This week I tested whether Scott Young’s idea of writing to solve personal problems would help me get things done. I intended just to write about them, but ended up working on and answering a series of guided questions instead. I don’t yet have this approach finalized, but when I do, I will share it with my Facebook fans and subscribers. Scroll to the end of last week’s post for details.
How a Problem Solving Approach Saved My Sanity This Week
Gave me perspective . One of the problems I’ve been having concerns the kids’ chores. Writing the answers to questions about this problem reminded me of my purpose: to teach my children. If they aren’t doing a good job cleaning, it isn’t because they’d like to drive me nuts, but because they need to be taught. I found my stress level was reduced after writing, which in turn enabled me to focus on my work.
Helped me make tough choices. Another problem I wrote about concerned my membership in a paper scrapbooking club. I love these monthly kits, but I’m not keeping up with them. I’m sad about that, but writing helped me realize that right now, ending my membership is the right decision.
Advice sparked my creativity. With the kids’ cleaning issue, I decided to get advice by searching online. One of the things I read resonated with me: kids desire novelty when it comes to chores. Lately my kids have complained that they have to do X chore too often, even though they’re rotated. That gave me the idea to create a system for randomly assigning chores that the kids are liking. I’ll be sharing a template with subscribers for this as well.
How a Problem Solving Approach Made Me Crazy This Week
Takes time. I found I kept putting the writing off. When I started, I realized why. Problem solving takes time. Even though it can save time in the long run, it can feel impossible to step back from it all long enough to find solutions. Once I started the process, I became so engrossed in it that I missed my dentist appointment (even after getting my iPhone reminder!). I then found myself reluctant to return to it because it was a time suck.
Can be a little scary. I know one of my issues was a minor one, but I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t have time for the monthly scrapbooking kits I’m receiving. If you have bigger issues to address, I can see where it could be threatening.
Can be overwhelming. In my clinical practice, I would have people do a brain dump of all their worries and it was quite effective. But I discovered if you’re going to truly problem solve, addressing multiple problems is too much. After this week, I think writing down every problem can be cathartic, but really tackling more than one is ineffective. I did discover that many issues could be grouped into one, however.
Did Problem Solving Help Me Get More Done?
Yes, but peace of mind is the most important benefit I noted. I would need a longer test period to determine effectiveness of the solutions I’m testing. While asking people for advice has been very useful to me in the past, I’ve learned that the internet is chock full of advice if you’re short on time.
**UPDATE**
I still use a problem solving approach, but I still need reminders to do so. It’s so easy to just keep flailing around, trying different things or submitting to hopelessness.
The Productivity Approach I’ll Be Using for Week 42
This week I’ll be testing Inbox Zero. The new approach I’m using to control email is Sanebox which will limit the number of emails that are in my inbox, while providing me a reminder to read the rest.
The concept. Prior to reading Getting Things Done for the first time, I was drowning in thousands of emails. I was constantly forgetting to reply to important email because it was mixed in among all the sales mail and Yahoo group emails (remember those?). I was spending gobs of time processing them, too. David Allen helped me realize that I had to get email out of my inbox into folders based on whether I needed to take action or was waiting on information, for example.
Since then, I’ve reduced my email significantly with a number of different approaches I’ve tried: Goodtodo, Active Inbox, IQTell, and most recently ToDoist (with their Gmail extension). Using Gmail, I’ve also been careful to unsubscribe from unnecessary email. I do not use Gmail’s new tabs for sorting email because I already have so many filters set up. But that’s the problem. I can’t keep up with the new senders. Either the unsub option doesn’t work or the sender cleverly changes the “send from” email to bypass my filters. The result is I spend way more time than I should managing my email.
There are other options for automatically filtering email, but I like that Sanebox will send me an email reminding me to review my filtered emails. For me, out of sight is out of mind. Once I filter something, I don’t look at it again, which isn’t good when an important email gets filtered. Sanebox is supposed to get “smarter” by remembering which emails you move from the inbox to “Later” and vice versa.
If you’d like to join me this week, here’s what you do. Decide on a method for managing your email. If you want inspiration for achieving Inbox Zero, read this. If you want some options for achieving it, read this Mashable post. Of course, feel free to try Sanebox, too. It offers a free trial which is what I will be using.
