Do you regularly find yourself at the end of the school day with nothing to show for it? Do you feel like you aren’t getting anything done? If that’s you, you’re in good company. I regularly hear from homeschoolers just like you and I can’t wait to share the solution I give them.
Before I tell you why you aren’t getting anything done in your homeschool, I want you to know that I’ve been there. I started homeschooling my oldest child for preschool. Yes, I had a toddler and a baby at the time, but I could not understand why I wasn’t getting to the preschool curriculum I looked forward to teaching. My laundry piled up, my house was a wreck, and I had no idea what was for dinner. My husband was frustrated and so was I. That’s when I knew that I couldn’t homeschool my kids. If I wasn’t going to be able to teach them the important subjects beyond preschool, I did not want to risk being arrested for educational neglect. I also knew I could not have any more children and that made me sad. But I obviously couldn’t handle any more than I already had.
I hope you understand from my story that I can relate to you if you feel like your children are behind, the house is cluttered, and you feel like a failure. When we are in this place, we tend to think that there is something fundamentally wrong with us, our kids, or even with homeschooling. Please hear me when I say there is not. Instead, there are three main reasons we become stuck in chaos. Fortunately, the fix is simple.
Three Reasons We Aren’t Getting Anything Done in Our Homeschools
Reason #1: We believe we can get things done.
The first reason we aren’t getting anything done is because we believe we can. What a crazy statement, right? You may think I’ve finally lost it because you know I have said before that you can do this. Allow me to explain.
When we believe we can overcome the chaos, we raise our expectations. Tomorrow will be different, we tell ourselves. We’re going to have a plan and our family will follow it. We will be the patient, loving mother of our homeschool dreams. We typically don’t give our families the memo that tomorrow is going to be a miraculously awesome day. And as a result, they don’t cooperate. They whine and cry and fight you over everything you have planned. And don’t forget the interruptions. The diaper blowout, the dog escaping from the yard, and the dishwasher that starts leaking.
If we believe we can overcome the chaos, we’re going to be disappointed. We’re going to blow our top. We’re going to decide that we were right in the first place and conclude that we can’t do this homeschooling stuff.
Another reason we ought not to believe that we can get things accomplished in our homeschools is because we’re going to be exhausted. Even though I wasn’t getting anything done when I began homeschooling, I was tired. I was worn out. And the thought of staying up later, working harder, and giving it more of an effort exhausted me. The harder I tried, the harder I fell. If you believe you can do this on your own, there is one benefit to this approach. You’ll come to the true solution faster. So if I haven’t convinced you that you can’t conquer the chaos, go right ahead and give it your best shot. Just remember to come back and listen to this podcast again. I know of what I speak. I am a self-made homeschooler. I want to do it all my way without help, thank you very much. But I can’t do it. I honestly can’t.
If you want to get things done in your homeschool, if you want to spend time with your preschooler, teach your first-grader to read, and help your third-grader master long division, you’re going to have to admit that you can’t. You’re not capable. Instead if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you have to believe that God is your help. God can change you. Believe that He can empower you to do all the things that count.
This is the point in most articles like this where I tell you that you need to pray. But if you stop and pray one time, “Lord, help me,” you’ll see very little difference in your homeschool. You’ll go back to depending on your own strength. And the chaos will continue. Instead of throwing up one desperate prayer today or even asking for help each morning of your day, ask for help constantly. And you have to rest in believing prayer. Here’s what I mean.
Have you ever been in training for a new job? I have. I had to ask how to do everything. I did not believe that I knew best how to do the job. I asked for help and supervision every step of the way. If I had customer with a question I didn’t know the answer to, I immediately turned to my trainer. This is how we must be in our homeschools, no matter how long we’ve been doing it. When the kids are squabbling, when a student is dawdling, or and interruption changes your day, you go to your supervisor and say, what now?
I believed my supervisor had the answers to my questions and could make me into a competent employee. Believe that God can advise you, help you, and make you into the homeschooling mother He wants you to be. Yes, I advise you to either start or end your day in prayer and God’s word. Reading God’s word is like reading the training manual for your new job, except we never get out of training. You won’t understand how God is making things work in your homeschool and in your life until you live in complete believing dependence on Him.
When you stop believing or stop asking and you blow it, simply ask for forgiveness. I once worked in a sub sandwich shop that had excellent training. The first night that I closed the shop on my own, I had a problem. I blew it! I locked the front door of the shop as I was supposed to. I finished all of my cleaning chores and did the last chore of the day. I took the trash out to the dumpster behind the store. As I added the bag of trash to the dumpster, I remembered my supervisor saying to make sure to prop the door open, so I could get back in. That’s when I heard the click of the door locking. My purse and keys were locked in the shop and the shop’s lights were left on. It was the middle of the night and I had no phone. I found a pay phone, called 911, and the police called my supervisor. I was certain I would be fired. My supervisor had been awakened in the middle of the night to come get me back into the store. Instead she laughed and told me it was fine. I kept working there and became a trusted employee.
When we mess up in our homeschools, God doesn’t mind if we come to Him, confessing, and asking for help. We simply go on with our work as I did at the sub sandwich shop.
Reason #2: No routine.
