioned previously that I participate in Caveday, a Zoom accountability meeting for productivity. Last week one of the leaders said that she had the unusual ability to put and keep her hands together, with the middle knuckles bent, while being able to separate her ring fingers. I was easily able to do this and said so in the chat. She asked me to show her, so I did. She pointed out, much to my embarrassment, that I had to keep my middle fingers touching at the knuckles. Then I couldn’t do it. I’ll demonstrate on a Facebook Live soon, so you can see what I mean and try it yourself.
My point in telling you this is that I could have gone around saying that I had experimented to discover that I had this unique ability, but my experiment had no validity. I wasn’t measuring the right thing and couldn’t replicate or repeat my results.
Let’s talk about tests for COVID-19 in terms of validity. To be sure that the tests work, we have to have a number of people who are known (via electron microscope image of blood samples) to have significant quantities of the virus in their systems that is also responsible for their symptoms. No other microbe should be present that can explain their illness. Then the test (using a sample from a patient) should be positive only for those people who have a COVID-19 infection. It should be negative for those who don’t. The test should be sensitive enough to pick up true infections in sick people but not so sensitive that it picks up traces of virus that either aren’t related to COVID-19 or aren’t a risk to the patient or others they come into contact with. As with any medical test, data has to be collected and analyzed for a long period of time (typically years) in various settings to determine how accurate the test is. We are continuing to get data on COVID test validity.
The need for validity is important for more than just testing. One of the ways researchers establish validity is through the randomized, double-blind controlled trial. These trials attempt to minimize bias and the placebo effect. We know that our beliefs can easily affect results, whether we are the researcher or the patient. For example, my young children believed that bandages were pain relievers. As soon as the bandage was applied, the tears stopped. Of course, bandages have no analgesic properties. But my kids’ experience would tell me that they do.
A randomized, controlled trial attempts to keep both subjects and researchers in the dark as to who is really getting a vaccine or taking a medication. The problems with doing this with respect to mask wearing should be obvious. But using placebos in drug trials can be just as problematic. The experience of certain side effects can clue both patient and researcher in to a patient taking a drug and not a placebo. In some trials, there is also the ethical dilemma of not giving all patients a treatment that could save their lives.
There has been quite a bit of controversy over the effectiveness of HCQ in treating and preventing COVID-19. You’ve no doubt heard officials argue that randomly controlled trials have not proven its effectiveness. Meanwhile, some physicians have argued that they have case studies (that are not random or blinded) that show it works. They have also suggested that HCQ works when patients aren’t already critically ill and when it’s combined with zinc and an antibiotic. Who is right? You and I no doubt have an opinion on that, but again science is not opinion. Continued study will be required to have confidence in recommendations.
Related to validity is the principle that correlation is not causation. Correlation means that two events or characteristics co-occur at higher rates than would be expected by chance. I have no data on this, but in the early years of my homeschooling, I noted a large number of mini-vans at homeschooling events. My guess is that data collection would have shown that there was a modest correlation between homeschooling and driving a minivan. But a correlation is not causation. When a family decided to homeschool, they wouldn’t feel compelled to buy a minivan, nor would anyone gift them one. There are other variables that can explain why homeschoolers drove minivans more often than other families. One of those variables is likely family size. If we looked more closely at the data, we might see that homeschoolers who have more than three kids drove minivans at a higher rate than those with smaller families. In addition, we would likely find larger families in homeschooling communities than in the population at large.
Confusion of correlation with causation causes us all kinds of grief. This is why people who have panic attacks can develop agoraphobia. If a person has a panic attack at a shopping mall, the mall is subconsciously assumed to be the cause of the attack. Malls must be avoided. When the next attack occurs at the grocery store, they are avoided, too.
Let’s apply this concept to data about health and people groups. If one group of people has poorer outcomes when contracting COVID-19, does that mean that their race, diagnosis, or mask laws are responsible? Not necessarily. A number of variables could explain that association. Medical professionals, politicians, and your neighbors may tell you that a specific correlation is why some people are getting sicker and are even dying as a result of COVID-19, but that’s an opinion and not science. We need a lot more study to inform opinion and that study takes time.
Conclusion
In teaching your children that science isn’t just facts, that it’s not opinion, and that it requires validation, I hope they’ll be confident responding to labels of science denier and assertions that science is real. They will understand, as many do not, that science is ongoing study. Expert opinion will change as we gather more data.