No matter what the retailers would have us believe, it’s not Christmas yet! We still have plenty of time to use Thanksgiving as an opportunity to teach our children. But it is true that Christmas is coming. I have some great resources for helping you and your children get ready for a blessed celebration.
Just because we need some time off, doesn’t mean the learning has to stop. Make some of these cute crafts with the kids and you can share them with family.
Beauty and Bedlam shares these beautiful crafts for your own table or for giving as gifts to the hostess. Don’t miss the gratitude rolls tradition linked at the bottom of the post. I can’t wait to try this with my kids.
The holidays are the perfect time for teaching table manners. I love this post from Ask Andy About Clothes because it explains the history behind table etiquette.
This is such a great idea. I purchased these mini takeout boxes from Amazon and will have the kids help me decorate them. I will hang them from the garland in our entryway and will be using them for our Christmas bucket list. I’d like to combine a surprise with Scripture. When I come up with a plan, I will make it available to subscribers to Psychowith6.
I don’t normally include links to resources that aren’t free, but I’m excited enough about this, that I had to share (I’m not an affiliate). Audra Silva reviewed this unit study that can be done just once a week for four weeks (besides the reading). You learn the history of American Christmas traditions. The author includes a sample week on her website.
Be sure to follow What’s Hot in Homeschooling on Pinterest so you don’t miss any great holidays ideas.
Nine years ago I had the crazy idea that I could take my own family Christmas photo to send with our yearly Christmas card. My husband loved my first photo so much that he asked me to send them out as postcards to his customers–librarians. The response from friends, family, and librarians was so positive about not only the photo, but the short “letter” on the back of the postcards that the sending of the cards has become an annual event. People often tell me, “I can’t wait to see what your card will be this year!” It’s a lot of pressure, but honestly a lot of fun. I hope you get some creative inspiration you can use for taking your own family Christmas photos and will consider sending cards. I use Send Out Cards where I can have my postcards sent automatically to everyone on our list–a major time saver because we send over 300.
#1 The Imperfect Card
This was my first attempt at taking my own family Christmas photos for cards. People loved that my daughter is holding her shoe, that my little guy on the right is so happy and wiggly that he’s blurred, and that my Andy isn’t smiling on the left. On the back of the card, I listed the top ten comments we receive and our responses: 10. Are these all yours? (Yes, we collect them)9. They all look alike (We used a home cloning kit)8. What are their ages? (8, 6, 4, 2, and 11 months)7. You finally got your girl. (No, it’s another boy. We just put bows in his hair.)6. That girl doesn’t have a chance with all those brothers. (No chance to play alone!)5. You must have the patience of a saint. (We’re just tired. If that’s patience, ok.)4. Your kids are so well behaved. (Great! Can they come play at your house?)3. I don’t know how you do it. (We’re glad. You probably wouldn’t approve.)2. Are you done? (Would you believe us if we said yes?)1. You really have your hands full (Yes, and our hearts, too).
#2 The Un-Christmas Card
What they didn’t know is what I had to go through to get this level of photo imperfection. While I didn’t send it out, I had fun doctoring up one of the shots for an Un-Christmas Card below.
#3 The Nativity Card
By far the fan favorite, this photo was taken just 11 days after our youngest was born. A friend gave me the idea. We used the shelter that a nursing home hadn’t finished setting up for their Nativity scene yet. On the back of the card, I used cast notes to describe what was going on in each child’s life.
#4 The Spell it Out Card
I bought matching pajamas for everyone and had everyone but the baby holding a wooden letter. I used a photo editing program to add the exclamation point and the word, Christmas. On the back of the card, I used M E R R Y ! as an acronym to describe the family news of the year.
#5 The Old-Fashioned Christmas Card
We had this taken while we were on vacation one summer. What you don’t know is that the baby was coming unglued during this process because he hadn’t had a nap!
#6 Family Portrait Card
We had our family picture taken professionally by Cindy’s Photo. I put a gold frame around this picture for the card and noted what everyone’s “profession” was on the back.
#7 The Family Tree Card
I had everyone dress in green and we tried to make it work with real Christmas lights, but I ended up editing the photo digitally to make it work. I shared the new things we “branched into” in 2009.