The main reason we aren’t getting anything done in our homeschools is because are trying to do the work in our own strength. We are not believing that God alone can give us success. The second reason we aren’t getting anything done is because we do not have a routine.
At the end of a day when I was first homeschooling, I had no idea what I had accomplished. That’s because every day was different. I woke up at a different time, prepared meals at various times, and did not pick up or teach at any particular time. You have likely heard me or FlyLady talk about the importance of routines. Routines, once I’d adopted them, are the reason I could identify what I had done during the day. Routines gave me and my family a sense of control.
You may be similar to me in that I wanted freedom as a homeschooler. I didn’t want rules for how my days went. The truth is that freedom does not come in unpredictable days. Freedom comes from predictability. When you know what to expect each day, you are free to be present with your children. You know you will have an opportunity to do the things that matter. You know your house and your school are in order, so you are free to enjoy conversation with your husband and family time in the evenings.
When our homeschool is out of control, it’s very difficult to determine what your routine should be. I can relate! When I found FLYLady, I copied her routines. Her routine, even though she wasn’t a homeschooling mom, gave me the structure I needed to get started. I was soon able to modify her routine for my purposes. I found that my husband, my children, and I thrived with a routine.
I want you to get started today with a routine. I’m going to share my routine with you so you can modify it for your family’s needs.
My recommended homeschool routine
My routine for you includes morning activities prior to the children getting up. If your children are early risers, check the alternative times for your time later in the day.
First, mom gets up and exercises or walks
Next, mom has breakfast and chats with husband if available
Mom has quiet time with the Lord and plans her day
Kids wake up and have breakfast. This is where moms with early-rising kids begin their day.
Mom and kids do chores
Family time school, including Bible, read aloud subjects, and memory work
Quick exercise time. Have the kids do jumping jacks, sit-ups, or push-ups to get the blood flowing to their brains. You better join them or they’ll complain.
Individual time with kids. Children who are not with you are working on a subject like math together near you. They may also be reading or playing assigned games or activities together.
Lunch break. After eating and cleaning up, kids go outside if possible or play inside while mom does email, social media, or other tasks.
Loop schedule. Subjects like art and science experiments are looped here. Every day you are home to do school, you’ll do the next subject. If you are home for school on Monday and Wednesday, for example, you would do art on Monday and science experiments on Wednesday.
Snacktime.
Worktime. This is nap time for youngers, more individual work time for olders, and mom’s work time. Children may also be occupied with educational videos and games at this time. Mom may have her quiet/planning time here if she has early risers.
Flex time. This is a time left open for leftover tasks, unexpected demands, or outside activities. Mom may choose to work out here if she has early risers.
Dinner and family time.
Kids’ bedtime routine.
Adult time. This is time for you to read and relax with your husband.
Lights out.
If you already know that you need to change an aspect of this routine now, go for it. But I recommend that you try it before concluding that it won’t work.
When you have a working routine ready to go, post in a visible location. Share it with your kids and your husband and walk them through each part of it.
When you are ready, you can create routines for days you attend co-op and weekend days too. The most important thing is developing a realistic routine. I’ve used this routine and I know it works.
Reason #3: Your children don’t respect your time boundaries.
When you believe that only God can help you get things done in your homeschool and you have a routine you’re following, you are beginning to see results. But this third reason you’re not getting things done can stand in your way. It is incredibly common. Your children do not respect your time boundaries.
If you are beginning morning time, and kids start clammering to do science experiments, you either give in and do them or you throw up your hands in despair and say that the routine doesn’t work.
You are working with Junior on his phonics when sister interrupts to ask for help with math. If you stop what you’re doing to help sister, you’ve just taught Junior that he is welcome to interrupt any time too. You’re in your work time and the kids’ bickering or demands are keeping you from getting anything done.
Early on in my homeschooling, I was a frequent radio guest. I would be on the phone and live on air. I had to ask my husband for help when he was home to keep the kids away from me. On one of these occasions, I was in my basement when my oldest came creeping down the stairs. I was waving wildly to get him to go back up and he did not. Fortunately, he was quiet. As soon as the station took a break, I put the phone down and bolted upstairs to see what was going on. I saw my toddler walking through the kitchen, steak knife in hand. My husband was sitting outside, chatting on the phone. I had to explain again what watching the kids while I was being interviewed meant.
It can take time to convince your family that you mean business, but don’t give up. Post signs as reminders that you are working. Create consequences for unnecessary interruptions. One I particularly like is to assign some of my work to the kids because they wasted my time.
If you question whether your children can be trained to respect your boundaries, think about whether there are people whose boundaries they do respect. My kids knew not to walk into my husband’s office when he was on the phone, for example, because he had enforced those boundaries.
If we are meeting our children’s needs for attention, comfort, and education, they are more likely to respect our boundaries of reasonable work periods. The younger your children are, the shorter those work periods need to be.
Conclusion
If you believe you are incapable of getting things done in your own strength, if you create a routine for yourself and your family, and you establish and enforce boundaries, you can find that you are getting more done than you ever dreamed. That’s been my experience!
Which of these reasons is the main reason you aren’t getting things done in your homeschool?
Avoiding these six parenting traps can help you have a more successful homeschool year. Scroll down to determine if you’ve fallen victim to any of these parenting faux pas.