My personal confidence is in Christ. I believe that my days are numbered. If the Lord chooses to call me home via a COVID infection, I know it’s not only the right thing, but there is nothing I can do to change His plan. By the same token, I know that if the Lord chooses to keep me here ministering to my family and others, I have nothing to fear. If you need help trusting God, read the year-long series I did on this topic.
If you are starting your homeschool year for the first time or the tenth, you need to be organized to be successful. Here are six organizing tools that will help.
#1 The Organized Homeschool Life Book and Planner
I thought homeschooling a preschooler would be easy. It should have been, but my lack of routines and planning led to failure.
Having a simple plan of 15-minute missions to organize every area of your homeschooling life will make all the difference. If you are already time disciplined, all you need is The Organized Homeschool Life book. But if you don’t know how to squeeze 15 minutes of organizing into your busy day, you need The Organized Homeschool Life planner.
The Organized Homeschool Life Planner isn’t a lesson planner. You’ll need a separate book for that. I love this Acco four-person appointment book. It’s perfect for creating a lesson plan for up to four kids. My advice is to work no further out than a week at a time.
#3 Mead Modern Chic Academic Planner
Your students need a planner to work from. This academic planner from Mead is attractive and easy to use.
#4 Big Plans 12×12 Wall Calendar
A wall calendar is a great way to keep the family organized. I love this big one from Mead that has a place for morning, afternoon, and evening.
These Mead 5-Star notebooks have space for kids to store loose papers and are designed to hold reference material students refer to all year. The front cover labels, table of contents, and thick paper make these notebooks perfect for staying organized.
Conclusion
Getting and staying organized this homeschool year is easier with the right tools. Check out these six options that I’m excited about.
I’ve homeschooled for more than 20 years. I feel better about sharing homeschooling advice on The Homeschool Sanity Show with other homeschoolers today than when I was less experienced. When you’re looking for advice starting out as a homeschooling mom or heading into a new phase of homeschooling, you would be wise to seek out a veteran homeschool mom. Here are six reasons homeschoolers need to look to veteran moms for counsel.
#1 A newer homeschooler may burn out on her present path.
It’s tempting to try to copy what an ambitious new homeschooler is doing with multiple curricula, lots of unit studies, or numerous extracurricular activities, especially because her homeschool looks so appealing on Instagram. However, you have no idea if the homeschooler you so admire can keep up the pace or if it’s even wise to do so. Of course, it’s also possible that while she may be able to “do it all,” you won’t be able to. You’ll think you’re just not cut out for homeschooling when it’s this do-it-all style that doesn’t fit. It took me years to discover that I was trying to do too much and that’s why I was so tired.
#2 A newer homeschooler hasn’t faced many personal challenges in her homeschooling.
The less time you’ve homeschooled, the less experience you have homeschooling while pregnant, while battling a serious illness in yourself or a family member, or while dealing with relationship conflict. Most people can homeschool when life goes according to plan. But life will NOT always go according to plan. You need the counsel of a godly homeschool mom who’s walked through the valley. I’ve homeschooled in all three situations and learned that homeschooling is an ideal lifestyle for these times. But I needed reminders from veteran homeschool moms to accept that it was okay to take a break from school at these times.
#3 A newer homeschooler may not have an established identity.
She may still long to impress family through her children’s accomplishments. She may still want to be accepted by others who have impossibly high standards. She may still battle self-esteem issues that stem from childhood. A veteran homeschool mom has had years to discover that her real identity is in Christ. She knows it has nothing to do with her kids’ trophies or scholarships. She will remind you that you are wonderful just as you are.
#4 A newer homeschooler, especially one with young children, has not had to manage rebellion.
Yes, there are some mothers whose children do not rebel, but you may not be one of the lucky few. A child who suddenly resists your authority, your values, and your faith is one of the most discouraging experiences to a homeschool mom. A newer homeschooler giving advice may immediately assume you’ve done something wrong to bring about the rebellion. A veteran homeschool mom will tell you that it’s normal, that they’ll pray for you, and above all that it will be okay. I thank God for veteran homeschool moms who told me that God loved my child even in rebellion and who didn’t blame me for what I was going through.
#5 A newer homeschooler may have little experience with diverse educational options.
Newer homeschool moms may not have experience with in-home co-ops, learning centers, or sending a child to school. Veteran moms likely have experience with all of these or knows someone who does who can advise you. I’m thankful for veteran homeschool moms who could guide me through having a child go to school. I’m thankful, too, for veteran homeschool moms who know the pros and cons of multiple teaching environments and don’t judge me for making the decision I believe is best for my children.