#8 The Real Life Card
This was a favorite of many. I took the picture on a fall hike without planning ahead at all. On the back of the card, I shared “real life” challenges we were having. The Scripture shares that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
#9 The Peace on Earth Card
I used red duct tape for each of the kids. The reflection from the flash was a bit of a problem, but it was a hit. I had people using the idea, which is just fine, because I got the idea from someone else! On the back of the card, I shared what each kid says all the time.
#10 The Brady Bunch Card
This was last year’s Christmas photo. I took everyone’s picture against a green backdrop. The family news on the back of the card was to be sung to the Brady Bunch tune.
Bonus #11 The TIME Card
On the back of this card I wrote how each family member spent his/her time. The photo is also by Cindy’s Photo.
Want to see this year’s card? Like the page on Facebook and you will!
I’ve been buying gifts for my now six children (five boys and one girl) for 16 years and I’ve had the opportunity to see which gifts last. Not only have I been able to determine which gifts my kids remember, use, and love, but I’ve also had the chance to see which gifts are popular with their siblings and friends. I hope this list blesses you as you plan and shop for your children and grandchildren for Christmas and other gift-giving occasions.
No matter how expensive the other gifts my kids have received are, they’ve never failed to enjoy punch balloons. Make sure you have extras for the popping that invariably occurs!
I personally hated the Rubik’s cube when I was a kid because I couldn’t solve it. My kids have loved it, but I suspect that has something to do with YouTube teaching them how to solve it!
Memory-Making Gifts
6. Experiences
My children have treasured the opportunity to see a play with a grandparent, to go out for lunch with an aunt, and going to the driving range with dad.
7. Scrapbook
The kids are not only excited to look through a scrapbook when they receive it, but take it out over and over again to reminisce. Shutterfly is a great website for making photobooks if you’d like to make a digital book. Look for discount codes this time of year.
8. Blanket
I saved my money to buy a satin comforter when I was in 6th grade. My aunt took that comforter and used it as the lining for this blanket she gave me as a high school graduation gift. It’s now a blanket my kids fight over. A homemade or personalized blanket makes a treasured gift.
I once donated a box of my old shoes to a missionary who took them to a remote part of Africa. She sent pictures of elated women wearing the shoes I had carelessly thrown in a box. I cried and cried. Giving children the opportunity to give a gift to someone in need is a memorable gift. Even more powerful is to allow a child to get to know how his gift makes a difference. Sponsoring a child through World Vision (this is my friend, Deb Wolf’s sponsorship page) will allow a kid you love to see the impact of her gift.
10.A Family Vacation
Our homeschooling schedule has allowed us to take vacations in early December, when rates are low. My children still talk about those trips, that were extra special because they were taken at Christmas time. If you can’t go in December, a trip scheduled later can take the place of other gifts that would quickly be forgotten.
Even when the electronic part of this toy quit working, my boys played and played with these. If they’re not familiar with Star Wars, any kind of play sword is likely to be a toy they’ll play with for years.
Girls love to carry their stuff around. The less character-specific the luggage, the more likely they’ll use it year after year. 13.Mr. Potato Head
A simple, well-built toy set that kids can’t seem to keep their hands off! It’s great to add some other pieces to this set to keep them playing. 14.Dinosaur Toys
My first son was crazy about dinosaurs and his brothers and any boy visitors to our house since then have spent hours playing with these “terrible lizards.” 15.Doll Umbrella Stroller
I’m not suggesting that these strollers will stand up to years of abuse, but they’re inexpensive and will be played with so much that you can afford to replace them. 16.Fisher Price GeoTrax Train Set
We’ve had a lot of train sets over the years, but for the money, this is my favorite. Very durable and EASY for kids to put together themselves.
While this isn’t the same model we bought years ago, it appears to have the same features that had dozens of kids playing with it for hours. I still have this play set and will probably keep it for my grandchildren.