The first one is the most important. If you don’t have a discipline plan for your homeschool, you will struggle. Having disobedient, unresponsive kids is the number one complaint I hear from homeschooling parents. Nothing has the capacity to waylay your homeschool plans like not having a plan for discipline.
Without a discipline plan, disrespect and disregard for parents’ authority are explained away as a result of a child’s immaturity, a stage, or a diagnosis like Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Failure to respond to kids’ tests of your authority, for whatever reason, is a recipe for disaster. A child who isn’t disciplined feels unloved. I have had kids tell me this word for word. A child who isn’t disciplined will struggle in school, career, and relationships. Their risk of imprisonment is high, and their life expectancy is low. God commands us to discipline children for a good reason.
Choosing the wrong discipline plan is ineffective too. There are parents who have no discipline plan because they don’t understand the importance of discipline. However, there are parents who do understand the need to discipline. They adopt a plan they read in a book or hear about from someone else. But it doesn’t work. So they typically flail around trying to find a plan that will work.
I was firmly in this second camp. I did discipline my kids, but I was constantly trying plans that weren’t a good fit for me and my family. I would create a chart of consequences that I really didn’t agree with and truth be told, knew I wouldn’t implement. So I felt like a failure and my kids knew they could get away with misbehavior, as long as it wasn’t disrespect.
My discipline plan now is to tell my child that I will get back to them with the consequence. At times, I know what I want to do. I will fine them, take away a privilege, or make them work for me to pay me back for the time they’ve cost me. But when I don’t know, I no longer have the anxiety of wondering what the right consequence is. I can calm down, pray about it, discuss it with my husband, and give the consequence. I have older children and infractions aren’t commonplace.
If you have young children, decide how you’re going to discipline the common issues now. Come to agreement with your spouse. One strategy I commonly recommend is from Dr. Kevin Lehman’s Have a New Kid by Friday. If your child misbehaves, the next time he or she wants something, the answer is no. It works.
Develop a discipline plan or you risk losing your temper. If you struggle with anger in your parenting, listen to the podcasts I did on this topic.
Parenting Trap #2: Excusing a child from discipline for special circumstances
The second trap is related to the first. It’s deciding to give a child a pass on discipline because of special circumstances. Perhaps your child has special needs, has had an illness, or has had parents divorce. The effect of having no discipline is much more of a handicap than any physical, emotional, or social struggle your child may have. The story of Helen Keller is an excellent example.
I feel sorrier for children who aren’t disciplined than those who have some type of disability. If you have more than one child and you aren’t sure if you are neglecting discipline with one of them, ask your other children. They’re likely to tell you that you aren’t correcting misbehavior when you should be. Discipline does not mean being angry, harsh, or unkind. It means correcting and training in appropriate behavior. Even children with developmental disabilities can be trained to respect others and the rules you have in your family.
Parenting Trap #3: Not requiring chores
The third parenting trap that will limit your homeschool success is not requiring your kids to do chores. I have had parents be amazed by my kids’ chore chart or ask me how to make kids do chores.
Chores give kids self-esteem, important life skills, and teach discipline. If you don’t expect your children to do age-appropriate chores, you are denying them an important learning opportunity.
I’m often asked how to get young children to pick up toys. First, give kids a warning of when you’ll clean up. Even better, make picking up a part of your routine. Routines get much less flack than unexpected clean-ups.You may want to use music to motivate. And most importantly, have a happy, energetic attitude about doing chores. I often used my hand to guide little ones in picking up until they got into the spirit.
With older kids, I have found that changing the way we do chores regularly keeps the kids motivated. Just about any approach can work for a while.
Parenting Trap #4: No screen-time limits
Parenting trap #4 that can interfere with homeschool success is not having limits on screen time. I am not going to prescribe what those boundaries are, but if you allow screen time when chores aren’t complete and school work isn’t done, you’re going to have problems. If screen time keeps your kids up late so they’re too tired to do anything else, you’re going to have a problem with that too.
Decide on a policy that works for your family. We have had a lot of policies over the years. We only allowed gaming on weekends. We only allowed gaming on special occasions. We have had time limits and schedules. The best policy for us has been no screen time until other responsibilities are complete. We have only instituted limits at night for our older teens when a problem occurs. If you are interested in alternatives to video games for your kids, listen to the podcast episode I did on that topic.
Parenting Trap #5: Not inspecting what you expect
The 5th parenting trap that can interfere with homeschooling success is not inspecting what you expect. If you decide to make screen time contingent on doing chores, you are avoiding three parenting traps I’ve discussed. Yay you! But if you don’t make sure the chores are actually done before you agree to screen time, you’re likely to be disappointed and even angry. The fact is, our nature is to see what we can get away with. Kids will always test boundaries. If they can get away with not cleaning the bathroom and watching TV, they’ll do it. So, it’s up to us to monitor and check that the work is done. If we do this consistently, we’ll have disciplined kids and we’ll be happy too. I shared in a blog post how I failed to check my kids’ math homework for too long. Let’s just say I wasn’t happy. To help ensure homeschool success, inspect what you expect.