#6 A newer homeschooler may have little to no experience with sending a child to college or into the work force.
Many homeschool moms choose to overload their schedules with classes and activities so their child can get into college or earn a scholarship. I have appreciated the counsel of veteran homeschool moms who have shown me that it doesn’t require Herculean effort to have a homeschooled child accepted to college or to get them established in a career. I can tell you that college and scholarships have been easy for us!
I have been at home with my kids full-time for 23 years. It wasn’t what I wanted at first and I’ve had my share of challenges, but now I’m so grateful for the time I’ve had. If you’re a homeschooler whose kids are now home from outside classes and activities because of sheltering in or you’re new to having your kids home from school, this episode is for you. I want to share simple tips that will have you not just surviving but thriving with your kids home full-time.
I didn’t want to stay home with my kids full-time originally. I planned on working as a clinical psychologist part-time. But my first baby kept getting ear infections while in daycare, and I kept having to cancel my appointments. I moved to having sessions two evenings a week and then quit my practice entirely when I had my second child. When I had three children, I felt called to homeschool. I gave it a try with my preschooler.
I had struggles both with staying home with my kids and with homeschooling them that you can avoid with the tips I’m going to share with you today.
The first tip is to adjust your expectations.
I thought I would be able to get things done while home with my young children. I had freelance writing deadlines and conferences I was keynoting at the time. I counted on nap times to get my work done. Whenever I counted on nap time, I could be sure that my child wouldn’t sleep or something else would happen to interrupt me.
If you are currently working from home while trying to manage your children’s education, God bless you. What you are doing is not easy. There is no trick you are missing. Other people are not doing it well while you struggle. The truth is you are unlikely to get as much work done as you did before your children were home full-time. If you accept that, your days will be smoother.
I thought that staying home with a toddler would be a delight. I took my little guy to the mall to walk with a friend in the mornings. My expectations set me up for a lot of disappointment. My strong-willed child hated to be buckled into his car seat. The Herculean effort required to buckle him did not start the morning off well. Then he would deftly extricate himself from his stroller and would stand up in it as I pushed, looking like Kate Winslet on the bow of the Titanic. Even after I got him a stroller with a 5-point restraint, I let him out and he ran into Victoria Secret and flung the neatly folded lingerie out of the drawers as quickly as he could.
Homeschooling him went no better. I expected to have a darling little cherub of a student who would rise up and call me blessed. I didn’t get that. My son had not signed off on my educational plan. He wanted to avoid anything that required him to sit down and pay attention to me when there were so many other fun things to explore.
And I am not an outlier. I don’t know anyone whose high expectations of their children and homeschooling have been fulfilled. And that was in a time when the entire world wasn’t reeling from the impact of a pandemic. Our children are just as disoriented by all the changes as we are. Instead of believing that you’ll be able to get all your work done and your children will cheerfully, independently do their school assignments and chores and will seek out plenty of educational enrichment activities, adopt this motto: what can go wrong will go wrong. Then when you experience the unexpected gift of accomplishment, you’ll rejoice.
With low expectations, you can create a routine or schedule that has the best chance of success. Trying to accomplish two objectives at once is destined to fail. If you’re going to try to work and parent or work and teach, you’ll do neither well. Arrange a routine in which you first spend time with your kids to get them going on activities. Really attend to them. Go over the chore, the worksheet, or the activity. Have them repeat in their own words what they are to do. Explain that when the activity is complete, they will get to have a break to do something pleasant: play outside, play a board game, or have screen time.
That is when you are going to have time devoted to work. Explain to your children that interruptions of your work time for non-emergencies will result in shortened free time. The younger your children, the shorter your work periods will have to be. Consider alternating child supervision with a spouse or older children. And remember to expect the worst.
My second tip for staying sane with kids home full-time is to reserve time to recharge.
When I began staying home full-time with my child, the loneliness for this extrovert was a killer. I became depressed because I didn’t have work colleagues to talk to. I wasn’t allowing myself time for hobbies, either. Later, homeschooling limited my social contacts as friends put their kids in school and spent more time with other school parents.
I was able to recharge by first starting a stay-at-home-mom Bible study for women at my church. The Bible study, social, and scrapbooking time made a huge difference in my mood and in my ability to be a patient, loving parent. As a homeschooler, I created a home-based co-op so I could do the same with homeschooling friends. My kids loved spending time with other children and my visits with moms helped me stay sane and manage my expectations with a veteran homeschooler’s counsel.