Are you noticing a theme? Fisher Price play sets are durable and keep kids engaged for years. We just gave ours away and it’s in almost new condition. If you knew my daughter, you’d know that means this set is built to last! 19.American Girl Doll
If you’re like I was, you may be wondering if this pricey doll is worth it. All I can say is that we have gone through many, many dolls that have not captivated my daughter like her American Girl dolls. 20.Step 2 Lifestyle Deluxe Kitchen
Both boys and girls have played with this set for years and it’s in great shape. It’s been well worth it to spend more for a set that lasts (we still have it).
My kids have worn costumes even when they were too small, because they absolutely love them. Pajamas that double as costumes are another well-loved gift.
I’ve been through lots of Lego sets over the years, but this Duplo set outlasted them all. The bonus is they are easy to keep organized. 23.Marble Run
These things are so fun for kids to put together. You may want them to play on a blanket so you don’t miss any of the marbles! 24.Domino Race
Yes, the excitement of knocking down your dominoes lasts just a moment, but the great thing is that setting up the race can take them hours! 25.Zoobmobile Car Designer Kit
Little boys love building cars and this kit makes it easy for little hands to do just that. This set has been very popular with the boys at a P.E. class we attend. 26.Jumbo Blocks
We bought a set of these used and because they were on the expensive side, I wasn’t sure it was a good investment. Kids of all ages (yes, even teens) play with these, so my investment was a great one. The boys love to use them to create barriers for battles. I love these so much, I plan to keep them for future grandchildren.
I’ll admit it. I don’t love this game. But my kids always have. If you’re looking for a game for the younger set, you can’t go wrong with this one. You might have to hide a card or two to bring the game to a close, however. 28.Don’t Break the Ice
Another great game that even the littles can play. You have to have hand strength to put it back together, but the game is short. I’ve always appreciated that. 29.Connect Four
I remember playing this with my brother. While I was writing this post, I saw my younger two playing Connect Four. This game is definitely a winner. 30.Bingo
My kids play this Disney DVD Bingo game weekly. As I write, its price is exorbitant on Amazon. My kids have enjoyed many different Bingo games over the years, and I bet yours will be just as happy with an inexpensive set. 31.Jenga
Jenga was in a condo we rented for a few days and the kids played with it constantly. They continue to play Jenga frequently now that we own it. 32.Apples to Apples
I didn’t realize how popular this game was with my kids until I tried to take it to a women’s retreat with me. There was a revolt! It’s especially popular when the kids have friends over. 33.Chess, Checkers, Backgammon
The kids love playing these classic games with their dad and loved playing with their grandpa when he was alive. 34.Scrabble
Scrabble has worked well for us for all ages as long as we play in teams–and as long as we refuse to play with people who know all the 3-letter non-word words. You know what I mean. 35.Cribbage
You may not be familiar with cribbage, but I grew up playing the game with my dad, who was a cribbage master. It’s a wonderful game for encouraging conversation with your child and it even builds math skills!
I’ve come a long way from a mother who wasn’t going to let her sons play with toy guns to a mom whose boys have an entire arsenal of them. My teenagers will still play with these and when it’s time to declutter toys, these never go into the giveaway box. 37.Hula Hoop
Our homeschool support group has hula hoop contests throughout the year (with prizes). That has motivated my kids to be very skilled with this, but it’s motivated me, too! Buy one for your kids and you can use it to get a good workout in, too.
I’ve kept two of these in my basement for years and they are used, even when I don’t want them to be! There’s just something irresistible about them. 39.Twister
Another game I remember playing as a kid, Twister gets kids giggling, even if they don’t finish it.
My husband can juggle and now my teen is juggling, too. These balls have been great for keeping the kids busy when they’re restless, even when they’re not working on juggling per se.