Parenting Trap #6: Not making your marriage a priority
Finally, a parenting trap you may not expect is not making your marriage a priority. When we focus on the kids, their activities, and their lessons, and we have nothing left to give to our spouse, our homeschool is at risk. The #1 reason we will have our homeschool records drug into court is because our spouse is suing us in a divorce.
Giving to your spouse is important to keep him happy. We don’t want him longing for the pre-homeschooling days when he got more of our attention. At the same time, investing in the marriage makes us happy too. The more I withdraw and focus on parenting and homeschooling alone, the worse I feel. Even though my husband doesn’t do the teaching, I rely on him as a colleague in this homeschooling journey. I feel better when we’re close, when I share struggles I’m having with particular kids or classes, and when my husband encourages me.
I hear from many homeschoolers who boo and hiss when date nights are mentioned. The money and help required make them difficult. I understand that. I never saw my parents date when I was a child. Instead, our entire family would go to another’s house to spend time or vice versa. It’s not the alone time we desire, but it allows for adult time. Alone time can be achieved by scheduling it into your day – early, late, or on weekends during naps. Or use screen time to occupy the kids so you can be alone. Listen to the episode I did with my husband on a healthy homeschooling marriage.
Conclusion
If you avoid these six parenting trips of not having a discipline plan, not disciplining a child with special needs, not requiring chores, not setting limits on screen time, not inspecting what you expect, and not making your marriage a priority, you are much more likely to have a successful homeschool year.
Which of these parenting traps has been an issue in your homeschool? Let me know in the comments or on Facebook.
Do you have kids who are motivated at the beginning of the year, only to become reluctant learners as the year goes on? If so, I want to show you how to motivate homeschool students all year long.
My experience as a psychologist and homeschooling mother of six leads me to highlight three keys to motivating homeschool students all year: discovering motivators, deprivation, and consistent rewards.
The first key to motivating homeschool tudents is to discover what motivates them.
We know some motivators instinctively, but sometimes it seems like nothing motivates our kids. Here’s how to narrow it down.
First, what does your child ask for? Is there a snack, an acitivity, or a person your child wants to spend time with? My kids have always loved Pop-Tarts, screen time, and having neighbor friends over. Instant motivators.
What does your child spend time doing? My kids love to read books in a series, jump on the trampoline, and watch YouTube videos.
That gives me another list of motivators. You should have a list too. But you may be doubting whether or not your list of rewards will really motivate your kids to do what you want. And you should doubt if you are not using motivational key number 2.
The second key to motivating homeschool students is to deprive them of the motivator.
I worked with rats in a lab as a psychology student. I was able to easily teach a nonverbal rodent how to play basketball, swing on a trapeze, and pull a light switch on. How did I do it? With food pellets. But that’s not all.
Rats will do nothing for food pellets if they’re full. Absolutely nothing. Most of our kids are effectively fat rats. They have access to loads of snacks they love. They have plenty of toys, games, and diversions to keep them happy. They may even have more money than they know what to do with. So, no wonder they aren’t motivated to work for more.
If we want motivated kids, we need to deprive them of these rewards to a certain extent. Rats in a lab are starved to 75% of their body weight. Don’t worry! We aren’t going to deprive our kids by not giving them enough to eat. That’s abuse! But we can and should deprive them of some of the rewards they enjoy. Let me give you an example.
I used to take my kids to sports events and would buy them a snack they wanted. But then I deprived them of this privilege by telling them they had to pay for these with their own money. Suddenly, money became important. They were motivated to earn more to get the snacks they wanted. In the same way, having a free-for-all screen time policy wouldn’t motivate kids to work for more.
A failure to deprive kids of a potential reward is why parents often struggle to motivate their kids. Deprivation is also introduced when we refuse to give the reward without the desired behavior. If my rat didn’t pull the light switch, he got no food pellet. If I had given the food pellet anyway, my rat wouldn’t have learned.
The third key to motivating homeschool students is to consistently reward them.
When you have a reward and you deprive your child of the reward at least somewhat, you have her ready to be consistently rewarded. When I stopped giving my rat food pellets for pulling a light switch, he stopped pulling it. He really should have been willing to do it for me for nothing, but he was an ungrateful rat. No, he was a normal creature who is motivated by consistent reinforcement.
A big mistake we make in motivating our kids’ behavior is not rewarding the correct behavior immediately. We’re on the phone, in the middle of something, or just tired and we don’t give our child the promised treat. I was bad about this with sleepovers. Sleepovers were a motivator for my kids but not for me. I would put off having a sleepover, even though my child had earned it. I lost the motivating power of that reward as a result.
When you are first training a child’s desired behavior – finishing math, cleaning a room, speaking respectfully, you must deliver the reward quickly and consistently. After your child has learned the behavior to the point that it is a habit, you can delay or even miss a reward and not lose the positive behavior. Your daughter learns to like having a tidy room. Your son realizes it’s easier to get his math done early. Your child trusts you to deliver the reward, even if you’re delayed in doing it.
Troubleshooting the Motivation of Homeschool Students
The three keys I just described work with rats and they work with kids too. Let’s troubleshoot a bit though.
Some parents tell me that a reward works for a while and then their kids don’t care about it. If that’s you, your child may be satisfied with the reward. Make sure there’s enough deprivation. If your child has earned 40 hours of game time, there’s no motivation to earn more. But a second reason may be that what your child really likes is variety and surprise. In that case, make the reward variable. Create a reward jar your child can draw from with slips of paper where you’ve written a variety of rewards. You can accomplish the same thing by using an app. I use the Random app on my iPhone.