I wrote How to Be Happy and Homeschool Too in which I argue that we need time to recharge doing something other than homeschooling. I think that’s just as important as we shelter in place. Unfortunately, socializing has become a lot more difficult. But it’s not impossible. We can use apps like Houseparty to get together with friends and have that book club, Bible study, or craft time. Aside from socializing, we can make sure we have time alone for devotions, reading, or exercising by communicating our need for it with our family. Take turns with a spouse or reserve screen time so you can have the quiet you need to be recharged. If you’re not sure about self-care, read my recent article on Is Self-Care a Snare. I urge you not to skimp on sleep now to meet other needs. I’ve made the decision to stop staying up late during this time and the difference in my mood is dramatic. The other thing I do to recharge is get dressed every day and share in the Get Your Pretty On group on Facebook. I love having the outfit and the interaction to look forward to each day. Find free outfit formulas to use with the clothes you own.
My third tip for staying sane with kids home full-time is to focus on what your kids need most.
When I started homeschooling, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to teach my kids because I’m not a trained teacher. I didn’t know any of the tricks I was sure teachers had learned for teaching my kids to read or do math. I was also worried that my pregnancies in which I was so fatigued and the constant interruptions in education caused by my toddlers and preschoolers were doing my kids irreparable harm.
Soon I will have four graduates, all of whom have earned A’s in college courses. More importantly, they are well adjusted adults who love God and are close to their families. I have to give all the credit for that to Jesus. Even though I am a psychologist, I am naturally lazy, disorganized, and prone to anger. That leads me to share what I think kids need most. It happens to coincide with the greatest commandments: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Our kids need to see us loving God, loving our spouse, and loving them. Our current situation is like a final exam with that. If you can keep loving in the midst of fear and uncertainty and disruption, what an amazing lesson that is for your kids. We provide them then not just with love but security.
Take the time to pray and read the Bible together each day. You can use a prepared devotional, but you don’t have to. We still pray prayers of thanksgiving, repentance, and supplication for ourselves and others in need and it has been time well spent. I always come away from our family devotional time with more peace.
Also give your children individual time. Our kids need time with us to connect and share. Spending time with each child doing what he or she enjoys most will pay dividends in better behavior and less sibling squabbling. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time and each child doesn’t have to have that time daily. With six kids, I gave each child a day of the week. That was their day to have the choice seat, make decisions, and have time with me. In your individual time, ask your child about their adjustment to sheltering in. To draw them out, ask about their least favorite things about it and the things they enjoy about it. Ask what if anything you can do to help them adjust.
The next best thing your children need now is reading. The worst thing that happens educationally for children is what teachers call the summer slide–a break during which kids quit reading. Don’t allow sheltering in to be a time your children put the books down. If your school district doesn’t provide online instruction or at-home curriculum, have your children read, read aloud to them, or listen to audiobooks. Public libraries have digital books to check out. Numerous classic books are available for free online. And consider Grammar Galaxy, a short, fun curriculum you can read aloud or listen to as a family. Reading in any format improves vocabulary which is the best predictor of academic and life success.
Finally, what your children need now is memories. None of us will forget this time of being home together. But how will we remember it? Let’s make the memories sweet. I think we can do that by shared activities, celebrations, and games.
Our college boys are home for the year. One of our sons loves going on challenging bike rides. My husband has been going with him, even though our son pushes him to his limit. They both love it and the relationship that is being strengthened in this. The first Sunday we stayed home from church, my family planned a huge breakfast. Several of the kids helped prepare the food for it. I don’t think we’ve had a more memorable meal outside of Thanksgiving. Easter is coming up and the kids are already asking me for special foods. I plan to dress up for watching the livestream of our service together. I don’t know if I can talk the kids into dressing up, but I’ll try! Finally, we have been playing indoor and outdoor games together and having so much fun. We had a blast playing spoons and the app Psych!. We have played pickleball and four square outside. We got out our stilts that have been sitting for years and I was even using them.
Use this time to create shared experiences. Cook together, exercise together. Plan celebrations for your family. Have extended family join you via FaceTime or another video app. And play games together. Make a list of games you have. Try some you haven’t played much and give any away you don’t enjoy. Consider playing some of the free grammar games I share on my site. Or sign up for the Grammar Guardians mission calendar for free.
Conclusion
When you adjust your expectations, reserve time to recharge, and give your kids what they need, you’ll not only survive this time, you’ll thrive during it.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