Shuffleboard is a great game for kids of all ages. My family and the kids’ friends have all enjoyed this reasonably priced shuffleboard game. 42.Jump-O-Lene
We bought one of these inflatable trampolines for our basement when our oldest kids were little and they had a blast concocting fun new ways of jumping into it. My kids and their many friends were quite hard on the Jump-O-Lene and we had to replace it a couple of times. But it was worth it for the fun the kids got out of it. 43.Football
All of my boys love the sport of football. They’ve played flag football and haven’t met a football they didn’t like. They’re playing with the neighbor boys as I write. 44. Baseball Bases
The boys all enjoy playing baseball, too. All of the equipment has been used, but real bases make throwing a backyard game together with friends that much more fun. 45.Soccer Ball
My daughter enjoys soccer, but our soccer balls get used for many other games. 46.Basketball Hoop
My family isn’t big into basketball, but we’ve used our basketball hoop so much for quick games of HORSE and when we have parties, too. 47.Badminton Set
Badminton is a fantastic game to play as a family. We love it and the neighbor kids do, too. 48.Limbo Game
Our homeschool support group also has limbo contests throughout the year and my kids are crazy about it. Don’t tell them, but I think they may get a set of their own this Christmas! 49.Tennis Racquet
We’re a tennis family, but even if we weren’t, I’d recommend a racquet as a gift for kids. Many municipalities have free courts to practice on or you might consider a driveway tennis set. 50.Step 2 Roller Coaster
I wondered if I was wasting my money buying this toddler toy. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We kept this outside and it was played with by our kids until they were in late elementary school. It was a very popular attraction with guests and it stood up to tons of abuse. 51.Disc Golf Set
We are fortunate that we live near a park that has a disc golf course. It’s been a great family activity and one the teens like to do with their friends, too. No course nearby? You might want to try this Mini Disc Set to use at home.
My husband has always had a “no powered vehicles for the kids” policy. We’ve had the same inexpensive scooter for years and I just backed over it. Amazingly, the kids are still using it. 53.Step 2 Climber
I bought a model similar to this 15 years ago and kept it in our basement. I just asked my kids if I could get rid of it. They wouldn’t hear of it. This climber is just part of our castle it seems. 54.Seesaw
I bought a different model of this seesaw and kept it in the basement where it became a source of years of fun. Even though only two could ride at a time, friends and siblings had a blast spinning the riders as fast as they could go. 55.Ping Pong Table
I enjoy having a ping pong table for crafts, but I can rarely use it for that purpose, because our whole family loves ping pong. It’s been a great activity for our teens and their friends.
I was a little worried about injuries getting a trampoline, but we’ve been blessed to have only a few minor ones. This is another gift that has occupied dozens of kids of all ages and has been worth every penny.
Electronic & Music Gifts That Bring Families Together
My daughter purchased this and I figured it would end up in the junk pile. Boy, was I wrong! Most of my kids play it constantly and it’s the first thing teenage guests in our house pick up. A big winner for the price.
We had a CD-player karaoke machine for years and years and while the karaoke part was used a lot, the microphone was used even more. Someone might be getting this new version this year.
When it comes to listening to karaoke, playing games, or watching movies together, we needed more seating in our basement. I purchased this bean bag chair and it’s been a hit, but not for the reason I expected. The kids run and jump on it, have guests sleep on it, and do their homework on it. It’s stood up to abuse, too.
We bought a previous version of this movie projector and have gotten years’ worth of use out of it. We enjoy watching movies together outside using our garage door as a screen, projecting family video games on our basement wall so even Grandma can play, and projecting workout DVDs so we can all get fit together.
Whatever gifts you choose for the kids you love, I pray that you and your family will enjoy a very blessed Christmas! If you’d like more helpful resources, I invite you to get a copy of my free meal planning ebook and to follow me on Pinterest.
This week I tested whether Mark Forster’s concept of Little and Often could help me get more done. I used this concept in conjunction with Do it Tomorrow and Routines, deleting tasks more than 3 days past due.
How Little & Often Saved My Sanity This Week
Enabled me to finish projects I’d put off . I cleared my backlog of a project I’ve felt guilty about not doing for over a year. Where the Guilt Hour failed, Little and Often succeeded. There’s something about having to do the smallest thing to move a project forward that works like magic on my procrastination.
Prevented future overwhelm. I’m amazed by how many things I finished well ahead of time that normally came down to the wire. As I keep moving projects forward little by little, well before they are due, I know my stress level will remain low into the future.
Helped me establish new habits. I learned I was avoiding some of my routine tasks (especially in the evening), because I felt they had to be done completely or perfectly to count. This week, I gave myself a gold star on my HomeRoutines app if I did anything at all toward that task. The great thing is, of course, that once I started, I usually did more than one little thing. The big surprise for me is that all of these benefits made me feel better about my time usage and put me in a great mood.