Next, you will have a challenge if you reward your child without making sure the behavior was performed correctly. Make the time to verify the work has been done or your child will lack motivation.
Some motivational efforts break down in the deprivation phase. My rat wasn’t able to complain about being deprived of food. But kids can complain. Don’t allow whining, complaining, or fits to get you to deliver a reward without the expected behavior. In fact, the complaining is evidence that you’re using the right reward.
Conclusion
Use these three keys of finding what motivates your kids, depriving them of the motivator, and consistently rewarding good behavior and your kids can stay motivated all year. Which of these three keys has been the most challenging for you in motivating your student? Comment below.
Back-to-Homeschool Mistake #1: Not Purchasing Materials Ahead of Time
The first mistake veterans don’t make is not purchasing materials ahead of time. Few things can make back-to-school more stressful than having no idea of the tools you’ll be using. Veterans know to start the research process early and to take advantage of discount pricing many vendors offer. Securing your materials early allows you to do some critical planning for the year ahead. While I don’t recommend planning your entire school year lesson my lesson, I do recommend that you review your materials so you can plan your students’ time accordingly.
You’ll want to make sure you not only purchase curriculum but any supplies you need. Now is the time to buy school, art, and science supplies so you’re not missing sales or having to pay for expedited shipping.
If you haven’t begun the process of choosing curriculum, don’t worry. I have guides that well help you choose the best science, language arts, and math curriculum for your family.
Back-to-Homeschool Mistake #2: Not Having Your School Space Prepared
The second mistake you don’t want to make is to not have your school space prepared. If your children don’t know where to look for their daily schedule, their individual books, or their materials, you’re going to be stressed because your kids will be stressed.
Your primary school storage space does not have to be IKEA beautiful. But it does have to be user-friendly. Make sure your children can remove books from the bookshelves and colored pencils from their container without creating a mess. Make sure that even the laziest child or teacher can replace materials easily. My kids’ books don’t look as neat piled on shelves as they would in bins, but my kids are more likely to put them back on the shelf.
If the thought of organizing your school space sends you into a panic, commit to spending just five minutes a day there until it’s ready. I promise you that you will make progress even at this rate. Begin by removing things that don’t belong because you aren’t using them. Don’t worry about selling or even donating at this point. Just put them out of sight for now. Remove everything from one bookshelf or cubby at a time and clean it. You will do better if you replace things without purchasing containers to begin. I had a mountain of plastic containers at one time. You definitely want to see what you have before purchasing new organizing supplies.
Back-to-Homeschool Mistake #3: Not Making Back-to-School Special
Normal kids resist back-to-school. Even though they’re likely bored with a vacation routine, they will complain about having to do traditional studies.
Whenever we have to do hard things, a great strategy for motivating kids is to look for a way to make it fun. Back-to-school is a fantastic opportunity to model this. I have surprised my kids on the first day of school for many years now. The anticipation of the surprise tends to block out any negativity. Believe me, it will reemerge later, but my back-to-school surprises get us off to a great start.
Some ideas for you to consider are a special meal, a field trip, and games. Some moms like to make a special breakfast treat just for back-to-school. It might be pancakes in a special shape or cinnamon rolls that take forever to bake but are so delicious. You might consider taking the kids out for breakfast. I took mine to Waffle House and they loved it.
Another idea for a back-to-school surprise is to not do school at all. One year I surprised the kids by taking them to a local theme park that was still open. That is one of our favorite memories. If you’d like to make this idea more educational, consider taking the kids to a park as I did one year. We took out paddle boats and got some exercise after enjoying a picnic lunch.
Still another idea is to make back-to-school special with friends. Plan your back-to-school with another homeschooling mom. You could have a whole day of fun activities like an egg toss or water balloon fight. This is a great idea if your local support group does not offer a back-to-school party like mine does.
Finally, you could give your kids new school supplies in a fun way. Send them on a scavenger hunt to find them.
New homeschoolers are often most concerned with curriculum and forget that they will have to plan lunches for their kids. And when you’re caught up in the school day, dinnertime arrives quickly. No matter how wonderful your school day was, dinner chaos has the capacity to end your day on a sour note.
Pretend that you are going to have a new baby even if you aren’t. Homeschooling is your new baby. You will be teaching your children full-time. Spend some time making plans with shopping lists for quick, popular meals. In your meal planning, make sure you include meals the kids can help you make. If your child can operate a can opener, he or she can make chicken tortilla soup for the family.
1 (10 ounce) candiced tomatoes with green chile peppers drained
1 bagtortilla chips
1 bagshredded cheddar cheese
1 containerlight sour cream
Directions
Open the cans of corn, chicken broth, chunk chicken, black beans, and diced tomatoes with green chilies. Pour everything into a large saucepan or stock pot. Simmer over medium heat until chicken is heated through.
Amount Per Serving (6)
Calories: 214
Protein: 17.2g
Sugar: 2.7g
Carbohydrate: 27.2g
Fat: 4.9g
Cholesterol: 32mg
Sodium: 1482mg
Fiber: 6.7g
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If you’d like to make cooking a part of your homeschooling this year, consider the excellent Kids Cook Real Foods curriculum.
If you’d like to take meal planning a step further, get some meals put into the freezer. The easiest way to freezer cook is to make multiples of meals you’re already preparing for your family.
Back-to-Homeschool Mistake #5: Having Unreasonable Expectations for the School Year
If you are a newer homeschooler or just more of a dreamer, it’s easy to have high expectations for the coming school year. A child’s newly discovered special need, the toll of seasonal affective disorder, or the flu bug that hit hard last year are long forgotten. They won’t be an issue; you’re sure of it!
To some extent our idealism serves a good purpose. It gets us back in the saddle and homeschooling again. But in another sense, our overly optimistic expectations set us up for discouragement. I’m certainly not advising you to consider everything that can go wrong. It’s important that we have a positive outlook on what we and our children can accomplish in the Lord’s strength.
But this year, let’s be sure that our goals and expectations can be met. What would a normal, somewhat lazy teacher and students be able to do given your commitments and lifestyle? If you have a learning center on Monday and you’ve never been able to get school started up again when you’re back home, don’t plan to do school at home on those days. I know, it’s heresy. I would much rather have you be disappointed in having lower expectations now than disappointed by having your unreasonable expectations unmet later. Plan to do less so you are more likely to achieve your goals. It’s better to do more than you planned than less. Make your homeschool plan easy for your kids and watch their motivation soar.
In addition to keeping our expectations in check by having reasonable goals, each week of your homeschool, consider any obstacles that will stand in the way of you getting things done. I prompt homeschooling moms to consider this in the Organized Homeschool Life Planner. I ask them to not only consider what may get in the way during the upcoming week but how they will overcome that obstacle. For example, if you’re going on vacation this fall, plan for how to transition the kids back to a regular school routine. It won’t happen automatically.
Back-to-Homeschool Mistake #6: No Plan to Keep the Momentum Going
We homeschooling teachers tend to be pretty good at planning those first days or weeks of school. We have our curriculum, space, meals, and reasonable goals in place if you’ve been following along. Now we have to have a plan for keeping our homeschools running smoothly.
You need a chore plan. Any chore plan will work, but you need a way of making sure that your kids are helping you maintain your home. Public school kids have to clean up too. In a previous episode of The Homeschool Sanity Show on organizing, FLYLady gave us wise advice for cleaning up after every subject. Make that habit a part of your day in addition to assigning regular responsibilities.
Even when you assign chores and clean up as you go, you still need a plan for maintaining your home and life. Without one, there are things you’ll never get to that can make your homeschooling a lot less enjoyable. You may have clutter hotspots, upcoming holidays to plan for, or finances that need attention. Without a plan for when and how you will address these other areas, you can quickly find yourself overwhelmed. Take the time to create a plan for giving these other crucial areas attention or use the plan I’ve developed. Check out The Organized Homeschool Life book and Planner.
Conclusion
If you avoid these six back-to-school mistakes, you are well on your way having a peaceful and blessed back to homeschool. Have your curriculum, school space, special back-to-school surprise, meal plan, reasonable goals, and maintenance plans ready. That is my prayer for you.
I’m facing a number of transitions in my homeschool this year. My oldest son has graduated from college and is living at home while working his first career position. Deciding what his responsibilities will be and adjusting to his schedule is a transition. My third son graduated from high school and will be leaving home for college in August. I am losing my experienced drivers! My 16-year-old will be driving and attending community college for dual enrollment classes for the first time. He is also working his first job. My daughter will begin high school courses in the fall. And my youngest will be a true junior high student as he will begin seventh grade work. I have more transitions I could tell you about, but that’s enough to get us started on this topic.
“I needed to let go of some homeschool materials.”
I have three kids whose records I no longer need to keep.My college-age son was studying for the LSAT and decided he did not want to go to law school. Those materials can go too. My younger kids’ books can move to different bookshelves.
I came across many books I hoped to use in my homeschool but didn’t. I realized that many of our science materials could be sold or given away because I won’t be teaching some labs at home in the future. I moved favorite children’s picture books from one storage location to another and found myself reminiscing about the days when I enjoyed reading them to my children. As a side note, I’m keeping them for my grandchildren. Lest you think I’m hoarding irresponsibly, these books fit on a single bookshelf.
I’m not going to lie. I was feeling sad. I was tempted to boo-hoo all over my schoolroom. But then I realized I needed to approach the transitions I’m facing in a different way. My focus on the past was making transitions difficult for me.I thought about all the things we’ve done before and told myself that homeschooling would never be that good again.Can you relate? It really doesn’t matter what kind of transition we’re making. If we focus on the past and tell ourselves that the past will always be better than the future, we will have a difficult time making a transition.
The second thing I did, that was causing me grief making transitions, was to focus on my failings. I thought about the curriculum I shouldn’t have purchased. I thought about the books I should have used. And I thought about the time I mismanaged. I was angry at myself and discouraged at the thought of going forward. I was stuck thinking only about what I hadn’t done to meet some high standard.