How Little & Often Made Me Crazy This Week
Uncertainty about deleting tasks. I wasn’t completely sure how I would handle deleting (and reinstating) routine tasks when I hadn’t done them in 3 days. I didn’t know if I missed a daily chore if I had to spend three times as much time on it or if doing it once out of the three days counted. Not knowing made me anxious. I ended up failing to do any of the special chores I have assigned to Saturdays before they were more than three days overdue. I deleted them. But then I wondered what to do with them? I decided that as long as I have done a daily chore at least once within that 3 day overdue time frame, it can stay on my list. Special chores assigned to a certain day can be reassigned to the day you actually move them forward. This rule will apply to tasks deleted from my ToDoist list. If a task gets deleted, I can add it to tomorrow’s list if I do at least something on it today (which I will have to do just by remembering to do it). If I work on my deleted Saturday tasks on Sunday, I can add them to that days’ list. My rationale is that this will add tasks to the list on days when they are most likely to be done. Further, taking action should be rewarded by allowing a project to be added back to the list.
Can feel scattered. A little and often approach means I am juggling lots and lots of balls. Sometimes that felt a little scary. I kept waiting for something to fall. It didn’t. While I didn’t get to spend as much time focused on singular pursuits, for my lifestyle, this is a benefit. I don’t have just one hobby with a very defined job. Little and often in that situation could be quite crazy-making. But if that were my lifestyle, I wouldn’t be doing this series!
Did Little and Often Help Me Get More Done?
YES! Of all the approaches I’ve tested so far, this one has made the most significant impact on my productivity. What’s more, I love it. Applying little and often to my routine tasks has helped me get control of that aspect of my life, too. When I start to expect too much of myself, deleting tasks seems capable of keeping my life in balance. I get up every day excited to see what I need to do to move things forward and keep projects from the chopping block.
The Productivity Approach I’ll Be Using for Week 41
The concept. We all have unique problems to solve with respect to our productivity. Unless those specific issues are addressed, changing apps or to-do lists are unlikely to succeed in improving your time management. In fact, much of our time is wasted pondering these problems, which may have little to do with work itself. If we have a relationship problem, we may keep rereading the same paragraphs over and over as we fixate on what so-and-so said. If unrealistic demands are being made of you, using Google Calendar won’t fix things right up.
Using a problem-solving approach takes it out of the realm of the personal and the emotional. When I was in practice, I often had my clients write down everything that was bothering them. Adjacent to each problem, I would have them write down a potential action to take. Even if no action was taken, the process of writing out the problems often freed my clients up from related anxiety. My approach was similar to Scott Young’s, except he advises us to write until we feel like we have a solution. MindTools, on the other hand, would have us treat problems in a very objective way. One of the most helpful steps in their process is to get input from others. Problems that seem impossible to solve because of our connection to them, may offer easy solutions to others.
If you’d like to join me this week, here’s what you do. Keep track of personal and professional problems you are having. Take Scott Young’s approach and write about them until you feel like you have an answer. As a Christian, I prefer to combine this process with prayer. If you are still struggling, work through Mind Tools’ steps, taking advantage of many of the helps they offer. If you’d like a fresh perspective on the area where you’re struggling, feel free to comment here, on the Facebook Page, or on Google+, referencing me with +Melanie Wilson. I’ll be looking for advice for areas I feel stuck in as well.
Here are the links to the productivity hacks I’ve tried so far:
I just love Thanksgiving. Homeschoolers have been busy sharing fantastic ideas for teaching kids an attitude of gratitude–an attitude I could use a booster shot of myself. Here are a few links that have caught my eye this week:
Mama’s Learning Corner blesses us with everything we need to do a unit study on Thanksgiving. We did this one year and even did a Thanksgiving play in full costume. I think I was most impacted by this study as I really pictured what these faithful men and women had endured.
Martha Stewart shares these really cute pilgrim hat patterns that would be perfect for a unit study. Role playing the pilgrims can help kids identify with those who celebrated the first Thanksgiving.
I’m a Christian psychologist turned homeschooling mother of six. My life can be a little crazy, so I look for sanity-saving ideas to use and share. I hope you’ll read my About page to learn more.
This is Week 41 of a Year of Living Productively