How to Make Homeschool Transitions Smooth
To make smooth transitions, whatever they are, stop focusing on the past and look to the future. I adored having little ones. I loved babyhood, some aspects of toddlerhood, the preschool years, and the elementary years. But the middle, high school, and adult years have blessed my socks off too. I love the people my children are and are becoming. I tell my kids it’s like the preschool them visited for a while and now they’re gone. I do miss them, but this young adult person who has taken up residence in my life is every bit as much a joy. I’m looking forward to seeing my oldest grow in his career. I’m looking forward to having two of my boys at the same college and watching my new freshman enjoy college life for the first time. I am excited to see my 16-year-old develop maturity by working and taking college classes on his own. I am looking forward to seeing my youngest two kids develop their own independence. I’m looking forward to coaching them in their education more than teaching them.
Focusing on the future positives of my transitions steered me away from tears and toward joy. Right now, consider what you have to look forward to with the changes in your life.
The next thing I did to cope with my transitions was to focus on what I have accomplished, rather than what I haven’t. I realized that I have successfully brought three of my children through their K-12 years. They are great kids. Not once have they come to me and demanded to know why I haven’t used certain curriculum, taught a certain class, or kept a particular homeschool schedule. They are happy and doing well in their studies and work. Even if you feel you’ve been a failure you will be able to think of many ways you have succeeded. To make a smooth transition, stop focusing all of your attention on your weaknesses and begin focusing on your strengths. My weakness is trying to do too many things and then dropping some of them. I’m not going to worry about that going forward. Instead, I’m going to focus on my strengths, which is choosing and teaching important and fun lessons to teach my kids.
Thinking about my strengths helps me feel positive about this upcoming school year. Right now, consider your strengths and how to make the most of them in your homeschool.
If you want to transition well this year, I have another suggestion for you. That is to trust God. I remember another transition I faced years ago. Would I put my oldest child into preschool? That is what I wanted to do. I wanted to have time to parent my toddler and baby and get my act together at home. I was sure if I put my kids in school that I would have the time to write and speak as I believed God was calling me to do. God had another plan. I did not see how it would work, but it obviously has. Homeschooling grew to be the work that met my deepest needs. I grew closer to my children, I got to teach, which unbeknownst to me is what I was made to do. And it led me to doing writing and speaking that have blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. When I consider that I didn’t want to homeschool, I feel like a fool. I should have trusted God. He loves me and He doesn’t want to harm me. He has a plan and a purpose for my life that is good. It is the same for you.
Thinking about God’s faithfulness to me through the years helps me to feel better about the transitions I’m facing. Right now, prayerfully commit yourself to trusting God with your transitions.
Conclusion
If you focus on the future, focus on your strengths as a homeschool mom, and focus on God’s faithfulness, you can make transitions in your homeschool be much smoother. As you work through the transitions, remember that your children are watching. Your kids are also facing transitions. Will we model for them how to focus on the future, focus on our strenghts, and focus on God? Our kids’ current transitions are just one step in their journey. They will face many transitions ahead, some of them a lot more challenging. Let’s show them how it’s done.
Comment and let me know what transitions you’re facing this year.
Do you have worries that keep you from homeshooling? If so, you’ll want to listen to the first part of this article. Once you do, you’re ready to read worries 6-10.
That’s a real worry. If your kids won’t obey you, you’re in trouble. You won’t be able to get them to do schoolwork, chores, or the things that will keep them safe and healthy. So how can you homeschool if your kids won’t listen to you? If that’s your worry, homeschooling isn’t the issue. If you send the kids to school and they won’t obey you, how will you get them to do schoolwork, chores, or the things that will keep them safe and healthy?
At one time, school teachers were able to discipline students. That’s no longer the case. Teachers’ hands are often tied in even depriving students of privileges. If there are no consequences in the home either, kids may continue to be defiant and suffer the results of an undisciplined life. If you don’t discipline your child, no one else will.
If you worry that your kids won’t listen to you, you should worry! But only if you aren’t willing to change that immediately. Require obedience. If your kids openly refuse to do homework or chores, remove a privilege that matters. In the article I wrote on the top question parents ask me, I give you some ideas. But just to repeat, wait until your child asks for something — a snack, game time, a visit with a friend. The answer then is no. When your child asks why, explain that they didn’t obey. Let them pitch the biggest fit, but the answer is still no. You can switch the order for kids who aren’t openly defiant and refuse to grant privileges until the schoolwork or chore is done. Stop worrying that your kids won’t listen to you and start making discipine a key part of your homeschool today.
#7 My kids will be unhappy being homeschooled and will want to go to school
Let’s first discuss the worry that our children will be unhappy being homeschooled. I had this worry for years and it was completely unnecessary. Here’s why:
It’s normal for kids to be unhappy doing school. It’s normal like it is for adults to be unhappy going to work. Work is work! But kids and adults alike are unhappy in their free time too. We get bored doing the same things. It’s not as exciting as we would like it to be. But for some reason as homeschool moms we think our kids have to be Disney-World happy in their education all the time or we’re failing. Wrong.
My kids, like kids who go to public or private school, don’t like some aspects of school. They complain. They try to put it off. That makes them normal. It doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong. In fact, it means I’m doing something right. I am disciplining them in the habit of learning and studying. This is not to say that I don’t think learning should be fun. That’s a soap box for me and why I created Grammar Galaxy the way that I did. But discipline must accompany fun in a child’s education. Don’t worry if your child doesn’t like homeschooling. Ask children who go to traditional school if they like it. Most of them will look at you like you’re crazy and say no. You don’t have to frantically pursue fun classes and curriculum in an effort to make kids happy in their homeschooling. Most likely it won’t work anyway.
But what if the unhappiness gets so bad that your child wants to go to school? Listen to the podcast episode I did on this situation. I lived through my child wanting to go to school and actually attending public high school. I wrote about the unexpected positive results from that experience and interviewed my son for the podcast as well. He just graduated from college, by the way, and is starting his career in sales. We are so proud of him! My son’s desire to go to school was not because I failed in homeschooling him. In fact, he has said that he loved being homeschooled. It served him well until he needed the opportunities available to him in high school. None of my fears about him going to school were founded. That experience was one of my sons attending one school and I can’t generalize my experience to you. However, worry doesn’t serve any good purpose.
So my daughter, who will be a high school freshman, told me she was wanting to go to school. I dropped her off to shadow for the day and I wasn’t worried. I had had a good experience with the school with her brother. But I was sad. So much so that I prayed for peace. God gave that to me immediately. I felt at peace when my daughter said she had made the decision to start high school there in the fall. A few weeks ago, though, she told me she had changed her mind and wanted to continue homeschooling. I immediately realized what a waste my anxiety and upset would have been. No wonder the Lord immediately gave me peace. Stop worrying about your child being unhappy and start homeschooling.
#8 Your kids won’t have enough friends as homeschoolers
I have to admit that I’ve worried about this a lot. At the beginning of my homechool journey, all my homeschooling friends had girls and only girls while I had boys. I worried that they would have no male friends. Years later my homeschooling friends all had boys and there were few girls for my daughter to be friends with. I worried that we wouldn’t know where to make friends. Then a P.E. class led to friendships that led to a co-op in my home. Then those kids graduated, moved, or quit homeschooling, and I worried that my younger kids would have no friends. And I haven’t been alone in this worrying. My husband is an extreme extrovert and worries when the kids don’t have as many homeschooled friends as he thinks they should. He has wondered if the kids would be better off in school.
If you share this worry, let me share some things to reassure you. God knows our kids need friends. He promises to meet all their needs. If He is calling you to homeschool, He will provide your children with friends. These are some of the ways God has provided friends for my children: new neighbors with kids, Sunday school, youth group, sports, homeschool classes, reaching out to our local homeschool group, online friendships with my friends’ kids, and jobs.
If you’re saying BUT right now, I get it. I’ve been in a place where my kids hadn’t made friends in these ways, or more specifically what I considered to be enough friends. I’ve had the opportunity to see my adult introverted son’s friendships develop. Until he was a teen, he had very few friends of his own. Most of them were his brothers’ friends. Now that he is in college, I am amazed by the number of friends he has. What’s interesting is that he never once complained about having too few friends. Nor was he affected negatively because he didn’t have dozens of friends as a kid. If your child has a close friend or two and is happy, you do not have anything to worry about.
If your child wants more friends, I recommend praying together first. Then look for them in one of the ways I mentioned previously. Be patient. Friendships take time to develop. Stop worrying about your child’s friendships and start homeschooling.
#9 Your finances may not allow you to homeschool in the future
Worrying about what-ifs robs us of joy and opportunities now. Early in our marriage, my husband’s fellow sales reps told him that the company he worked for was on the verge of being sold, meaning he would be out of a job. We worried about it. If that happened, we worried about paying our mortgage and me not working. We worried about it for 15 years when the prediction finally came to fruition. The company was sold and my husband was out of a job. But within a week, he had another job that was far better than the one he’d worried about keeping all those years.
This is not to say that we won’t have a time that we have to work and homeschool or even give up our homeschooling because of finances. But worrying about it now will make homeschooling miserable. I know many homeschooling moms who have homeschooled their children on a modest, single income. They didn’t have all the luxuries we are told are musts, but they had the precious experience of teaching their children at home. Homeschooling can be very inexpensive and it is possible to earn an income while you teach. So stop worrying about finances and start homeschooling.
#10 Homeschool haters
The final worry I’ll discuss is about homeschool haters. I did a podcast episode on handling them that I recommend to you. If we worry about people who aren’t supportive of our homeschooling, we give them power. They feel emboldened to continue attacking our choice. Protect yourself legally. I recommend joining HSLDA. Follow your state’s law to the letter. Then kindly set boundaries with people who attempt to interfere with your family’s choice to homeschool.
If you persist in attempting to win a hater over, you’ll likely continue to worry. I have heard from my listeners about family members who continue to hate on homeschooling even after their children have graduated and are successful in a career. If our happiness in homeschooling depends on pleasing anyone else, our happiness won’t last for long. Appeal to the Lord for protection from those who would give you grief. Then stop worrying about homeschool haters and start homeschooling.
Conclusion
No good comes from worrying. Use the time and energy you are spending on worrying to get on with the business of homeschooling! If you need help with worry in general, listen to the podcast episode called Help for Anxious Homeschoolers.
Which of these five worries has been the biggest problem for you? Comment and let me know.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
